Tag: child sexual abuse

18 August 2023

Dear Australian and New Zealand Co-workers, Elders and Friends,

Thank you to everyone for your response to our letter of 1 July 2023, regarding the prevention of child sexual abuse. We appreciate your patience as we work to address these issues in a measured and sensitive way and feel it is now important to provide you with an update.

We have communicated our zero tolerance with respect to the harming of children, young people, or anyone within our fellowship and have begun actions to support this stance. The impact of child sexual abuse is devastating and far reaching. Our thoughts are with each one of you who have been affected.

Since we last wrote to you, work has commenced to develop a standard policy and approach towards child sexual abuse prevention and survivor support. An advisory group consisting of 16 individuals from Australia and New Zealand has been formed to undertake this work. This advisory group includes members with lived experience of child sexual abuse and those who have supported survivors. It includes members with experience in child safety and protection, child safe compliance, vulnerable persons advocacy, psychology, counseling, and mental health. Several members hold professional roles including in risk avoidance and quality compliance, policy development and corporate governance. The group includes ten females, three workers, elders, and elders’ wives. A broad age range is represented.

The advisory group’s role, is to provide advice to the ministry, focusing on child safety and survivor support, drawing on personal and professional experience, sourcing assistance from specialist experts, external resources and professional bodies as required. Consultation and engagement will be needed from time to time, for example the voice of our parents and our young people will be critical.

The advisory group will also rely upon reputable, published material, expert bodies’ formal guidelines and relevant research that is publicly accessible, to provide advice that is grounded in best practice and will operate fully within the bounds of the law. Australian national child safety standards and New Zealand child safety guidelines will form the basis of the review of current child safety practices and guide development of improvements within our fellowship.

The identity of advisory group members will remain confidential, and they will not be providing direct engagement with the broader fellowship. Member confidentiality is important for the protection of survivors within the group, and to enable the group to focus on this important work in an impartial manner without external pressure or distraction. We will be looking at mechanisms to provide additional support to survivors in future.

All members of the advisory group completed independently recognised training on the prevention of child sexual abuse and advisory group level training. In addition, all members have obtained and provided current Working with Children Checks or Children’s Worker Safety Checks and police clearances.

The scope of work to be completed is large and will take time to develop and implement. The advisory group has commenced a risk assessment to determine the areas of highest risk so these can be given immediate attention.

We appreciate each one of you who have encouraged and supported us to move forward in addressing concerns about management of child safety and survivor support. We thank each one who has approached us with concerns about individual situations. We have had to make some difficult and firm decisions to mitigate risks to children and will continue to do so.

We understand that it will take time to restore your trust and we feel inadequate in addressing these issues but commit to working openly and transparently on preventing and responding to child sexual abuse. The advisory group will be valuable in guiding us however we will need the support of each one of you to progress.

We acknowledge processes may take longer than some may wish. We expect to update you in the next month and will continue to communicate with you as the work progresses and we have further matters to address.

We thank you for your efforts in supporting each other and any survivors who no longer feel able to meet with us in fellowship.

Warm regards and encouragement

Malcolm Clapham, Graeme Dalton, Wayne Dean, Trevor Joll, Alan Mitchell and Alan Richardson.

Australia: Get support | National Office for Child Safety or 24/7 support on 1800 737 732

New Zealand: https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/listing-information-support-resources-child-abuse or 24/7 support on 0508 326 459

---

WINGS Note: This letter was issued 18th August by workers to elders for distribution.

8/17/2023

*URGENT* In the Name of Christ, we MUST focus on Victims*

To the overseer and workers in the States of CA/AZ/NV/HI:

For over 100 years we have silenced victims of sexual crimes in our faith. We have even regretted their existence, since acknowledging them was inconvenient, and to do so would shine an unfavorable light on the ministry and its response to sexual crimes. Most of the time, we didn’t know them or know anything about their lifetime of hemorrhaging emotional pain. These victims have hidden quietly, taking on blame and shame that never, ever belonged to them. Your lack of action in protecting the church from predators (including serial predators who were not permanently removed) has created an endless supply of innocent potential victims, a long list of survivors, and an ever-growing list of families who have left fellowship.

The victim in Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan wouldn’t have existed without a victimizer. Please reflect on that for a moment. Jesus was asking us to be like the Good Samaritan. What if, rather than focusing on the life and care of the victim in Luke 10, the Good Samaritan had instead focused on tending to the thieves and robbers who violated the victim and left him for dead? That wouldn’t make sense to us, would it? And yet, here we are.

Recent Consequences of Violator-Focused Actions:

Recently in Nevada, an individual with a long history of grooming behaviors and sexual abuse allegations was quickly reintegrated back into meetings after being asked not to attend. It seems there is an urgency to rush offenders back into fellowship even before there is an understanding of Child Sexual Abuse, Sexual Abuse and the lifelong trauma a victim will carry. It is also apparent that there is a lack of understanding of the predatory tactics offenders employ to gain access to victims. These grooming behaviors often hinge upon the trusting and welcoming nature of victims’ families. To quote a predator who was a minister, “I considered church people easy to fool…they have a trust that comes from being Christians…They tend to be better folks all around. And they seem to want to believe in the good that exists in all people…I think they want to believe in people. And because of that, you can easily convince, with or without convincing words.”

At about the same time the individual in Nevada was reintegrated, 14 families (11 with fellowship meetings in their homes) in Arizona chose to leave the fellowship. Was it the result of an offender being rushed back in to fellowship, or the sense of betrayal they felt as it came to light how the ministry had mishandled sexual abuse and covered up sexual crimes in the past? Is there the same urgency to reach out to these 14 families as there was to assess and reintegrate one offender back into a fellowship meeting?

It is time that we stop welcoming back offenders and protecting known predators (which only encourages the unknown ones). If offenders now considered “low risk” had been reported at the time their crimes were committed, they would have been arrested, dealt with through the criminal justice system (many having to register as sex offenders for life – known as a 288 registrant) and most importantly, served jail time.

A truly repentant sexual offender who has developed insight into how their actions have impacted and continue to impact others would quietly accept alternative arrangements for fellowship away from children and other victims.

Finally, it is time that we learn how to identify predators, take steps to educate parents and the ministry, listen to victims and recognize the danger of keeping secrets about wolves lingering amongst the sheep.

