WINGS Note:
Friends in Missouri and elsewhere are choosing to have safe fellowship without unresponsive leaders.

Note 2 (added December 23) The letter is open for further signatures at https://voicesforthetruth.org/resources/for-friends/friends-statement-committing-to-safer-fellowship-and-church-policies/#signatures

Clarification: Clever convention is cancelled.

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To the Friends and Workers of our community,

We are broken-hearted and devastated after hearing about so many painful and traumatic experiences in our fellowship from the sexual assault¹  and child sexual abuse² that have come to light since March 2023. Still, we are thankful God has opened our eyes to what has happened so that we can do what is within our power to stop the abuse and to help victim-survivors begin to heal. We are only beginning to learn what has been hidden for decades by the ministry we once trusted. Courageous men and women, victim-survivors, are finally making their voices heard.

We have decided that we will only participate in a fellowship that has guidelines and governance that protects our fellowship from harm; holds predators, perpetrators, and other complicit parties of such abuse accountable; and supports victim-survivors of sexual assault and child sexual abuse. We welcome you to unite with us in safe fellowship.

At this time, we will continue to have fellowship with all of you in accordance with safety guidelines, our conscience, and the word of God. We will continue to follow the heart of Jesus and promote the safety of all, especially the children and those who are most vulnerable within our fellowship. We cannot allow history to repeat itself and we must choose the righteous path that God has revealed to us. We choose love.

We are not abandoning our faith or our fellowship. Rather, the leaders who choose not to accept the responsibility to enact policies that protect the vulnerable have abandoned us. Our faith in the Lord remains strong, and we will continue to have nourishing fellowship in ways that do not compromise the values and the safety of our community.

As such, we are unified in our commitment to implementing a safety policy in our meetings. Given the decades of disturbing and widespread sexual violence that has been uncovered, any fellowship we participate in will have the following:

• A protocol for immediate action on all reports of SA and CSA that includes cooperating with legal authorities and third-party abuse investigators regarding the alleged abuse. This also includes notifying all individuals in the fellowship who might come into contact with the alleged perpetrator.
• A transparent structure of accountability for members of the ministry who conceal or ignore allegations or reports of sexual assault or child sexual abuse.
• Regular training and education for all members of our fellowship on issues of consent, sexual violence, and the importance of safeguarding minors and other vulnerable members of our fellowship.
• Meaningful support for victim-survivors.
• A commitment to continually review and improve these policies and practices, ensuring that our fellowship remains a safe and nurturing environment for all who wish to participate without fear of encountering a perpetrator.

You can find some of the policies we have enacted and region-specific information here: https://bit.ly/safe-fellowship-policies

We know that many of you who are in the ministry of our fellowship share our conviction, and we invite you to continue to be a part of this fellowship as we make it safer for all. It no longer can be assumed we will offer our homes or our financial support to members of the ministry unless they are willing to uphold the basic tenets outlined above. We pray that members of the ministry and its leadership will do what is right for the good of this fellowship.

To help you understand why we must take this stand, we want to share some of the devastating information that has been revealed to us:

• Sexual assault (SA) and Child sexual abuse (CSA) are widespread across our fellowship.
• In the 10 months between March and November of this year, more than 675 perpetrators of sexual assault or child sexual abuse amongst our fellowship have been reported to the police, legal authorities, and private investigators. Of these 675 alleged perpetrators, the percentage who are workers is roughly 40% (270), and nearly all include instances of CSA.
• It is almost certain that every member of our fellowship knows more than one friend who has or is currently experiencing sexual violence perpetrated by another member of our fellowship.
• Less than half of the SA cases and fewer than one in 10 CSA cases are ever reported.³ Additionally, nearly every perpetrator has multiple victims.⁴ In other words, the 675 named perpetrators likely represent thousands upon thousands of members of our community who have suffered sexual abuse. We know many victim-survivors will never tell their story, but we want them to know we care about them and that they can be assured we are working for safety within the fellowship.
• All reports of SA and CSA should be taken seriously, and attempts to dismiss these claims are a source of direct harm to our fellowship.
• The reason these sexual abuse crimes are rarely reported or prosecuted is not because they didn’t happen. Only 2% of reports of sexual violence are ever falsified.⁴ What prevents victim-survivors from coming forward in nearly all cases are the cultures of blame, minimization, and denial they face if they choose to seek support from family, friends, members of our faith, and ministry.⁵ This culture also allows predators to continue to abuse their victims without fear of meaningful consequences.
• Victim-survivors need our help and support.
• Victim-survivors of SA and CSA may experience devastating, wide-ranging, and long-term effects, including depression and anxiety, self-destructive behaviors including suicide, feelings of worthlessness, and a higher likelihood of sexual assaults in the future.⁶
• Despite messaging from current leadership and staff, attempts to address this crisis without a safety policy have left our fellowship unprotected and victim-survivors unsupported.
• As the attached letters show, there have been many times when events have put our members at risk, in direct contradiction with the assurances that workers have made that predators are ‘being handled’ appropriately.*
• We cannot depend on a ministry that does not provide for a home or the care of a family to suggest an adequate policy that protects children, women, the vulnerable in the fellowship, the church in the home, and property.
• The ministers in this fellowship are not responsible for providing for a home, nor do they know the feeling of responsibility and care for a spouse, children, or grandchildren.

We invite you to unite with us in safe fellowship in accordance with these guidelines, whether you are a Friend, Elder, Worker, or Overseer.  Please visit https://bit.ly/safe-fellowship-commitment to join us in this commitment to safer fellowship standards.

In faith and resolve,

[Growing list of signatures can be viewed at: https://voicesforthetruth.org/resources/for-friends/friends-statement-committing-to-safer-fellowship-and-church-policies/#signatures]

Footnotes

1. Sexual assault (SA) is any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the consent of the victim-survivor. Sexual assault is a broad term that applies to many types of sex crimes committed against adults, including when the victim lacks the capacity to consent or when power differentials exist. In our fellowship, workers have authority over friends, brother workers have authority over sister workers, and men have authority over women, so what may seem to be a ‘consensual relationship’ may result from coercion.
2. CSA, or child sexual abuse, refers to sex crimes committed against a minor. CSA is sometimes referred to as sexual abuse (CSA). CSA may be committed by adults or by older children. CSA can be either physical or nonphysical. CSA can even exist in the absence of touching. This might include exposing a person’s genitals to a child, encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts either in person or on a video, photographing a child in a sexual position, obscene conversations or text, etc.
3. The Impact of Sexual Violence. National Sexual Violence Resource Center. https://nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_NSVRC_Factsheet_Impact-of-sexual-violence_0.pdf
4. Facts and Statistics About Sex Offending. City of Golden, Colorado. https://www.cityofgolden.net/media/FASO.pdf
5. Ahrens, C. E. (2006, December). Being silenced: The impact of negative social reactions on the disclosure of rape. American Journal of Community Psychology. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1705531/ 
6. Effects of sexual violence. RAINN.  https://www.rainn.org/effects-sexual-violence 

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*Letters of support from some who have signed:

CLEVER CONVENTION GROUND OWNERS & PARENTS OF A VICTIM-SURVIVOR — Missouri
Wed, Dec. 13, 2023

Friends,

We are writing to you with broken hearts. We feel moved to share this with you because we care deeply about your spiritual and physical safety. This letter is our response to the devastating news and events that have unfolded since last spring when we learned of the horrific abuse of our dear fellowship children and friends. We also discovered that members of our trusted ministry actually covered up these criminal acts and allowed the abuse to continue. We knew that we must do our part to protect and support victim-survivors. We are shocked and devastated to learn that our ministry does not feel the same.

We have hosted the Clever convention on our property for 21 years and had hoped to preserve this special reunion for years to come. Unfortunately, because leadership will not take meaningful steps to resolve the abuse issues, we are heartbroken to have to tell you that we have no intention of hosting another Special Meeting or Convention on our property.

Since leadership has chosen not to support or protect its flock, we can no longer support the ministry or its leadership in any way. We will continue to be a safe place for anyone — worker, member, former member, or otherwise — who stands with victim-survivors.

The priorities of the ministry were made clear to us when Craig visited with us on Aug. 8, shortly after the Overseers Meeting in Seneca, IL. When we asked him if the Overseers would pass a universal policy for creating a safer fellowship, he shared with us what their real concern was.

