May 4, 2008
I am Jean. I wrote the story titled “Jean” located in the section called “Breaking the Silence” on WINGS. It was only when I was fighting cancer five years ago that I let my counselor know that I was molested by Ira from the time I was 8 to 15-16.
This is nothing that I would ever lie about. Why would I lie about it? What good would it do me? I wanted my Mother and Daddy to be proud of me and love me. I was terrified for years to say a word. I was blamed for the abuse and I have felt like a dirty dog. I was afraid that everybody would think it was a lie, and I would get sent away and cause shame to my family.
Writing my story was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I had to do it because of the continued abuse that is still in “the Truth” today. Ira has been sheltered for the last two years (since I wrote my first letter). No pedophile should be allowed in the work.
I want to thank those who believe me and have written me to and given me their support. Also those who are diligently helping to stop the child sexual abuse in “the truth.” And the people who have put in hours of work on the WINGS website. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My advice: Your children area gift from God. Love them with all your heart. Watch your children even when you trust those who are in your home. Check on them at night. Don’t let them go camping, unless you are with them. Don’t let them go on walks, drives, visits, work on homework, or participate in any activity where your innocent child is at risk for abuse. Sometimes the ones you love or trust the most are pedophiles.
My continued abuse through the years has caused numerous affects on me as a human being. I have no friends because I am afraid to trust. I feel like nobody loves me because I feel I am different and abnormal. I feel so stupid that I trusted Ira and that I ever thought he loved me. I don’t know how to act around people. I feel like a piece of trash because of my earlier promiscuity. It is very hard and sometimes impossible to pray. I don’t feel like God loves me like he does others. I feel very lonesome and scared. I have no self-esteem. I don’t know who I really am.
There is not a day goes by that I don’t cry, and at night I have panic attacks.Since I was 13, I have been to psychiatrists, therapists, preachers and read many self-help books; and I still have these feelings. I can’t go to therapy now, except to get my medications, because I am on Social Security due to breast cancer and depression that keeps me from working.
Is this what you want for your children? Then stand up for the safety of your children and the purity of your church. Write letters regarding your outrage to the Overseer of Texas—and write his overseer. Write WINGS a letter to post on their website expressing your thoughts about what needs to be done. Encourage others to be informed about child sexual abuse by reading the WINGS website. NO pedophile should be allowed to be a worker!
Pray for those who are helping to eliminate child molesters from the work in “the truth.” Pray that all the sexual abuse will be exposed–not just a little, but every bit of it.This is not limited to young children but to the older ones too.
I give permission for WINGSto post this letter on their website in: Letters From All Others
So sorry to hear about your predicament following your abuses, Jean. I would be your friend♥️
You are not as alone as you feel, Jean. But I know the feelings very well. There is so much work and heartache involved in recovering. I too would be your friend.
There is a purging going on right now which I believe is from God.