If there is any effort, if there is any time, if there is any money to be given, we MUST give it all to our long-suffering and deserving victims to carry them to the inn and preserve their lives. We must let the offending workers, elders and other violators just BE with the consequences of their actions while we focus on a multitude of victims. Spiritually and psychologically, this is an essential part of any victimizer’s repentant and reflective process. We hope that you all want to make appropriate choices. We also believe that all of you do not have the information that you need to do this. We are here to help you.

Our group of Mental Health professionals includes Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors, Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Licensed Clinical Psychologists; we have Masters of Clinical Social Work, Masters of Clinical Psychology, Doctorates of Social Work and PhDs in Clinical Psychology.

The writers of this letter have professional experience/specialization in:

1. Child Advocacy Center therapy and advocacy
2. Adult, child and adolescent counseling
3. Marriage and family counseling
4. Trauma and intergenerational trauma counseling
5. Sex therapy
6. Art therapy
7. PTSD and C-PTSD treatment
8. School psychology and child development
9. Addiction counseling
10. Adoption social work and attachment-based therapies
11. Inpatient mental health and addiction treatment
12. General Social Work practice
13. Victim Services
14. Sex offender treatment
15. Domestic and sexual violence advocacy
16. Organizational leadership and education

What you need to know about predators:

1. Sex offender treatment is largely ineffective, and the best outcome is remission of behavior, not cure of the urge to offend. A truly repentant and rehabilitated perpetrator would never seek to re-join a meeting but would voluntarily stay out of meetings in order to avoid temptation and to avoid making anyone uncomfortable.
2. Perpetrators have groomed everyone around them, so supportive testimony from elders/friends/workers on their behalf is not valid. (Recently in the U.S., some local friends/elders vouched for offender(s) to be at convention with children and other victims). No one can accurately predict or identify offenders by observing them! It is not possible for an overseer or another layperson to discern whether someone is not a threat or has been rehabilitated. That is an informal assessment that would not hold up under professional evaluation.
3. Sexual predators have often used words that mimic the heart of God to indicate repentance, but their actions mimic what is in their hearts. Their words cannot be trusted. It is much safer to bring the meeting to them (workers and friends who want to meet with them), than bring them into an already established meeting. Though perpetrators may have repented spiritually, Godly repentance shouldn’t be used to escape the consequences of these sins which are also crimes. Some who have offended were never reported, so they have never faced consequences from the criminal justice system.
4. Types of Predators: 1. Shark (opportunist with no plan, goes for any blood in the water); 2. Snake (deliberate, strategic); 3. Spider (grooms, then spins webs); 4. Fox (looks like the nice guy, the helper, then waits and watches to catch prey).

In our professional opinion, the following actions are discouraged and potentially unsafe:

• Risk assessments. Risk assessments should not be used to determine whether an offender can attend fellowship meetings. Alternate arrangements should be made to meet with offenders outside of fellowship meetings.
• Making decisions about offenders. Do not rely on overseers, workers, elders, and non-specialized mental health professionals who are not qualified to make decisions about predators and the level of danger they pose to the church.
• Do not cold-call victims unless they have asked to be contacted by you.
• Do not use Bible verses in communicating to faith members/victims about abuse or forgiveness. It may be triggering to them and it weaponizes the Bible. Refrain from using terms such as “spirit led” in communication to faith members/victims. This action effectively shuts people down from expressing their voice because the person quoting verses is attempting to establish spiritual and moral authority.
• Do not end conversations with “We will pray about it.” At this point, we are all praying about it. There is also much that we each need to be doing about it. This phrase has been used to shut down voices calling for timely action.
• Do not use the phrase “We had no idea / We didn’t know” about the lifetime impacts of sexual violation of children. Everyone understands rape or sexual abuse of any kind is wrong and has always been wrong! People who have experienced these abuses have gone on to experience a lifetime of negative consequences that have impacted communication, learning, relationships, physical health, mental health, addiction, etc., with some coming to see suicide as their only option. In some instances, the negative impacts of abuse have been weaponized by workers to judge the victims as “unworthy, sinful, unreliable or unstable.” Some victims have been ex-communicated, silenced in meetings, or otherwise marginalized in our faith.
• Do not assume that taking Ministry Safe or the Little Warriors program is “one and done.” Those courses are just the beginning of your understanding and education, and do not begin to cover the extensive knowledge one must have to be a safe and ethical ministry and faith. They are not an insurance policy guaranteeing safety.
• Do not consider crimes that happened “a long time ago” (5,10, 20, 50 years ago) as grounds to allow a perpetrator to continue attending meetings. Just because a crime happened “years ago” does not mean there are no victims. The probability that sexual predators will reoffend actually increases with time! If a crime that happened historically would be charged as a crime today, then it is a crime regardless of the passage of time.
• Do not use intimidation tactics when meeting with victims. When workers are meeting with victims, there should not be one victim and several workers (never meet with a victim alone). The victim must be allowed to have an advocate(s) of their choice to support them. Workers have used their position of power to intimidate, threaten, coerce, silence and shame victims. We have heard of victims called to sessions where workers/overseers have had victim(s) sitting in a chair in front of a group of workers. We have heard of an overseer refusing to meet with a victim because he didn’t want the victim’s choice of support people to attend. It is also not appropriate for brother workers to ask to meet with sisters alone about a matter. This is intimidation and abuse of power and control.

Recommendations for going forward:

• Learn about predators by accessing any of the resources below.
• Direct all internal investigations to a third-party organization like GRACE.
• Reach out to members of our faith who have removed themselves from fellowship or the work because others made unsafe and spiritually unsound decisions to move perpetrators and persons with allegations back into fellowship. This is a time to be humble, repentant and open to correction and feedback from wounded members.
• Discontinue any more emailed or published letters and reports from overseers that deflect responsibility, essentially say nothing, deliver platitudes with obtuse language (including religiosity) and appear as though they are written behind a legal shield separating overseers from the church (especially victims).
• Consult with other churches for guidance in ministering to perpetrators separate from the church.
• Restorative justice and the reconciliation process for perpetrators can be addressed AFTER there has been “victim focused” progress. We must pause any focus on restorative justice and the reconciliation processes until after the victims have been heard and cared for and policies developed around safety in the fellowship.
• Identify and implement training regarding Child Sexual Abuse, Sexual Abuse, trauma informed care, and grooming/predatory risk factors. There are areas in the U.S. that have developed comprehensive curriculum for workshops to train staff and elders. Consider reaching out to them for best practices in this process and ask for professional collaboration to assist with training.
• Establish and foster a collaborative relationship with Advocates for the Truth in the work they are doing to help make our fellowship safer.