Here is a transcript of him describing the Overseers’ consensus, during that conversation with us:

“One of the issues, and this is another way of looking at it… When we’re not looked at as a monolithic Fellowship, in other words, we don’t have one identity in a sense, then our region is in legal protection.

Otherwise, you can get sued as a whole group. But because we aren’t a monolithic work in the sense and we are Regional, then that is a protection in a way.

So, there’s that thought that we don’t want to become identified as one universal fellowship even though we have a lot in common; there is room for regional differences.

It’s one of the reasons we haven’t been sued in the sense because there’s no Central money, and so there’s no way to identify some kind of incentive.”

We never considered there was “another way of looking at” protecting our fellowship from abuse. Yet Craig’s statements demonstrate that the Overseers are more concerned with protecting their finances and shielding themselves from the law than they are with keeping us safe. They seem willing to distort their view in order to protect worldly goods rather than the people they claim to be a shepherd of.

When we asked Craig to share with us some of what our leadership discussed at the overseer’s meeting, he said that Barry Barkley started the meeting by saying:

“Perhaps this is the Lord’s way of disciplining His ministry or, as he called it, ‘Chastising’ His ministry.”

As parents, we know that it is heartbreaking to discipline those we love, but it is necessary for our children’s safety. And that discipline must result in change. Why has our leadership chosen earthly comforts over God’s correction?

In our meeting with the task force on Dec. 10, Craig and his staff mentioned that the workers are confident in how they are currently handling allegations. However, their method of ‘handling’ allegations is no different than it was before this chastisement. They rely on deceitful and dishonest perpetrators to stay within boundaries that they’ve crossed before. We know of a few recent examples in our region where this system has already failed.

1. One of the workers gave an example of how well they believe they’ve handled a specific CSA predator in Oklahoma. However, several months back, this same predator showed up at our home with two of his children. We had no idea there were serious allegations against him and feel violated that the ministry hid information about his past from us and did not give us the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether to allow him into our home.

2. After sharing our draft convention safety policy, we received information a man who raped a 15-year-old girl has not only been attending our conventions for years but also hosts a meeting in his home. The ministry was aware of his actions in 2019, and claims to have ‘handled it’ appropriately. We don’t know whether or not Craig had this information when he came to our area, but we do know that he has been aware of it since 8/17/23 when we shared it with him. There is still a meeting in the predator’s home, and he showed up at an event two weeks ago where many workers and Friends were present.

In that same meeting, the workers said their concern about a policy is that it would cause the ministry to rely on man-made rules rather than spirit-led decisions. The scourge of evil within this church has proven that the ministry requires a policy in order to establish the bare minimum of care for our flock. What is spirit-led should be far and beyond what is in a policy. Perhaps 5, 10, or 15 years from now a policy may fade into the background as people are made aware and we work together to form a culture that cares for victim-survivors and protects our fellowship from predators. But before that can happen, there must be a unified understanding of the evil in our midst. Until then, the ministry will continue to create division by refusing to be honest about these atrocities.

We had hopes that we could work with Craig on resolving these issues, but the leadership’s stance has made that impossible. The vast scope of evil within our ministry proves beyond any doubt that a written policy is essential. The leadership was invited to multiple task force meetings, which included many concerned friends, where we implored them to make changes for a safer fellowship. Sadly, the leadership is firm in its stance and feels confident in its handling of allegations. Their faulty system will continue to fail, and history will repeat itself. Our goals of finding unity and working together with the ministry have been thwarted.

At this time we desire to continue to follow the heart of Jesus and look at the safety of our children and most vulnerable in the fellowship. We CANNOT look at it any other way. We CANNOT choose earthly comfort over the righteous path that God has revealed to us. We believe that every penny that this ministry is trying to protect should go toward support for victim-survivors. We will no longer be financially supporting this ministry in any way. We will continue to have fellowship with all of you in accordance with safety guidelines, our conscience, and the word of God.

Lecil and Gaby Townsend

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ELDER & WIFE (SURVIVOR) — Missouri
Wed, Dec. 13, 2023

Our Most Precious Friends,

Most days since March of this year have been filled with deep sadness at what we have learned. As we write this today, it is no different. The sadness we feel nearly takes our breath away, but amid the sadness, we feel a profound thankfulness that we have a Father that has been so patient & kind to us in this journey. He has been willing to carry the heaviness when it seemed too much.

Through all of this we have been reminded of how precious the children & the vulnerable are to Jesus because He used many examples of this. When we married, our greatest hope was to bring children into this world and we begged God to bless us with them. Sadly, our first two babies went to heaven prior to us holding them. We believe that perhaps, those two precious little lives went to God so that we would have a greater understanding of the seriousness of being parents. We now have the privilege of God lending us 5 beautiful souls here on earth. We are tremendously protective of them, and raising them has been one of our greatest joys. Through them we have gotten to see the heart of our Father more clearly. It is not something we have ever taken lightly & we know God sees every child through much more profound vision than even ours. Little children teach us so much! How to unselfishly love, how to forgive, how to not keep records of wrongs, how to not envy. It is no wonder their angels see the face of God always! The fact that little children & the vulnerable have been used, abused, discounted, labeled & discarded like yesterday’s trash within our fellowship is more than we can fathom. It is a stain and a stench that has reached up to heaven.

We looked to those in our leadership thinking they would have the same level of horror that we do and we have been deeply grieved to realize not only that they don’t, but often seem dismissive or even apathetic. It seems, although they have spoken often about sorrow and repentance, it is not something that they can live out. The longer we have progressed in this journey it has become obvious our leaders have known of these horrible crimes for many years, explaining why they weren’t shocked at their exposure. Perhaps another reason why they are not also horrified is they have never experienced human love on the level a parent does when their new born baby is placed in their arms and we are awestruck at the miracle of life God created. Every victims’ story we have viewed as though it was one of our own precious children who was violated. It has crushed us deeply to experience that pain. It has made the hymn “I want to feel the pain my neighbors often know” very palpable, because our visceral reaction is to run away from the pain of others, but as someone shared, to turn away from the pain of others is another layer of abuse, and Jesus did not ever do that.

Our resolve has become more grounded as each day has passed, that “not on our watch” will we let this happen to another precious little vulnerable soul. We have pleaded with God for help & clarity. We don’t know or understand why God revealed this in such a profound way, but it is very clear that He is calling to those who have ears to hear and waits to see what they are willing to do for “the least of these my brethren”. Some will choose the approval of men, and like the Savior said, “they shall have their reward”. We each bear the responsibility of being our brothers’ keeper in the future. We are so stricken within ourselves that we have had the spirit of a Pharisee in the past & we beg God to never let us slip into that spirit again, or allow Satan to delude us into complacency.

With deep love and great sorrow,

Calvin and Nadine Mead

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ELDER & WIFE — Arkansas
Thu, Dec. 14, 2023

Dear Steve and Daniel,

I am 61 years old, recently retired, have professed for 50 years, and so far, have hosted the local meetings in my home for almost 30 years. My wife and I have had an “open home” for over 40 years.

I am going to share my thoughts, as you requested.

Yes, we are in turmoil. And we have now been in turmoil for at least 8-9 months, with very little acknowledgment or change for the better. However, the reason for the turmoil is not limited to “the way some sexual abuse cases among our friends were handled”. Far from it! The reason for the turmoil is because of the way that multiple things have been “handled” over many decades, and continue to be “handled” even until this present time. Below are some of my thoughts:

Sexual abuse and several other forms of abuse, victimizing both minors and adults, has been a problem in our midst for many years. It has existed within both the fellowship and the ministry. We now have undeniable reports of this occurring for decades, and now know that efforts were made to keep it from becoming common knowledge by way of denial, bullying, slandering/silencing of victims and their advocates, and even excommunication. All were tools used as means of controlling the flow of information and the narrative.

How many people within the fellowship, even to this day, have an accurate picture of what is and has been going on? Have people been truly and honestly informed? Or has there been a continuing effort to “keep people in the dark”? Can anyone deny that there has been total silence outside of those who “need to know”? And whose right or responsibility is it to choose who “needs to know”? Does everyone who “cannot be part of an organized religion or efforts to institutionalize our family fellowship” know that there are now close to 700 verified allegations of abusers, and thousands upon thousands of their victims? Do these same people have any idea how many individuals and families have left the fellowship, and that over 70 workers in N. America alone, have left the ministry, voluntarily and involuntarily, since this crisis began? Why are people being forced to get information from the Internet and word of mouth, instead of from elders and workers? How is this at all helpful in regard to any attempt at rebuilding shattered trust? I believe that it is simply the continuation of a long history of lack of transparency. In fact, I don’t like that term “lack of transparency”. Doesn’t “dishonesty” sound and fit better?