We strongly encourage using the following resources:

Websites:

• 6 Principles for Guarding Churches Against Predators – CBE International
• Sex, Lies, and Sex Offenders – Part 1
• Sex, Lies, and Sex Offenders – Part 2

Books:

• Predators by Anna Salter
• People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck
• The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker (Modules available on YouTube)
• Safe People by Cloud and Townsend
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD (also YouTube videos)

Sincerely,

Professing Therapists Group
(Note: We are writing anonymously in order to protect our clients and careers that may be negatively impacted by our names appearing publicly.)

(Name withheld, available on request), Retired, FBI Special Agent

(Name withheld, available on request) MBBS (Hons 1) FRACP PhD GCELead GAICD
Physician
Professor of Medicine
(Internationally regarded clinical and research expertise on the long term consequences of complex trauma and CSA)

Dear Friends,

As host of the Cassatt, SC Convention, we wish to inform you of guidelines pertaining to our 2023 Convention.

Please remember that we all are guests of the convention grounds owners throughout preparation and convention. This is a non – commercial event held on private property and is only open to invited guests. We want our behavior to be what it should be – appropriate, respectful, and safe. We are happy to voluntarily provide the location for Cassatt, SC convention to be held. We, however, are taking a zero-tolerance approach to any kind of behavior that is not appropriate. Any such allegations will be taken seriously and reported to proper authorities. We hope by adhering to these guidelines all will feel safe, welcome, and our time together will be profitable.

Convicted and alleged CSA and SA offenders are not invited. If anyone sees such a person, please inform the hosts of the convention. As far as we know, there have not been any incidents here of this kind.

Due to liability issues, there will be no sleeping dorms provided as has been the norm in past years. You may bring a RV/camper, tent, or stay off grounds at night. There are a limited number of camping sites with electric and water hookups for RV/campers. These will be made available to residents of South Carolina residing farther than a 50 mile radius from convention grounds. There will be additional spaces for fully contained RV/campers and tents with no hookups. There will be no RESERVING camper sites. They are available on a first come basis. PLEASE do not arrive with RV/campers and tents before Wednesday October 4th.

All minors must have a Parent or Parent-designated adult/guardian responsible for them at ALL times when on convention property. (BY LAW A MINOR IS ANY PERSON UNDER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS)

We all must be concerned and invested with the safety of all present.

Sincerely, Charlie and Paulette

Dear Friends,
Attached are some guidelines we have been considering for dealing with CSA child sexual abuse and SA sexual abuse.
We think one of our sisters expressed our feelings well when she wrote:

We are thinking of you all these days. We all have been grieved and concerned in recent months about incidences of CSA (child sexual abuse) and SA (sexual abuse) that have come to light among us, and about how these things have been mishandled in the past.

We feel it is helpful to set forth clear guidelines as to what is and is not acceptable. These guidelines can clarify our united expectations of how CSA and SA will be handled going forward. ABOVE ALL we want to support victims of past abuse and work to prevent future abuse.

We also think of our friends who so willingly host conventions and other meetings, and understand that having written guidelines can help protect them legally. We appreciate every home that is open for our friends to meet together and want to do all we can to ensure the safety of each person in every situation.

With all these considerations in mind, some of our friends with professional expertise—in consultation with workers and with other friends—have put together the attached “Regional Guidelines for Preventing and Responding to Sexual Abuse.” We appreciate the effort that has been put into this. We are glad that these guidelines fit into not only the laws of our land but also the laws of basic decency. Above all else, we want to fit into the law of love that Jesus taught us.

We know that the greatest guidelines of all are summarized in the two greatest commandments. In Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” As Jesus also said (vs. 40), all the rest of the law (every commandment, guideline, etc.) hangs on these two commandments.

We long for this to be so, and that as we each are united individually to Christ the head, the whole body will be knit together more and more closely in love.

With care,

NC/VA/MD/DE Staff

---

WINGS Note: We have consolidated the six documents distributed by the NC/VA/MD/DE Staff into one pdf file.

Regional Guidelines for CSA_SA_08-16-2023.pdf

1_General CSA_Information__Resources_(Regional).pdf

2_Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) Info & Resources (Regional).pdf

3_Sexual Abuse (SA) Info & Resources for Adults (Regional).pdf

4_Overview and Hotlines (Regional).pdf

5_Offenders & Perpetrators (Regional).pdf

---

August 10, 2023

Dear BC Staff and Province,

We have enjoyed special days together and have a few more left here at Glen Valley #2.

We want to bring to your attention an incident we were notified of today (August 10th). David Jayaraj, a visiting brother worker from India has allegations of indiscretions with adult women and unverified CSA allegations. These allegations that have been brought to our attention have not been from his time here in BC but rather from India.

David’s convention tour prematurely terminated with this news and he is returning to India on a flight that left this afternoon (August 10) from Seattle.

Although we have set policies in place to mitigate these types of concerns, we unfortunately were not aware of these allegations prior to David’s attendance at Salmon Arm and Duncan convention.

Please reach out to someone you trust if there has been any boundaries have been crossed or if you have any additional information to share.

Sincerely, Merlin

---

WINGS Note: See initial post at Indian worker removed from Olympia, WA convention

Meeting guidelines for people with Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) and/or Sexual Abuse (SA) allegations against them in Ontario. August 2023

The goal of this guideline is that children and adults feel safe and comfortable in our meetings and social gatherings.

This guideline sets limitations that we have established.

• You are permitted to attend fellowship meetings where each person in the meeting approves of you being there. Do not attend any meeting if you know one of your victims will be present. If one of your victims arrives at a meeting where you are, you must leave immediately.
• Appropriate contact after meeting means only a handshake if minors and their parents/guardians approve.
• Do not make any physical advances, or make any remarks about attire, appearance, or sexuality. These types of remarks are unwelcome, inappropriate, and unacceptable.
• This includes interactions with adults as well as with minors.
• If children are present, when “after meeting greetings” are finished, do not linger in the room or outside. Go to your vehicle and leave.
• If you are planning to attend a meeting that is not your regular one, call to ask permission, first stating that some limitations have been placed on you.
• If you are planning a trip outside the province, contact the workers in your field. They will contact the workers at your destination. If the area you are visiting does not allow attendance of those with CSA or SA allegations, do not attend.
• If attending special meetings, you must always be accompanied by someone who is aware of the allegations against you, and all restrictions placed on you. Be sure none of your victims will be present.
• Do not put yourself in any situation where someone could question your behaviour.

Failure to comply with these requests may result in all meeting privileges being revoked.

---

Dear Friends, Aug. 2023

We would like to address Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) and Sexual Abuse (SA) claims that have been raised amongst us. These situations have caused much distress for many people. These feelings of distress are valid. Claims have been raised against some ministers and congregants alike. We are reaching out to organizations for guidance regarding how to help those who have been affected in a time when issues like these were not handled according to today’s standards.

We are thankful for professionals who are helping us become more educated. We have become aware of various aspects of CSA: that there is lifelong damage to victims (in many cases without the understanding of anyone else); that the trauma they experience can take years to manifest itself; and that there may be a need for therapy and/or counselling. We are also learning about the ways of the abuser. We respect those who have been harmed among us and want to learn how to meet their great need for understanding, compassion, and care.

The most important message we would like to convey is our deep sorrow and regret that victims have had to carry a burden for years when what they really needed was the liberty to speak and be heard. We now understand that being heard is an essential step in the healing process. Going forward we want to be part of the solution not part of the problem. We want to do all we can to create a safer environment for all in our fellowship. We are aware of the need to continue learning how to respond properly to any report of child sexual abuse and how to support and direct victims of sexual abuse to sources of professional help for the purpose of healing. We would like to learn how to listen and how to have empathy for victims who are ready to talk. Professionals have made us aware that it is important to respect the timing of when victims want to talk. The proper time is when the survivor chooses to talk.

To help prevent and detect child sexual abuse we have taken and will continue to require each member of our staff to complete the Ministry Safe training course every two years. This course is very helpful and is available for anyone to take.

We do encourage anyone who suspects or is aware of a child or youth under 16 years of age being abused to report it. It is the legal duty of every adult to report his/her concern to a Children’s Aid Society (Child Welfare Worker) in the area where the abuse occurred or to the police (911). You may remain anonymous when making your report if you prefer. (See numbers for your area on separate page.) Anyone who reports abuse should keep his/her own updated notes with details of the who, why, when, and where of the incident that gave rise to the report. We encourage you to be educated on these topics. We encourage parents to be educated about CSA and to educate their children. It is highly recommended that parents watch the parent training video by Ministry Safe that can be found at ministrysafe.com/onlinetrainings under the Parent/Guardian tab.

Throughout Ontario, there are Sexual Assault Centres: www.sadvtreatmentcentres.ca

If you are an adult victim, here is a victim support line in Ontario: 1-888-579-2888

Some other helpful Websites: www.protectchildren.ca

Talking for Change is a Canadian helpline for those seeking support with feelings of attraction towards children: www.talkingforchange.ca

The Ontario Staff

August 5, 2023

These are paraphrased notes from my own attendance. They are meant to give a general overview, and not to be verbatim.

(W)-Richard DenHerder, Doyle Smith, Rob Newman, Darryl Doland

(C)- congregation- around 100 people from around the region, including Alaska. Also several workers not speaking.

Hymn 240

W-Thank you for coming. There are a lot of things to talk about, but the focus will be on the process of choosing an overseer for Washington. One thing we’ve thought about in the last few months is that we want to hear more from people. We haven’t been listening enough. If we listen to more people we could make better choices. We called you to help us. I hope you understand that choosing isn’t a democratic process, it’s a spiritual process. Be careful that we all pray about it and that it’s scriptural and respectful. I’ve been in V the last 8 years and I love it there. But I love Washington, too. I’m torn between the 2 places. I want it to be God’s choice. If I say strong things about what I prefer, that isn’t the spirit of God. Jesus said “Not my will…” that’s the basis for every good thing that happens for us. We’re going to leave the meeting open for people to ask questions. We hope and pray God chooses the overseer and it becomes evident to these other 3. Be considerate of each other. There are lots of ideas among us, so give as much time to as many people as possible. If you want to talk to any of us individually, or a general question.

C-Why is a democratic selection not spiritual?

W-The potential downfall of a democratic selection is that we’re choosing our favorites. We don’t want human favorites. If I was democratically chosen, I wouldn’t want that. I want it to be God’s anointing.

C- God works in each of us. We’ve seen where individuals/small groups can fall short. Allowing God to work in each of our hearts, His word can influence each heart…the less likely a single individual will harm the work of God. God working through as many people. The bigger the group that has something laid on their hearts, the more likely it won’t be a favorite, but God’s working.

C- Why are you 3 part of the choosing committee? Scripture doesn’t back the behavior of the overseers here. No one has defined the job description. Overseers have left the role of serving. We have no idea how overseers are chosen, and most of us have been a part of fellowship for our whole lives. The majority of overseers have been abusers or have other things that disqualify them from the overseer position and the work and that includes you 3. How do we address the corruption when the corrupt are in charge? Some of us believe you 3 should step down and others should follow.

W-Have you talked to these men about these accusations?

C-There has been no repentance or assuming of their responsibility for this mess.

W- Let’s make a rule about dealing with things like Matt 18.

C-l agree. I think we’re in the time where this is before the church. I have talked to RN on the phone. I have gone with witnesses to MH. Right now these are the grievances of the church to them. We are past a secret meeting and this is time for them to answer before everyone.

W-What does everyone think? Should we go to other questions? Not everyone? Ok. What do you say?

W-Doesn’t understand oversight or God’s process.

C-You’re claiming to be a part of God’s process, when you’ve been a part of the corruption? This is serious! We are saying that if this can’t be fixed, we can’t be a part of this church. We want it cleansed with repentance and restoration. We haven’t heard any repentance before the church.

W-ln the worst case scenario, do you think the Lord can overrule?

C-l believe in the power of God. I think God is revealing this and we’re all responsible now.