How did we arrive at this point of turmoil, loss of faith in our fellowship structure, and loss of faith in our ministry? I believe that it is due to a combination of several interrelated factors. I have intentionally kept my list short, so it is certainly not all inclusive:

Exclusivity of Form: Our form of meeting together and worship are the only true way to salvation, and anyone that is not a member of our fellowship is doomed to a lost eternity. Or at the very best, in veiled argument against this teaching of exclusivity: “We are not the judge, and our God is merciful”….how many times have we all heard this statement when people who “lost out” and then died are later discussed? Just recently, a dear little man and his elderly mother who meet in my home were told that by a sister worker that “we are now in the end times, and that people presently leaving the fellowship are part of the great “falling away”.

Exclusivity of Ministry: Our celibate(!), “homeless”, 2×2 ministry, which stays in the homes of fellowship members is the only one approved by God, and any other form of ministry is “false”. Every evangelist/minister/pastor/worker outside of our church is a false prophet/hireling. And the very proof of this, as I was taught, is because “this form of ministry has lasted for so long! Surely, if it wasn’t of God, it would have fallen apart by now”.

Worship of Tradition and Man: Only those who have been willing to dress a certain way, have a certain “appearance”, wear their hair a certain way, and attend Sunday fellowship meetings, Wednesday night “meeting”, convention, special meetings, and gospel meetings are true Children of God. Anything else or “less than this” is false, vain worship, evidence of the “wrong spirit”, and is not of God. And the ultimate “example” for women in our fellowship is the way that sister workers behave, wear their hair and dress. Because one can always tell what is on the inside by the outside appearance….especially among the women!!

Lack of Accountability and Transparency: We like to tell ourselves and others that we are not an organized religion. We have taken great pride in this. But in reality, we are VERY organized. We have a definite hierarchy, from “overseers of overseers” all the way down through senior workers, junior workers, male workers, female workers, elders, and rank and file fellowship members. To deny any of this is an outright lie. On the other hand, we have a totally opaque, secretive system of decision making, including decisions of doctrine, church form/structure, finances, and even unwritten “policy”. Everyone wants to deny accountability in any of this, especially as one moves upward in the hierarchy, but once again this is simply put, all lies. Our framework of “independent regional overseers” conveniently supports the system of lack of accountability, as well as continued plausible deniability in the future. We have thrived in darkness and lack of accountability, and it has finally, but inexorably, led to this tremendous upheaval. There is no doubt in my mind that we are an extremely organized religion, and have been so for many decades. Being unwilling to admit the truth does not alter the truth. If we are going to continue with denial of accountability, and the fact the we have dangerously lost our way, are we then, logically, going to blame everything wrong within our fellowship and ministry on God and the leading of his Holy Spirit?! God Forbid!

Of course, one hears arguments denying the “truth” of the above listed items, but can any of us, in our hearts, before God himself, deny that we were taught all of this either directly and/or indirectly, and that together, they have had a tremendous impact upon us individually and as a group/culture? And when one is born and raised in such a cultural milieu, how can our fellowship and the ministry that largely draws from it, not become a breeding ground for all types of sexual, mental, spiritual and other immoral forms of abuse? Of course, there are still a few “worldly” people who occasionally “find” our church, but who can argue that well over 95% of present day members were born and raised in this, and were culturally conditioned to have blind faith, without questioning anything?

After >8 months of countless personal visits, written letters, phone calls, being an advocate for victims in our fellowship, being an active member in several groups, and still witnessing the lukewarm, milk-toast, reluctant responses to any of this by the ministry, and then the same cues/responses being mimicked by most fellowship members, I no longer have much will to fight on, mostly alone, for what has become so obvious to me in hindsight. I am ashamed and grieved to realize that what I thought I had and much of what I believed were not as I imagined. I also do not think, even for one moment, that if we can come up with a written “policy” to ostensibly deal with any potential predators whom we might inadvertently “catch” in the future, that we have accomplished anything worthy of hope for long-term sustainability in our fellowship and ministry. History will simply repeat itself over and over again as long as God allows this present world to stand.

Several months ago, I decided to neither invite workers into my home, nor support any functions in which the ministry is involved, including conventions, special meetings, and gospel meetings. Unfortunately, my stance has not changed.

However, I continue to feel a deep love and spiritual responsibility for my local little fellowship meeting and its members. I will continue in my role as elder of our local meeting, but I no longer answer to anyone but God. Perhaps there is still a slim chance that if more of us, both fellowship members and workers, would stand up and shout from the rooftops that “enough is enough”, there could be impetus for meaningful progress forward. But I fear that most are comfortably complacent, and have great fear of addressing systemic problems openly and honestly.

I hope that you will find it appropriate to forward my complete letter to all in our tristate area, both workers and fellowship members. I firmly believe that if more people had exposure to the absolute truth of our predicament as a church, that more would be moved by the Spirit to step up and play a role in saving our fellowship. Ignorance may be bliss, but it is and always has been a false facade.

Kindest regards,

Sam Vallery

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ELDER & WIFE — Missouri
Thu, Dec. 14, 2023

After reading Sam Vallery’s letter, I find that our own letter is largely a duplication of what he has already written. We agree that this present issue is a symptom of other issues. Even if the sexual abuse and child sex abuse can be dealt with, there are additional problems that must be addressed.

My name is Daniel Zal.  I live in the upstate NY area, 62 years old, professing all my life.  My wife and I have recently decided to separate ourselves from the fellowship.  The following will explain why we have made this decision.

“Some events cannot be rationalized – they are either real or imagined, either right or wrong –  and any meaningful reconciliation needs to start from a place of accountability and truth”.
anonymous

Over the last months I have spent many hours thinking, reflecting and processing the new reality I am living in. I may have finally gotten to a place where I am able to articulate, in a sensible manner, what I now think and feel.

I have been thinking a lot about what Jesus taught regarding “how to inherit eternal life”. Three of the gospels recount a time when Jesus was asked this question. 

His response(s):
Matt19 he said “keep the commandments….., and come follow me”
Mark,10:17 “Thou knowest the commandments…., take up thy cross and follow me”
Luke 10:25 “Thou shalt love the lord with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.  This do and thou shalt live”
Luke, 18:18 “Thou knowest the commandments…come and follow me”

(One of the men, referred to in each of the three gospels, was also asked to sell all.  But, let’s assume this was a requirement for this specific individual and not a requirement for everyone.)

We might consider loving God and our neighbor as pretty straight forward. I will come back to this topic in a bit. For now, let’s just consider more deeply what exactly it means to follow Jesus.  I will repeat a story I shared during the Altamont ’22 convention.  Excuse the repetition if you’ve already heard it. 

My wife and I had been dining out with 2 friends.  One, an observant 70ish y/o Jewish man.  The other was a 60ish y/o woman with no connection, or desire for one, to any organized religion.  In the course of conversation my Jewish friend began expressing his admiration for Noah because “he walked with God”. Such a remarkable testimony. My non-religious friend responded after a brief pause by asking, “What do you think it means to walk with God”.  My Jewish friend took a breath, leaned forward, and appeared eager to respond. But then paused, and had to admit he did not have an answer.  And I realized I didn’t either. You might reasonably expect that after sitting in meetings and reading and reflecting on the scripture for some 60 years I would have had a good answer, or at least some answer.

I have spent considerable time since then reflecting on what it does mean to walk with God.  It has been a rewarding exercise, even though it comes late in life.  I feel like anyone who professes to follow Jesus should be able to articulate in 50 words or less at least the essence what it means.  And I would suggest that if a person isn’t able to articulate an answer, that they really don’t know.  From what I’ve read, heard and observed over the last months it seems increasingly apparent that too many people in the ministry/fellowship have been walking along without any clear guidelines for what it means to really follow Jesus.

Although, I’m a bit reluctant to “cast my pearls before swine,” as it were, I would suggest that one of the core principles involves a relationship with the truth. 