C-Concern about the behaviors we’ve been hearing about. When I heard RD might be overseer, I researched and was very concerned. (List of accused overseers). What was the process of them being overseers? Some process put these men in charge. They have done horrible things that have torn people’s lives apart. We are asking hard questions because this can’t happen again. How is it going to be different this time?

W-l haven’t ever been involved in the process. I’m a young overseer. I don’t feel able. I don’t want a vote. This isn’t about choosing a king, it’s about choosing the most humble, worthy servant. Jesus said that the greatest among you is a servant, not the one that exercises authority. Samuel was asked to anoint David, he didn’t know it was going to be David. God only told him it would be one of Jesse’s sons. No one would accuse Samuel of being corrupt. He thought it would be the oldest son, and God said “no”. God looks at the heart. These are just words, it takes actions to convince anybody. The desperate prayer of our heart is that God’s will is done. I have made mistakes in the last year, but that is my desperate prayer, especially now. They didn’t even bring David, because it was obvious to everyone else he wouldn’t be the man. It makes human logic a scary thing. I don’t want a vote…we want a unanimous vote of 1 -0 that it’s God’s decision. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have confidence that God answers prayers. Everyone here has prayed about this. God is more concerned than we are that this is right. Our united prayer is that God will overrule and will make the decision. We respect your input, that’s why we’re here. What’s happening in Washington is unprecedented… we’re talking to everyone on the staff, we’ve invited people to come…if they’re anything known that would affect a decision for positive or negative…   that’s why we’re trying to communicate. We respect God’s feelings the most.

C-l appreciate the comments about process. There was a process for how we were picked for our place. When I sin I can’t blame the process.

C-The requirement of a steward is that he is just and faithful. Ex. Elijah He built the alter of sacrifice from the ground up. He put his faith and life on the line for what he believed in. That’s what we’re looking for. Unjust steward-Jesus said he would lose his place. Influencing others to be unjust is even graver. An unjust steward isn’t trusted with riches and is misrepresenting truth. He embodies a false witness and a false minister. That’s what we’re concerned about. Some are boycotting, or have asked for meetings to be taken out of their home. This is a worldwide problem. We want a just steward.

C-We have had our trust rocked. How can we trust that you’re going to do the right thing? Story of his daughter on the trail at Olympia convention, nearly raped by a brother worker.

C- I’m here for the victims. Our trust has been broken for generations. Heartbroken for the honest workers. Been in combat and in bunkers, but I’ve never been as scared as I am right now. The people in charge need to step down. A pedophile under treatment was put in my home. Not acceptable. A company that has someone with something that goes wrong….they step down or are made to step down. They have lost confidence. Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s complicity. God gave us brains…there are decisions easy to make that God doesn’t need to be a part of. It scares me to have DD put in a position where there is so much corruption, because I care about him. Any worker that tried to silence a victim or cover up behavior needs to step down.

C-This is once in a lifetime… an unseated overseer. Elders need to share things with their meetings. That is divisive. Fears about DS orchestrating things. Fears about RD being the next overseer. (RD said Milltown was the first he’d heard of himself being an overseer consideration). All we can do is pray. Mentioned cases of 2 former workers (one OR and one CA) who evidently had relationships while in the work.

W-With a CSA allegation, everyone needs to know. That wasn’t the case with the OR former brother.

C- When we find out that workers use our WIFI and resources to carry on affairs, it breaks our hearts and our trust. We deserve to know that. If I have an affair, I am asked not to take part, so why are we being secretive about workers stepping out of line. If there are things happening in my home, I deserve to know. All we want is an apology saying “I’m not __, but  he was a part of my staff and I’m so sorry for what he did.”

W-l AM sorry. That’s why he’s not active. I don’t blame people for having broken trust. If we’re who we claim to be, you should be able to trust us.

C-Term limits for overseers…  5/6/10 years….to have accountability and be reviewed at the end of the term. Will GRACE program help streamline communication if there is a situation with workers in your field or if the workers felt uncomfortable in a home… so new workers aren’t coming into a field not knowing what’s happening in that field. And so people in the field can make wise choices about who comes into their homes. Sheep can’t settle when there is a wolf among them. We’ve seen lots of wolf behavior and we can’t settle until the wolf is gone.

W-We acknowledge the problems. We’ve heard and we believe and we’re working to rectify them as much as possible. Let’s talk about CSA for a little while. It’s on our minds. Here’s what we’re doing right now:

1. I will go and talk to as many victims as will talk to me and I’ll apologize to them. I’ll ask if there is anything we can do to help them.
2. Educating staff-everyone has taken the Ministry Safe program…a place to start.
3. We are looking into GRACE program. Early next week we will make a decision. GRACE is a company that takes care of issues in churches. They give a number that you can call for reporting. Info goes to a panel of professional people. Can the panel have 3rd party and some of our own people? Probably will be all 3rd party. They will be able to see patterns. Be able to identify and deal with things sooner. They will teach staff so they know how to report. Because we’re not trained we can say things that shut victims down. We call the police and ask questions later. We aren’t qualified to do this work.
4. We’ve started a victim fund.

Sometimes because we don’t say that we acknowledge the problem, it’s assumed that we don’t know. We know. I have someone close to home who is a victim-survivor. We feel personal commitment to do something about this. Other states are looking at what we’re doing and want to be a part of it. It’s making children and vulnerable people safer in WA and around the globe.

C-l see a bishop and an elder in scripture. With wives and families. Financial problems, marriage problems, neighbor problems…these get elevated to workers…maybe elders need lifted up to help carry the burden of things they understand. AKAA/A/NID is too big. There is no way that all the emails can be responded to when the area is too big. If there isn’t a process for an overseer in the scripture, maybe it’s not meant to have an overseer. I am not a supporter of GRACE. I don’t want a corporation dealing with our problems…! want it to be one of my brothers. Maybe pause the whole process and work on things that need to be worked on. God can lead us.

C-Saying you’re doing something for the victims, but leaving predators in the meetings. Story of current case in AK. Our meetings are for fellowship and worship, not for people to be there to pick off kids. That is prudence, not unforgiveness. God can work with them outside the camp.

C-This is my 3rd time being led astray so my trust is zero. If I build my foundation on particles of rock, it will fall. My only hope is in the solid rock of Jesus.

C-We’re here because we care. There’s no question we have a serious problem. God burned Sodom. God flooded in Noah’s time. This is serious. We’re thankful DD has listened and taken action. “I don’t hear what you say because what you do speaks so loudly.” What we do   matters. “It’s all about the fruit.” Bad fruit has been exposed. This is systemic. We got away from Christ and there is a lot of tradition and man’s doctrine in the way. We need the fundamentals of our salvation. We’re watching walk. The light is shown on ourselves as much as on our ministry. Be courageous in what we do. “Shine the light brightly”…if you don’t know what’s going on, shame on you. Have discernment. Is it the strongest personality that chooses the overseer? The ones with the most authority? I’ve known DD since he went into the ministry…   he’s thoughtful and led by God…he has the ability to make decisions and we’ve seen his actions. This is an important decision. Shepherd’s lead from the rear…if there’s trouble, they go to the front. That’s the servant we need.

C-I’m convinced this is the true way of God. Satan is working overtime. God is in control. My faith and trust aren’t shaken, but my heart hurts.

C-l support GRACE. In the military, the wing man is just as guilty as the perp. They had a separate out-of-the-chain-of-command number for reporting. It’s easier to reach out to a faceless number. Try to be less wrong…it might have been right yesterday, but when we know better, we need to improve. Comparing the incomparable: why are CSA/SA treated differently (less strictly) than divorce and remarriage/pregnancy out of wedlock/etc. Every sin is equal to God, but not in the safety of man. Our priorities are wrong. Some sins are dealt with in the light of day, and then there’s effort to hide other sins or bring pedophiles back to meeting. This destroys generations of families. ..it’s not less important than someone cheating on their spouse or fornication. Priorities need changed.

C-What assurance do we have that you will step down if something goes wrong in your leadership? 800 signatures on a letter didn’t bring an acknowledgment or any change. One worker even changed his email.

W-lt’s God’s way. If God has withdrawn his spirit from me, I can’t go on. God made it clear that he is cleaning house and is in control. I’ll be out the door if his spirit goes away. The reality of an overseer is humility. Hannah put Samuel with the mess of Eli and his sons. God kept Samuel. God removed the problem with a little finger in one day. Jesus was strong when people were getting in the way of the little ones. God sees what’s going on. We are trying to do our part and be God-led. We believe in laying on of hands…Godly men saying God has chosen someone. It has to be God’s choice. Prayers are the most powerful thing here. God owns this whole project. It’s within his realm to solve the problems. We want to involve elders more.

W-Ditto. These are just words…it takes a life. I wouldn’t have chosen to be where I am. I wouldn’t have the courage to be here if God wasn’t involved. He knows if what I’m saying is true. If God removed his blessing, it would be impossible.

W-l feel the same way. If misbehavior on my part is so much that God takes his spirit away, I would step down. Absolutely.

C-Are you accountable to each other? If you are making bad decisions, the thought is that the spirit is not with you. Would you not be seared to the working of the spirit in yourself?

W-Yes, we’re accountable to one another.

C-What is the difference between laying on of hands and voting?

W-Jesus chose and Jesus sent. Those with age/experience are looked to. The choosing and anointing is the critical part. It’s not just people choosing. People feel moved by God to say “this is the one”

C-Scripture for that?

W-Just… laying on of hands

C-Are there only certain workers anointed by God? Couldn’t more workers have an say…not just 3 workers.

W-Are there serious concerns we don’t know about? That’s why we’re here. We trust that the right decision will be made, but if the wrong decision is made, we trust that God will correct that also.

C-ls 800 people signing a letter not a sign from God to step down?

C-20 people in CA asked you to step down. What would it take?

W-God’s leading,   f you don’t want to come to our meetings, that’s your choice. We feel like God is still with us. We have peace continuing in the way we were chosen.

C- Where in the Bible does it talk about overseers?

W-Samuel was a prophet, but the people wanted a king. Peter stood up…he wasn’t perfect..he was moved. It went from Peter to James without conflict or competition. In Jn 21 Jesus wanted Peter to love him. A true overseer loves Jesus and wants to follow the scripture.

C-So there isn’t any scripture to back up an overseer.

W-l feel there is.

W-Acts 1 says “bishop” but the actual translation is “overseer”.

C-We can want an overseer, but it does not say in the Bible that there is an overseer. That’s us putting our desires on it.

W-l can’t say I agree. There is a worldwide blessing and work without any person directing it.

C-This has made the roots go deeper for me. The common thing is abuse…a difference in power…one is stronger. Techniques of abusers… deceit, manipulation, lies. Half truths are some of the most dangerous lies. Foundation of love wouldn’t let me go, but also a bunch of traditions that are perfect for abusive relationships. I’m glad we’re finally having a discussion. There is false humility that is just pride.

C-My faith isn’t shaken, but there’s a lot of hurt. I live with victims. Finish with joy and satisfaction. I don’t want to lose my brothers. The injury to victims lasts a lifetime and goes generation to generation.

C-Don’t quit praying because you got comfortable tonight.

C-l take responsibility as an elder’s wife that until this year, I didn’t pray about an overseer being chosen. The difference for me, is I am using my responsibility to pray now.

C-To the elders on behalf of survivors: Be careful, because meeting isn’t a safe place for some right now. Scripture is being used to hurt people. Don’t insist that people come to meeting, convention and gospel meetings. Pray for your meetings. If people are taking a break, reach out with love and concern, but just ask “How can I support you?”

W-Thank you, everyone. Lots of pain and confusion here. It’s useful to understand the magnitude of what’s going on and the pain so we can have compassion for each other. When dealing with our pain, realize that other people process their pain differently than we do. I feel inspired, even though this is heavy. You all care enough to be here. It takes courage. It’s not as important that we all agree, but that we all have care for each other and are praying for each other. I will be praying for you.

July 27-28, 2023

Pre-work. Each member of our staff was expected to complete work prior to the workshop.