From my earliest memory I have heard this “Way” referred to as the “Truth”.  We talk about walking in Truth.  The Truth was clearly important to Jesus.  He said; “I am the Truth”, “Know the Truth and the Truth will set you free”, “For this cause came I into the world and to this end was I born, to bear witness unto the Truth.”  We recently studied the Gospel of John.  In that Gospel Jesus mentions the Truth 22 times. I think about God as representing (among other things) all that is Most True.  If Jesus is the Truth and we are feeding on the “Lamb,” (as we often hear we should be) we should also be interested in searching out what is true and being willing to acknowledge it and accept it, even when it is inconvenient or difficult.

I think when I have tried to convey this concept in the past it may not have really translated easily into a practical understanding of what I am trying to convey. So I will use an example that might help clarify what I mean. 

When a young woman goes to an overseer and communicates to him that she and her best friend have discovered explicit evidence that her friend’s mother and another overseer are having an intimate sexual relationship, what would the response be of someone who is interested in what is actually true and being willing to acknowledge it in spite of the complications it would precipitate?  I can say with certainty that the response would not be “don’t spread false rumors”.  It would also not be “We have to keep this between us.  We can’t say anything about this to others because it might cause them to be so discouraged that they might lose out and then their soul would be lost.”  These are not the responses of a person who is following Jesus.  Yet, these seem to have been the responses, or typical of the responses, to the majority of reported cases of abuse by the overwhelming majority of overseers and others in places of authority for many years.

Personally, I am very interested in what is true.  And, given that truth is relative, I am even more interested in what is most true.  I see as a central purpose of studying the scripture in general, and the Gospels in particular, is to discover what it reveals regarding God’s truth and then living in a way that aligns my life with what is most true.

So, let me give another example of how this plays out.  When an overseer speaks at convention about forgiveness, and refers to relevant scripture (including Matt 18:15-17) that supports his position, he is communicating something that is true in a sense.  But, when he intentionally leaves out the last half of Matt 18:17 that contradicts the essence of his sermon, this shows a troubling disregard for what is most true.  It reveals either a marked ignorance of the subject or an intentional attempt to mislead, neither of which is very admirable.  No judgement, but, from all outward appearances it appears this is a man who is not walking in truth, who is not following Jesus and who is occupying the place of an overseer.  And what is also surprising is that hardly anyone seems to notice.

How many times have we heard 1Cor:11 referenced as the scriptural basis for the appropriate length of men’s and women’s hair. However, I have never heard the 16th verse included in any of these discussions. Paul concludes the matter by saying, “we have no such custom, neither do the churches of God”.  What is most true here?  It might be that the Corinthians had a certain custom that Paul was supportive of for the Corinthians in their own community.  But it wasn’t really relevant in general.  This seems to be more true.  It’s worth a considering.

Next, I would like to explore a little more deeply the importance of loving your neighbor as thyself.

In Matt 23:36 when asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus responded that to love God and to love thy neighbor as thyself are the 2 greatest. “On these two hang all the law and the prophets”

Luke, 10:25 “Thou shalt love the Lord with all thy heart, and all thy soul, all thy strength, all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.” (He was then asked about who should be considered a neighbor.)

So, if we believe the words Jesus spoke, I think it safe to say the primary requirements for salvation are to love the Lord, love your neighbor, and to follow him.

Let’s explore the dynamics of loving your neighbor through the parable of the good Samaritan.  A “certain (Jewish) man” was accosted by thieves, stripped of his cloths, wounded and left half dead.  By chance there passed by both a priest and a Levite. Now, one might assume because of their religious practice and familiarity with the law, they would be conscious of their responsibility to love their brother/neighbor (or at least act like they did).  However, they both crossed to the opposite side of the street to avoid the man.  Along comes a Samaritan who would ordinarily have no dealings with a Jew.  Yet, in spite of whatever enmity might typically exist, he has it in his heart to stop, bind up his wounds, anoint him with oil, carry him to the nearest place of shelter and volunteer to pay for whatever care would be necessary for a full recovery.

This is a beautiful example of reaching out, even across religious and cultural divides, with a spirit of compassion and care that exemplifies what Jesus meant by “loving your neighbor as yourself”.  Jesus said, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, by the love ye have one for another”.  It is worth considering, just by the virtue of the Samaritan’s charitable disposition, that he might very likely be considered a disciple.

There is another portion of scripture which is very relevant to touch on.  In Matt 25:31-46 we read of what will happen when Jesus returns, and all the holy angels with him.  He shall sit on the throne of his glory.  All nations will be gathered before him and he shall separate them as a shepherd shall separate his sheep from the goats.  The only basis mentioned here for determining where a person ends up will be how they treated other people. And not just how but with what spirit they did so. The sheep will be those who, just as the good Samaritan did, had it in their hearts to reach out to those who were in need of help regardless of their ethnicity, social status or religious persuasion.  They weren’t responding just because they thought it was the right thing to do, or because it would help them store up treasure in heaven.  It was just a consequence of the compassion and love they felt for others.

In spite of what we may have been explicitly or implicitly taught, I have not found any scriptural basis that supports the belief that participating in a specific fellowship, attending certain type of meeting, wearing a certain type of dress or style of cloths or jewelry or length of hair or hairstyle is a criteria for salvation.  None of these will have much, if any, relevance when Jesus is separating the sheep from the goats.  As Paul says in 1Cor:13 we could have many wonderful qualities, and do many admirable acts, but if we aren’t possessed and motivated by a spirit of charity it will all come to nothing.

We now know that for many years, probably since the time of William Irvine, there has been immoral behavior occurring in the fellowship and the ministry. Many brothers and sisters and workers have been the victims of abuse.  This abuse has in many cases caused devastating trauma with life long consequences. We are also now aware that there has been a consistent pattern of behaviour by those leading the ministry and by others with influence, over this same long history, to do their best to keep this knowledge as contained as possible.  The reputation of the perpetrators and the ministry has, in the vast majority of instances, always been given preeminence over the welfare of the victims.

Fredrich Nietzche once said, “Men betray themselves for the sake of their good name all the time”.  A commentary on this quote – “When you lie to yourself you begin to corrupt the structure of your very being”. 

This is bad enough.  But now that all of this (corruption) has come to light and can no longer be kept quiet there still seems to be a reluctance to acknowledge it and respond in a way that is consistent with following Jesus.  I went to convention this year hoping I would hear some overt acknowledgement of what has been occurring, sense a spirit of repentance and see some evidence of changes being made to at least improve safety. Instead, I heard things like we should just forgive everyone for everything, don’t feed on garbage or think too much about anything that might be distressing, bad things will happen but don’t dwell on it, question things in the right way with the right tone, etc.

I have read that in a few other parts of the country there may be some sincere efforts being made to consider these issues carefully and respond with integrity.  But in the northeast there has been zero apparent effort made to make any changes or implement any meaningful guidelines in response to the debacle we find ourselves in.  Relative to the victims of abuse, there has been no outreach by the ministry.  There has been no anointing of oil, no overt expression of compassion, no balm for the wounded, no effort to take the injured to a place of healing and maybe even pay for their care. To me, it seems like the response of the majority of the friends and workers has been pretty much exactly like that of the priest and Levite.  This is so antithetical to the teachings of Jesus that I can only shake my head in wonder.  That this is the behavior being manifested by those who believe and imply they are being led by the spirit of God, again, I can only shake my head in wonder.

We have arrived at a time when things in this “way of truth” have gotten very complicated. Many have been a part of the fellowship for years, perhaps for all of their lives, and are reluctant to even consider a separation from it for any reason. It has become an integral part of their identity. They may not have any friends or social contacts other than within this community.  For them, the prospect of extricating themselves from this community would likely be profoundly destabilizing and anxiety inducing.  I totally understand that many will choose to continue with fellowship as usual and support the ministry as they have always done.

I can understand why Barry and Ray would choose to keep their heads down and  choose to not make any major changes. Doing nothing is easy and will likely cause the greatest number of people the least amount of distress. In a storm it would not be smart to start rocking the boat. The storm will eventually blow over and business will resume as usual with everybody who has managed to stay in the boat.  But doing what is easy and smart in a practical sense is not the same as following Jesus.  Especially if Jesus isn’t even in the boat.  And, from my perspective, this is looking more and more likely as time passes.

Having fellowship and attending meetings are great, to the extent that they help cultivate a loving relationship with God and our neighbors and help “guide one into all truth”. And, for those continuing in fellowship meetings, I sincerely hope that will be the case. 