• Read: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and The Servant

• Read: The Thin Book of Trust (if possible)

• Review MN/IA CSA policy

• Ensure completion of the Ministry Safe module (this is required every 2 years)

Staff Attendees (23): Lucille Anderson, David Bergh, Janet Bergman, Sandra Boettcher, Kyle Bredesky, Melissa Chardeen, Shan Connelly, Dean Dykstra, Maria Freesemann, Skyler Gartin, Ashley Hoseth, Andrea Jensen, Patricia Johnson, LaVerna Kleffman, Jake Nelson, Kara Plesek, Miranda Quick, Aunika Schraw, John Simons, Loran Skaw, Shari Stamps, Ron Thomke, Mary Weeda

Visitors (S): Darryl Doland (WA/N Idaho/AK). Craig Winquist (AR/MO/OK). Perry Pearson (ND/SD). Jennifer Horton (AR/MO/OK), Diane Harper (AR/MO/OK)

Presenters/ Facilitators (6): Terry Saber, Patty Henderson, Deb Miller, Summer Nelson, Kris Foner, Denise Ducette Dickson (via YouTube video)

The initial morning session opened with Hymn #347, followed by prayer led by Craig Winquist.

Overview:

Terry Saber started the workshop with the ground rules and the objectives for our time together. She also spoke about the key concepts for trust within teams from The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

• Ground rules. Candor, full participation (“say it! And say it here!”), listen with intent to understand vs respond, phones only during polling or at break.
• Objectives:
  • Education and understanding of Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Abuse.
  • Acknowledge and discuss path forward on enhancing communication and trust.
  • Increase awareness of needed Self<are.
  • Deepen awareness of the staff leadership needs and crisis management.
• Key takeaway from The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
  • Trust is foundational to all teams to accomplish the work expected of the team.
  • If trust is broken, creates dysfunction, fear, paralysis, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability, and inattention to the needed results.

Servant Leadership and Trust:

Patty Henderson presented key concepts from The Thin Book of Trust and The Servant as they relate to trust and leadership.

Elements of Trust: discussed what each is and how each influence whether a feeling of trust is created or damaged.

• Care
• Sincerity
• Reliability
• Competence

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, {only discussed the first two levels!

• The foundation of human well-being starts with physiological needs: air, water, food, etc. Ex: if a child is hungry in school, they won’t be able to team.
• Secondly you must have all your safety needs met (feel safe AND be safe). Ex: if a victim/survivor does not feel safe tn the fellowship meeting, it is difficult to focus on spiritual feeding.

Broken Trust: discussion of the emotions and behaviors that are elicited when trust is broken.

Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. (Author Ken Blanchard as quoted by James Hunter in The Servant).

• Scope of influence, as leaders we all have influence, but some have a greater scope of influence than others
• Authority/lnfluence versus Power. In order to influence, a person must be trusted. Power is the ability to impose your own will on someone else therefore trust is not required.

Staff Communication Updates/ Discussion.

Because the entire staff had not been together, time was created on the agenda for updates on current situations and discussion as to how the leadership team was formed to respond to crisis.

• Take-aways from Seneca overseers’ meeting.
  • Spent a good deal of time in spiritual meetings. Much of what was shared related back to our current situation. God is chastising his ministry— there is a purpose in all of this.
  • Strong encouragement for education to become more trauma-informed.
  • Consider ways in which we can provide financial support to victims who may not otherwise be able to afford it Policies to deal with allegations and perpetrators will be very similar across the states but can’t be exactly the same because laws differ. Legal advice is that each state ensures that their policy adheres to all laws while protecting the victims. Safety for all is key!
• Staff Discussion:
  • Need for more communication between the staff and to the fields.
  • Need a method to make communication easier so that it happens more frequently. The leadership team has been inundated with current allegation situations— so communication doesn’t become front and center.
  • Thankful for the opportunity for timely education
  • Much discussion on the need to take care of self. Someone who is empty can’t serve others!
  • Discussion on the question of what secrecy versus confidentiality is.

Trauma Informed Training

Child Sexual Abuse from Victim Perspective: Deb Miller presented information to help all understand CSA more completely.

• Specific risk factors and described red flag behaviors.
• Stages of grooming.
• How secrecy is ensured in abuse and why children don’t report.
• How to respond to a disclosure: Deb offered specifics on how to respond —our job is to be calm and be present, how to listen, validate, inform erf obligation to report, and document as much as possible as soon as possible.

Mandatory Reporting: Deb reviewed the list of mandatory reporters and the process for reporting. She talked about why it is difficult to report— these are people we know and love, but our goal is to keep everyone safe! There is a push nationally that would make all people 18+ a mandatory reporter.

Process/lnvestigation: Deb shared what happens after a report. A report is ‘screened’ to see if it meets the state’s guidelines for an investigation. If not, the report is screened out’—meaning no investigation will occur. If it meets the criteria, the report is sent to the Child Protection Team (CPS) of the county in which the alleged abuse occurred for investigation. The findings ace presented to the legal system. If the case has enough evidence for prosecution, the case moves to the legal system for prosecution. If the case lacks enough evidence fur legal prosecution, it is deemed unsubstantiated. Unsubstantiated is an allegation that was investigated, and the investigation produced insufficient evidence to make a final determination as to whether the event occurred.

Traumatic Effects of Child Sexual Abuse: Summer Nelson presented in great detail the effects of Child Sexual Abuse upon the victim.

• Neuro biological effects: Effects of trauma and PTSD can be viewed on imaging studies of the brain. Trauma exposure causes numerous changes to the body’s systems, including the brain, hormones, and neurotransmitters.
• Sexual abuse is an interpersonal trauma: one perpetrated by another human being that is known to the victim. When the victim is a child, survivors may continue to have interactions with the perpetrator and may experience revictimization.
• May be profoundly confusing in a religious/spiritual context when perpetrators are believed to be individuals who are “right with” or serving God
• Negative reactions to disclosure are harmful and some children will then recant their disclosure. (Adults may as well)
• Impacts of Child Sexual Abuse: extremes in emotion, emotional disengagement or flatness, difficulties with attention/concentration/memory, reexpenencing with strong emotional reactions to reminders also known as triggers, hypervigilance, sleep disorders/ nightmares, self-harm. disordered eating, bed wetting, and others.
• Emotional and Mental health consequences of CSA: PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociation, personality disorders, substance abuse, and suicide or self-injury
• Summer gave an overview of treatment approaches Some who’ve been a victim of abuse require life-long treatment while others require lifelong support. The length of the treatment is dependent upon many factors.