So, to the best of my ability I have articulated my thoughts.  I will also express how I feel.  Thoughts and feelings are intimately connected but they have distinct origins, one from the head, the other from the heart.

The best way to convey how I feel is with a story.  Think of it as a parable, but one based in actual fact

A couple in their 50s are in a crisis. For 30+ years they have seemingly enjoyed a wonderful, intimate, fulfilling marriage. They have been mutually supportive. Both have successful careers. They have 2 adult children.  Everything seems pretty perfect.  Except the wife eventually finds out that during the entire time they’ve been married, since the honeymoon, her husband has been serially unfaithful, literally hundreds of times. (The husband was a victim of repeated sexual and physical abuse as a child.) Now, against the advice of all her friends, and both her children, the wife decides she is willing to work on trying to save the  marriage. Not the response you would expect.  She does this because for over 30 years she had lived in a reality that was relatively wonderful and fulfilling.  What allows for even the possibility of saving the relationship is the husbands willingness to acknowledge his errors, to take responsibility for them, to repent in a way that is painfully sincere, and to make the necessary changes in his own life.  A difficult process with a undetermined outcome.

You can hopefully see the parallels.  I spent many years living in a reality where I believed certain things to be true, and that was wonderful.  I have no regrets.  My children, who at one time all professed and now don’t, all regard the religious aspect of their upbringing as a good thing.  I have never heard them express regret or resentment about this part of their lives.  It has given us all a foundation on which to build a spiritual practice.  But now I have found that some of the most fundamental things I once believed to be true are actually false. I feel betrayed in the same way, but with admittedly maybe not quite the same degree of devastation, as the wife did when she realized the magnitude of her husbands betrayal. 

There was a time, early on, when if there had been some acknowledgement of what had gone wrong, some indication of repentance, a willingness to make appropriate changes and do some difficult work there might have been a possibility of saving the relationship.  But that has not been the case. And It feels like the relationship is at an end.

November 9, 2023

Dear Friends,

We are deeply saddened, disappointed, and hurt with the news of allegations of abuse within our fellowship. Our primary concern is for the survivors. As Christians, and as a ministry, we openly condemn all forms of abuse: Child Sexual Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Abuse of Power, Acts and Threats of Physical Abuse, and Corruption. Where crimes have been committed, we support legal action. Where abuse of power has been exercised, we support change to be in alignment with New Testament teachings.

It is with deep compassion that we encourage those who have experienced abuse to report the abuse or share their truth with a trusted friend. No one should be alone, and it was not their fault. Abuse can be reported to local authorities and domestic or international organizations that help survivors. Reporting has the potential to relieve weight from the experience, as well as allow the problems to be addressed. We are willing to help and we trust that our Father will show us how to help.

We are one body. When one member is harmed, we all grieve. We are well acquainted with the reality that the errors of the few can undermine confidence in the whole. While we grieve for the survivors, we also pray for the church. Betrayal of trust by those in the ministry harms everyone in the fellowship. Betrayal causes us to question everything. We understand that many are hurt and we pray that in this experience you will cling to the Rock, Christ Jesus.

We pray that all will find comfort through the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. Human support is crucial, yet even well-intentioned attempts born from a pure heart are easily surpassed by the unfailing love of our Heavenly Father and the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit. Because God has reserved the fullness of comfort to himself, we strongly encourage each grieving soul to turn to Him.

We have full assurance that our Heavenly Father knows everything, and by His direction these issues can be resolved.

With love and care, Lyle Schober

From: Samuel Vallery [email redacted]
Subject: Re: Monday
Date: November 27, 2023 at 2:23:40 PM CST
To: daniel farris [email redacted]
Cc: Craig Winquist [email redacted]

Dear Steve and Daniel,

I am 61 years old, recently retired, have professed for 50 years, and so far, have hosted the local meetings in my home for almost 30 years. My wife and I have had an “open home” for over 40 years.

I am going to share my thoughts, as you requested.

Yes, we are in turmoil. And we have now been in turmoil for at least 8-9 months, with very little acknowledgment or change for the better. However, the reason for the turmoil is not limited to “the way some sexual abuse cases among our friends were handled”. Far from it! The reason for the turmoil is because of the way that multiple things have been “handled” over many decades, and continue to be “handled” even until this present time. Below are some of my thoughts:

Sexual abuse and several other forms of abuse, victimizing both minors and adults, has been a problem in our midst for many years. It has existed within both the fellowship and the ministry. We now have undeniable reports of this occurring for decades, and now know that efforts were made to keep it from becoming common knowledge by way of denial, bullying, slandering/silencing of victims and their advocates, and even excommunication. All were tools used as means of controlling the flow of information and the narrative.

How many people within the fellowship, even to this day, have an accurate picture of what is and has been going on? Have people been truly and honestly informed? Or has there been a continuing effort to “keep people in the dark”? Can anyone deny that there has been total silence outside of those who “need to know”? And whose right or responsibility is it to choose who “needs to know”? Does everyone who “cannot be part of an organized religion or efforts to institutionalize our family fellowship” know that there are now close to 700 verified allegations of abusers, and thousands upon thousands of their victims? Do these same people have any idea how many individuals and families have left the fellowship, and that over 70 workers in N. America alone, have left the ministry, voluntarily and involuntarily, since this crisis began? Why are people being forced to get information from the Internet and word of mouth, instead of from elders and workers? How is this at all helpful in regard to any attempt at rebuilding shattered trust? I believe that it is simply the continuation of a long history of lack of transparency. In fact, I don’t like that term “lack of transparency”.  Doesn’t “dishonesty” sound and fit better?

How did we arrive at this point of turmoil, loss of faith in our fellowship structure, and loss of faith in our ministry? I believe that it is due to a combination of several interrelated factors. I have intentionally kept my list short, so it is certainly not all inclusive:

Exclusivity of Form: Our form of meeting together and worship are the only true way to salvation, and anyone that is not a member of our fellowship is doomed to a lost eternity. Or at the very best, in veiled argument against this teaching of exclusivity:  “We are not the judge, and our God is merciful”….how many times have we all heard this statement when people who “lost out” and then died are later discussed? Just recently, a dear little man and his elderly mother who meet in my home were told that by a sister worker that “we are now in the end times, and that people presently leaving the fellowship are part of the great “falling away”.

Exclusivity of Ministry: Our celibate(!), “homeless”, 2×2 ministry, which stays in the homes of fellowship members is the only one approved by God, and any other form of ministry is “false”. Every evangelist/minister/pastor/worker outside of our church is a false prophet/hireling. And the very proof of this, as I was taught, is because “this form of ministry has lasted for so long! Surely, if it wasn’t of God, it would have fallen apart by now”.

Worship of Tradition and Man: Only those who have been willing to dress a certain way, have a certain “appearance”, wear their hair a certain way, and attend Sunday fellowship meetings, Wednesday night “meeting”, convention, special meetings, and gospel meetings are true Children of God. Anything else or “less than this” is false, vain worship, evidence of the “wrong spirit”, and is not of God. And the ultimate “example” for women in our fellowship is the way that sister workers behave, wear their hair and dress. Because one can always tell what is on the inside by the outside appearance….especially among the women!!

Lack of Accountability and Transparency: We like to tell ourselves and others that we are not an organized religion. We have taken great pride in this. But in reality, we are VERY organized. We have a definite hierarchy, from “overseers of overseers” all the way down through senior workers, junior workers, male workers, female workers, elders, and rank and file fellowship members. To deny any of this is an outright lie. On the other hand, we have a totally opaque, secretive system of decision making, including decisions of doctrine, church form/structure, finances, and even unwritten “policy”. Everyone wants to deny accountability in any of this, especially as one moves upward in the hierarchy, but once again this is simply put, all lies. Our framework of “independent regional overseers” conveniently supports the system of lack of accountability, as well as continued plausible deniability in the future. We have thrived in darkness and lack of accountability, and it has finally, but inexorably, led to this tremendous upheaval. There is no doubt in my mind that we are an extremely organized religion, and have been so for many decades. Being unwilling to admit the truth does not alter the truth.  If we are going to continue with denial of accountability, and the fact the we have dangerously lost our way, are we then, logically, going to blame everything wrong within our fellowship and ministry on God and the leading of his Holy Spirit?! God Forbid!

Of course, one hears arguments denying the “truth” of the above listed items, but can any of us, in our hearts, before God himself, deny that we were taught all of this either directly and/or indirectly, and that together, they have had a tremendous impact upon us individually and as a group/culture? And when one is born and raised in such a cultural milieu, how can our fellowship and the ministry that largely draws from it, not become a breeding ground for all types of sexual, mental, spiritual and other immoral forms of abuse? Of course, there are still a few “worldly” people who occasionally “find” our church, but who can argue that well over 95% of present day members were born and raised in this, and were culturally conditioned to have blind faith, without questioning anything?

After >8 months of countless personal visits, written letters, phone calls, being an advocate for victims in our fellowship, being an active member in several groups, and still witnessing the lukewarm, milk-toast, reluctant responses to any of this by the ministry, and then the same cues/responses being mimicked by most fellowship members, I no longer have much will to fight on, mostly alone, for what has become so obvious to me in hindsight. I am ashamed and grieved to realize that what I thought I had and much of what I believed were not as I imagined. I also do not think, even for one moment, that if we can come up with a  written “policy” to ostensibly deal with any potential predators whom we might inadvertently “catch” in the future, that we have accomplished anything worthy of hope for long-term sustainability in our fellowship and ministry. History will simply repeat itself over and over again as long as God allows this present world to stand.

Several months ago, I decided to neither invite workers into my home, nor support any functions in which the ministry is involved, including conventions, special meetings, and gospel meetings. Unfortunately, my stance has not changed.

However, I continue to feel a deep love and spiritual responsibility for my local little fellowship meeting and its members. I will continue in my role as elder of our local meeting, but I no longer answer to anyone but God. Perhaps there is still a slim chance that if more of us, both fellowship members and workers, would stand up and shout from the rooftops that “enough is enough”, there could be impetus for meaningful progress forward. But I fear that most are comfortably complacent, and have great fear of addressing systemic problems openly and honestly.

I hope that you will find it appropriate to forward my complete letter to all in our tristate area, both workers and fellowship members. I firmly believe that if more people had exposure to the absolute truth of our predicament as a church, that more would be moved by the Spirit to step up and play a role in saving our fellowship. Ignorance may be bliss, but it is and always has been a false facade.

Kindest regards,

Sam Vallery

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WINGS Note: Sam Vallery’s letter (above) was written in response to a letter from workers (below) asking for “a little guidance in how to proceed“.

We don’t yet have a response from workers to Sam Vallery’s letter.

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On Nov 27, 2023, at 9:58 AM, daniel farris [email redacted] wrote:

Good Morning MO, AR, and OK friends,

We hope you all have had a good weekend like we did.  Yesterday morning I, Daniel, was glad to be reminded of Jesus’ instructions to his disciples to “Come ye yourselves apart and rest a while.”  We are glad that this rest is still available as we seek to follow Christ. 

[General discussion re a recent funeral removed]

On another subject, most of you know the workers and friends have been in a turmoil the last few months because of the way some sexual abuse cases among our friends were handled.  Now we are in a turmoil of how to deal with these things. We have people that say they cannot feel safe going to meeting till the workers implement a written policy showing how these cases will be dealt with.  On the other hand we have people that are telling us they cannot be a part of organized religion or efforts to institutionalize our family fellowship.  Some of us workers find ourselves in the middle of these two opinions.  For ourselves we need a little guidance in how to proceed.  Do you feel like the workers need to embrace a written policy addressing CSA/SA?  Even if you don’t feel like this is something necessary do you feel it is something you could accept for the sake of those who say it is required before they can feel safe being in meeting?  We understand these are sensitive topics and the division of opinions is getting greater and we want to proceed with spiritual salvation and natural safety in mind.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Two MO workers,
Steve and Daniel

I’m sorry for the length of this when everyone is already weary from a lot of reading.
TLDR version: I’m not going to be a worker or come to meetings anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoco1CQ7qU0&ab_channel=PaperHorses

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To all,

I am sending this to let everyone know that I don’t intend to continue being in the work or to keep attending meetings. In making this decision I have no desire to do harm to anyone’s faith in God and Jesus, only to take my life out of the hands of overseers and place it entirely in God’s hands. I am not campaigning for people to leave the church but I fully support the ones who have and it is dead wrong to refer to them as “lost out”, being a part of the “falling away” or any of the other categories that they are often lightly thrown into when their decision was not made lightly. The church must take hold of its liberty in Christ and learn how to operate independently from the overseers before it can ever be healthy.

It sounds so inadequate to say, but I want to say thank you to Sheri Autrey, Lauren Rohs, and Cynthia Liles. I know hardly a fraction of what they have done over the past eight months and more, trying to help a church that refuses to help itself.

There is no end to what could be written, but many other exit letters have already said it far better than I could. Instead, I will paste some things that I have already written in emails to the NC/VA/MD/DE workers and some notes from things I said in NC and VA listening sessions.

Your friend and brother, Jared Snyder

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June 3, 2023 email to NC/VA/MD/DE workers:

“I think some of us have gotten too self-righteous about “not reading stuff on the internet” because it’s “not good feeding ground” and it has rendered us clueless in the current situation. The Bible itself gives a n unblinking, realistic account of some horrible things, including the failings of God’s own people. We all need to be aware simultaneously of what is going on and discussions that are happening so that we can face reality together. The cluelessness that I’m trying to call out is something I have been guilty of for a long time. I have “not gotten it” in every way there is to “not get it”, but there’s no need to stay that way.”

“Who is really happy and healthy among us, or do we feel we have to act that way, and that everyone else should too? I had a horrific nervous breakdown several years ago, simply from being a worker and trying to do what workers do and I often worry about the daily misery that my co-workers, especially the young ones, might be experiencing for reasons they can’t sort out. But there’s never time to really stop and think without the pounding drum of the next upcoming worker duty overtaking your thoughts. For many it has been far worse:”

“Eli’s sons were so despicable that the people abhorred the offering of the Lord. We should also acknowledge God’s displeasure that many have been robbed of the ability to enjoy fellowship among us. We have lived to the drumbeat of the gospel meeting, special meeting, convention routine for so long that we are hypnotized. We can’t tear ourselves away from this religious routine long enough to get together and address a very obvious crisis as the family that we supposedly are.”

June 5, 2023 email to NC/VA/MD/DE workers:

Are any of us interested in having a discussion about how we’ll communicate with our young families about keeping their children safe at convention this year?

Hodgie Holgerson molested a child in Hawaii before eventually moving to Virginia. We didn’t know this but it was whispered about among our friends for years that “something happened” with a hushed fearfulness that they might be gossiping or too judgmental. Hodgie has been attending Virginia conventions for years and using his beekeeping hobby to groom and gain access to children. There is now another allegation, from more recent years, that has surfaced since the one that prompted our letter. This game of “who can be the most spiritual” can be a dangerous one when we can’t say what we know or feel for fear of being considered not spiritual enough.

If being spiritual means never getting upset about anything, ever, then I have started to lose the game badly. When Jesus was turning over tables there was probably someone reminding him that it was a house of prayer and to calm down. (Written before Ron Thomke spoke this very thing at Downings this year)

This is the Lord’s war with Amalek in OUR generation, why is it so upsetting that some want to blot out his remembrance from under heaven, instead of sparing him for another generation?

It is hard to give yourself to evangelism when you’re unsure of how a vulnerable new babe might be treated, or what old and dead traditions might be thrust on them, like a yoke that neither we nor our fathers were able to bear.

The next time there is a septic problem during a convention I’ll remind everyone that God is on the throne, to not let their heart be troubled, and assure them that I’m going to go pray about it. If it’s really bad we’ll call in the help of the older brothers, who apparently have more access to the Holy Spirit than the rest of us, based on what we’re hearing back from some. If I live another twenty or thirty years, I look forward to the benefits of this extra dispensation.

Can anyone offer a starting point for coming together and having conversations and considering questions that are not the least bit new among our friends, who open their homes to us?

Jun 24, 2023 Holly Springs, NC listening session

Jared shared that he felt that this was an initially slow and personal process that began for him when the information was shared about Dean Brue r and became more intense with the news of more overseers having to step aside due to allegations. He felt very much that the Lord is purging His ministry and this began for him a process of self examination and then opening himself to God’s examination that He would reveal if there was anyone he had not listened to or not been there for in their time of need. More broadly, we should be asking, as a ministry, who have we failed and what can we do for them?”