Sexual Assault in Adult Populations. Summer provided statistics as it relates to sexual abuse. She also reviewed the terms and definitions of sexual assault, rape, coercion, among others. She reviewed the mental health and behavioral consequences in adults as a result of sexual assault. Some of these are PTSD, depressive disorders, substance abuse, eating disorders, dissociative disorders, somatization disorders, suicidal ideations, suicide attempts, and death by suicide. Summer mentioned that it is helpful when creating policies that we engage various stakeholders to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Nature of Sex Offending: Denise Doucette Dickson was not able to attend but she pre-recorded a presentation that explained the characteristics of offenders and the treatment of offenders who have been convicted. She provided definitions of pedophilia, hebephilia, paraphelia and the types of paraphelias.

• Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder.
• Hebephilia is not a psychiatric disorder, but it is pathological in nature.

She also presented in detail behaviors of pedophiles and hebephiles that are non-contact offending behaviors and contact offending behaviors. She described a pathway to relapse, triggers, deviant sexual fantasies, urges and then acting out. For the offender, during their treatment they attempt to find ways to reduce triggers and break the relapse cycle.

MN/IA WORKSHOP – DAY 2

The morning session opened with a hymn brought by Loran Skaw. It was sung to the tune of hymn #405 but the words were sung as from the friends to the workers. LaVerna Kleffman followed with prayer.

Building Trust Interpersonally and Within Teams: Kris Foner presented how generational differences can affect communication and understanding. The generational differences are a result of the era and happenings that occurred during their formative years.

Generational differences.

• Silent Generation (born between 1928-1945) seek stability, comfortable with hierarchy.
• Baby Boomers (born between 1946-1964) are team oriented/good mentors prefer structure and less inclined to welcome change,
• Gen X (born between 1965-1980} flexible, willing to change, value responsibility/ honesty.
• Millennials (born between 1981-1996) expect collaboration, a seat at the table, and challenge hierarchical status quo.
• Gen Z (born between 1997-2012) value individual expression, flexibility, avoid labels, and embrace large-scale change.

Listening to other perspectives can increase engagement and support of decisions. It can create stronger relationships and build trust.

Listening for understanding: (The best way to listen for understanding is to WANT to understand!)

• Ask open-ended questions.
• Look person in the eye and maintain eye contact.
• Express appreciation for their sharing.
• Repeat back what you heard them say, in summary format.
• Reflect on what was shared.
• Avoid interrupting, finishing their sentence, looking at clock/watch/phone, making it about yourself, quickly giving your opinion.

Professional Boundaries, Confidentiality, Communication: Summer presented information that relates to considering our own role in supporting victims of trauma and sexual abuse. This session was designed in an interactive manner to allow for specific questions as she presented her slides. She helped answer the following questions:

• What can I do or say to be helpful to victims of Child Sexual Abuse and other traumas?
• How can I monitor my own emotional reactions and overall wellbeing in the context of reports of trauma?
• What type of information or advice am 1 qualified to give?
• How do 1 respond when victims want advice or response from me that I feel unqualified to give?
• How do I approach the concept of confidentiality?
• How do I try to avoid breaches of trust by reporting Child Sexual Abuse or abuse of vulnerable populations (when perhaps the person who provided the information wanted to keep it quiet? |
• How do I encourage someone to seek the help of a professional?

Self-Care. Deb Miller described the importance of self-care, types of self-care, and encouraged each of the workers to think about ways that they will incorporate methods of self-care into their daily fives.

Resources for effective coping:

• Self-awareness: how our past affects our present, understand your values, know your strengths and weaknesses, try journaling
• Emotional awareness
• Physical health, exercise, keep your body healthy, relaxation, sleep, good nutrition.
• Breathing, techniques of box breathing and belly breathing
• Relaxation and use of calming apps
• Hobbies and Leisure: goal to have at least 2 hobbies or leisure activities.
• Social support
• Positivity: gratitude, self-compassion/self-kindness, mindfulness

Why don’t we communicate?

• Apathy or boredom
• Peeling unacknowledged
• Fear of judgment or criticism
• Conflict avoidance
• Fear of vulnerability
• Lack of trust

She presented information about active listening. The ways in which our body language, attention and phrasing create an open, honest dialogue.

She presented information on setting boundaries, emotional boundaries, material boundaries, time /energy boundaries, mental boundaries, and physical boundaries help us be healthy in a way that we are available for others She also spent time on technological boundaries: the need to disengage from technology in a way that promotes sleep, down time, and being present in visits.

She presented information related to how to know when professional help may be needed to care for self with a deeper dive into symptoms of depression.

Group work: Each worker was assigned to one of five smaller groups. Each group was asked to work on a subject and come back to the larger group with a presentation that included suggestions.

• Group 1 &2 worked on the gaps that exist in our current CSA/SA policy.
  • Discussion related to hiring GRACE to help us with investigations.
  • Discussed the concept of developing a closed meeting taking care that friends who attend do so by volunteering only. These meetings would be held at times other than when our fellowship meetings meet.
  • Discussion/suggestions related to advocacy, financial support, response team .
• Group 3 worked on communication: to each other and to the field.
  • Discussion of a newsletter to keep all informed of what is happening within the states. Especially given the flexibility needed to cover the current fields with fewer workers.
  • If these concepts work and meet the need, the work of creating these could then be off- loaded to a group of friends with interest/skills in this work.
• Group 4 worked on accountability and self-care for the workers. What tasks are we doing today that don’t require the efforts of the workers?
  • Discussion of times during the year when the workers can have down time, such as the week after conventions, special meetings and dunng the winter holiday season .
  • Each encouraged to intentionally choose their self-care activities.
  • One key comment/question that arose. It’s hard to understand how to live to serve others (reference to Servant Leadership book) while learning to put ourselves first.
    Answer: If s both putting others first while learning to love ourselves and making sure we are taking care of ourselves and not getting burned out.
• Group 5 worked on off-loading tasks to the friends to allow more time for the workers to read, pray, and evangelize.
  • Created a list of things that could be off-loaded fur convention preps/convention.
  • Discussed ways in which we could gain an understanding of who in MN/LA has what skill set and would be willing to be called upon to engage that skill to help in a need. Some examples given: carpentry, mechanic, painting, laundry, cooking, etc.

Closed the workshop with hymn #370 and David Bergh closed in prayer.