July 11, 2023 Huntersville, NC listening session

• If I love someone’s soul, I want them to believe in Jesus. If they believe in Jesus, that will get them to heaven and eternal life. They don’t have to believe in a homeless, celibate, 2 x2 ministry. They just need to believe in Jesus.
• God knows who and where people are. God can keep them alive and feed them. That’s the kind of servant I want to be, to feed that faith. I don’t know what my future will look like, but that’s what faith is, isn’t it? Does it require more faith to do the same thing you’ve always done, or to do what you’ve never done before when God is asking for it?

Aug 3, 2023 Bolivia, NC listening session

I also think about realizing the experience of a survivor of abuse and how we have failed to understand the long term trauma they experience. We’ve had a goal of getting people in meetings, but now I can understand why they couldn’t bring themselves to come to meeting. Jeremiah 6:  4-16 NIV “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush.”

I feel like this is something we have done. People who have been wounded in the worst kind of way, just had their wound not taken seriously and we do need to feel ashamed of that. I wish I could take a walk back through my 21 years in the work and change things I may have said or thought about people who stopped coming to meetings in the past. As these meetings have been going on, things have been changing and one thing I have been thinking about recently is there is a strong possibility of a split and people pulling back from coming to meetings. That is not a choice that anyone is making lightly and it is quite agonizing for them.

Aug 8, 2023 Fredericksburg, VA listening session

Collectively we have not entered this process of repentance as a ministry. The reaction of some will be “I haven’t done anything.” Ask God what HAVE I done? Who have I harmed? Experience of a victim: not just what was done but years later processing, speaking up but not being believed, seeing nothing done to the offender, can’t go to meeting so others say they “lost out” or have gotten offended. This is an agonizing struggle. So we’ve all done harm at times by not understanding people and what they’ve gone through.

At recent sessions it has been pointed out that we ask, who is being brought into the fellowship? But should we be asking how many have we driven away? We’ve driven many away. So what does God want? God has given no guarantee that this ministry will continue like it is, but He and His Son will be there. Also there’s no guarantee what this fellowship will be. But put your faith in Him.

Referring to ourselves as the “kingdom” – it’s actually whoever is serving the king. Who’s submitted to the king. Can we say that we are the only ones on the earth that are right while all of this is going on? Seems foolish. The Lord knows who are his. Shameful that we have said our form is the truth, not Jesus. God has been very merciful to us as a people. Makes you wonder what he wants next. Maybe interact with others in our community who are also trying to be Christians.

Sept 2023 Greensboro, NC convention

I want to add my witness to Greg’s [Greg Swenson], I have also had visits with people who have decided to stop coming to meetings for the time being and they are not losing out or falling away from God. A friend that I grew up with testified in court about a criminal act of abuse done to a child by an elder that she witnessed and the overseer made it known that she was not to be in meeting if she testified – that overseer is still in the work, and where does that leave her? It goes beyond that. We have brothers and sisters in Christ that have a relationship with God, believe in Jesus, are born again, are seeking to be led by the Holy Spirit, and will inherit eternal life who have never met or heard a worker. They don’t know this ministry or fellowship exists and they are alive to God. Something we need to chew on. Why aren’t we having fellowship with those people.

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WINGS Note: Jared Snyder and Greg Swenson are two brother workers in North Carolina who took a “leave of absence” after the NC/VA conventions this year and began traveling around US listening to/supporting others. The NC/VA/MD/DE workers list shows a blank by both their names–no field, no explanation, just phone and address. 

Jared’s letter was sent November 16, 2023.

November 8th, 2023 Letter: Deacons & Advocates

To our friends in Texas & New Mexico,

The deacon/advocate project has been quite the process, and although we still have more to learn, we feel that the system currently in place will promote a safe environment for our fellowship. Our main objective is to protect the vulnerable, be in compliance with the law, and to have an internal record of any predatory and/or red flag behaviors by anyone in our fellowship.

This process is intended to:

• Keep an internal record of information in any cases of CSA/SA and Red Flag Behaviors
• Operate separate from the ministry which prevents the consolidation of information and power
• Protect the most vulnerable among us

We are thankful for those who have willingly accepted this responsibility.

Deacons

We feel it is beneficial to use a scriptural structure and office to ensure integrity and accountability of our ministry in the event that a case of CSA or SA occurs in our fellowship. The office of a Deacon is a scriptural office (Acts 6, 1 Tim. 3:8-13). Deacons are assigned to deal with administrative responsibilities within the fellowship. The office is separate from the ministry in order to ensure that there can be no collusion or cover-ups.

The deacons have been chosen based on recommendations made by our friends and workers. In order to protect the privacy of those who are filling the role we will be listing the deacons by their gender, age range, and language spoken. We are assigning them Google numbers that will be forwarded to their cell phones. By indicating which deacons are bilingual (Spanish and English) it will allow for someone to reach outside of the deacons in their region if they need to communicate in Spanish.

We have created a chat forum on our Fellowship Resources & Communications platform where the deacons will be able to communicate and support one another. Our thought is that the current deacons would stay in the position for 5 years and then someone else would assume the office; however, if any personal need arises the deacons are free to step away and someone else will step into the position.

We are thankful that a collaborative process has allowed this structure to be established. Our hope is that it will never need to be used, but in the event that new allegations come forward we want to have a system in place that ensures compliance with the law and accountability within our fellowship. We purpose to provide the safest environment possible.

Responsibilities of the Deacons concerning CSA/SA allegations:

• Confirm that the allegation has been reported to proper legal authorities: TXDFPS/NMCYFD and/or Law Enforcement
• Write the Incident Report to maintain an internal record of steps that have been taken. The deacons are not investigators.
  (The purpose of these Incident Reports is to have documentation of steps taken to assure the safety of all in our fellowship. )
• Keep the workers in the field abreast of any accusations in their field.
• Work in conjunction with law enforcement or CPS, contacting them for recommendations when an allegation is brought to their attention.
• Inform the elder/bishop of the meeting, the workers in the field, and the friends involved about the situation, as soon as the professional investigators give them permission to do so.

Red Flag Behaviors

First and foremost the responsibility of reporting falls on the person who observed the questionable behavior. If you see something, say something to the person directly. After communicating with the individual who “raised a Red Flag”, if the person who observed the behavior still feels that there should be a record of the incident, then they must contact the deacon in their region and report it.

For information on Red Flag Behaviors see the Resource document on the FRC platform titled: Red Flag Behaviors under Policies and Guidelines

Responsibilities of the Deacons Concerning Red Flag Behaviors:

• Write the Incident Report to maintain an internal record of the behavior and the steps that have been taken
• If the behavior is repeated then more steps must be taken, and those steps will be determined by the people most familiar with the situation: Bishop/Elder of the meeting, deacons, workers in the field, the person who observed or was the recipient of the behavior
• If the behavior is not repeated then it is considered an incident of ignorance and not a Red Flag.

New Mexico: Deacons

Texas: Deacons

Advocates

We are very thankful for all the people who volunteered to fill the advocate role. We have coordinated with a CASA (Court Appointed Social Advocate) trainer to conduct a Zoom training for all who are interested in becoming advocates. It is scheduled on two separate dates in December. You will receive a certificate once you have completed your training. After you have completed your training, we ask that you email your certificate to [redacted]@gmail.com , and include in the message the region where you live. The information will be compiled and will be made available to the deacons.

Training for Advocates: From Darkness to Light

From Darkness to Light is the name of the training program currently being used by the CASA organization. This will be a live training via Zoom that is being tailored to our specific needs. The session will be 2½-3 hours long.

This is the explanation provided by our training facilitators:

• Darkness to Light is guided by the vision of a world free from child sexual abuse, envisioning a world in which adults form prevention-oriented communities that protect the child’s right to a healthy childhood, which is why our organization uses this curriculum.
• Darkness to Light believes that protecting children is an adult’s responsibility, and that through education and training, adults will be empowered to act. Their trainings are the only evidence-informed, adult-focused child sexual abuse prevention trainings proven to increase knowledge and change behavior, empowering adults and organizations to bring child safety into their own communities.
• Our Community Engagement Team members are all certified facilitators of the “Stewards of Children” training curriculum.
• The link to the Darkness to Light’s ” Stewards of Children” training:
  https://www.d2l.org/education/stewards-of-children/
• The mission of this training is to teach how to recognize, prevent and react responsibly to child sexual abuse, and to teach advocates to be competent and confident in preventing abuse and to respond skillfully if it occurs.

Training Dates:

Those who would like to attend either of these sessions please email A.R. [redacted]@gmail.com, by December 10th and indicate which session you would like to attend. This information must be submitted to our CASA trainers by December 11th in order for them to prepare the training session and email the link to the Zoom Training Session participants.

• December 19th- 10am CST
• December 21st- 5:30pm CST

Our Texas/New Mexico staff has a workshop scheduled on December I9th-21st. Many of our staff would also be interested in this training program, consequently we have scheduled a training in January for our workers who are interested.

If for any reason the two dates in December will not work for those of you interested in becoming an advocate, you would be welcome to attend the session in January.

This process of using deacons and advocates is still new to us, and we know that it will grow and develop as we learn more. We are comforted by scriptural structure being followed. We hope and pray that there will never be a need that calls them into action. However, if the need arises, we feel better prepared to handle it.

Sincerely,

The Texas/New Mexico Staff

On Thursday 2 November 2023, a meeting was convened in Fermoy, Co Cork, Ireland at the request of certain of the friends to discuss issues relating to child sexual abuse (CSA) and sexual abuse (SA) within our fellowship in Ireland (both the Republic of Ireland (ROI) and Northern Ireland (NI), referred to in this document as Ireland). Two of the Irish brother workers (John Conley and Craig Fulton) together with 24 of the friends were in attendance. Some of those present were victims or family members of victims.

These notes are a summary of the main concerns raised and some of the rationale / discussion in relation to each concern, that were presented to the workers during such meeting. These notes also include suggested solutions / requested outcomes to address the concerns raised in the meeting. These notes are not an exhaustive summary of all matters discussed at the meeting which ran for some 3 hours.

Introduction

The meeting began with an introduction from the meeting organiser. 

Following this, Craig Fulton gave opening remarks during which he (among other things): 

• thanked everyone for coming;
• acknowledged that they (the workers) have received a lot of help and feel a great need of further help (and that is what is desired at the CSA / SA meeting);
• shared a personal anecdote regarding a family member who is a CSA victim (which he said helps him to understand the deep hurt experienced by both victims and families of victims);
• stated that he wishes to make it clear that we want to do all that we can to protect our children so they don’t go through the same experience;
• acknowledged things haven’t always been gotten right in the past and apologised for that and any hurt that has been caused as a result;
• noted that good progress and development has been made in recent times and this CSA / SA meeting will also contribute to the development of our policies;
• acknowledged that they (the workers) feel they must communicate more with friends and want to make all aware of what they can do and how they can help;
• stated that at the beginning of the upcoming special meetings, a document regarding child safety will be read out; and
• stated that there is a workers’ staff meeting in January 2024 to help staff understand what they can do to help and give them appropriate advice.

Following further opening remarks from the meeting organiser and another attendee, the Designated Liaison Person appointed in ROI gave a summary of procedure and practice in relation to CSA / SA in Ireland. This summary included, without limitation, an overview of the following (which are not covered in detail in this summary):

• the basis of the policy / practice (legislation and related guidance documents);
• reporting requirements and some information about reports / disclosures received – for example, that most disclosures aren’t first hand (i.e. they are made by someone other than the alleged victim); and most are in relation to retrospective abuse; 
• consideration of precautionary measures and safeguards; and
• sanctions – the Designated Liaison Person’s role is safeguarding children but any sanctions imposed may also be a response to justice or fellowship issues. It was noted that the issue of sanctions is highly complex. If changes are made in response to CSA / SA allegations, they could be because of child safeguarding issues (within the Designated Liaison Person’s remit), justice issues and / or fellowship issues (and that the overseer and other leaders may factor in other considerations that relate to fellowship before steps are taken / changes are made).

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WINGS Note: The pdf document below has details of concerns raised and ensuing discussion.
The following outcomes were documented:

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Note: The purpose of the CSA / SA meeting was to make the workers aware of / educate them regarding friends’ concerns about CSA / SA issues and the rationale for those concerns. The requested outcomes / next steps as set out below were either raised by friends expressly in the meeting, or (where they were not expressly raised in the meeting), have been included in these notes as suggested paths forward based on the concern and discussion on the relevant point in the CSA / SA meeting. 

A.           Child Safeguarding Statement / Policy and Procedures document (the Child Protection Policy)

The fellowship is required to have the above document pursuant to relevant regulations and guidelines in ROI and NI. It was most recently reviewed in January 2021 and is due for review in December 2023.

1.           That the Child Protection Policy be updated to reflect the role of bishops and other men and women within the church who can assist with managing the CSA / SA crisis.

2.           That additional Designated Liaison Persons or similar people to whom victims can approach (including women) be appointed or identified (and communicated to the friends and directly with children of friends in line with requested outcomes (16) and (17) below). 

3.           That (outside of the Child Protection Policy) consideration be given to an ongoing role that bishops and their wives, and other men and women within the fellowship who are willing to help, might have going forward in relation to handling the CSA / SA issues within our fellowship in Ireland. 

4.           That sister workers be more involved in handling the CSA / SA issues within our fellowship in Ireland (not just attending the mandatory training).

5.           That the Child Protection Policy be made directly available to all people within the fellowship within Ireland in hard copy in January 2024. Suggested route to achieve this is to give bishops sufficient copies for members of their Sunday morning meeting and to request that all bishops hand same out after the Sunday morning meeting.

6.           That consideration be given to the comments contained in the annotation provided when undertaking the upcoming review of the Child Protection Policy.

B.           Culture Change / Need for a Response

7.           That the fact there are serious CSA / SA issues within our fellowship be openly acknowledged.  

8.           That ‘top-down’, responsive and immediate action be led by the workers (with help and involvement from the friends) in relation the CSA / SA issues, so that the existing culture of acceptance in relation to CSA / SA issues becomes a thing of the past and history (of CSA / SA issues occurring but not being properly dealt with) does not repeat itself. It is suggested that continuing to engage with the friends and implementing the other suggested outcomes in these notes would be a good starting point.

C.           Zero Tolerance

9.           That consistent decisions be made in accordance with a clear set of rules going forward in relation to the attendance of alleged perpetrators at all meetings. In particular, please see requested outcomes (11) and (12) below. 

10.         That the Child Protection Policy (specifically the part that is to be publicly available) be updated to reflect the set of rules implemented in relation to requested outcome (9) above to provide accountability going forward. 

11.         That alleged abusers be prohibited from attending any meetings.

12.         That all members of the fellowship be made aware of the internal policy in relation to alleged perpetrators’ attendance at meetings (in line with requested outcome (16) below) and in particular if the decision made is to allow perpetrators to attend certain meetings (although it is strongly hoped that will not be the case), that members are made aware of an alleged perpetrator’s attendance at meetings.

13.         That no alleged abuser be permitted to have a place in the gospel work.

D.          Education and Training

14.         That the bishops and their wives attend a workers’ staff meeting in January 2024 at which (the meeting was told) training in relation to CSA / SA issues will be provided to workers (as a follow-on from training that has already been provided to workers).  

15.         That the request for open communication (in line with requested outcome (16) below) also factor in the need for the friends (and, directly, their children) to be made aware of who they can approach for help / support as needed. 

E.           Communication

16.         That there be ongoing and open communication with all members of the fellowship in relation to CSA / SA issues and the approach taken to remedy them as well as who can be approached for help. Again, the role of bishops in handing out written information to churches should be considered. 

17.         That going forward bishops (and their wives) be kept directly informed regarding alleged perpetrators and decisions made in relation to CSA / SA issues. 

F.           Victim Statements

18.         That going forward, any victim who approaches a worker, Designated Liaison Person, Designated Officer, Deputy Designated Liaison Person or Deputy Designated Officer (or anyone else appointed within the fellowship) with a statement regarding CSA / SA is believed by the person to whom the statement is made, and that that person takes all required action in relation to that statement. 

Closing remarks

• Many attendees thanked the workers for their attendance and shared words of encouragement to address these issues.
• Many attendees stated that they wished to help with these issues and the spirit of wanting to help was acknowledged by the workers.
• The workers noted that there is a long journey ahead and they want to be sure that what the workers start now is something that workers in the future, if time goes on, can reflect on and say that what was started is something of value. 
• An attendee made the remark that this is something we can unite on and grow stronger from.
• The meeting organiser thanked everyone for their attendance.