Category: News

WINGS note: Mr. Hoffmann issues challenge to prove cover-ups.

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Setting the scene

90 minute discussion, about 50 people in attendance, 7 workers arranged in a big oval. Ray Hoffmann and Barry Barkley were two of the workers in attendance. The discussion started with a hymn.

Discussion

The first person that spoke was Barry. He stated an apology and that they were there to listen and learn.

Someone spoke next about their professional experience with children that have been a victim of abuse. Explained that it often takes years for a child to come forward and that statistically they only mention it once. This is part of why it is so important to believe victims when they come forward. The speaker expressed concern that when instances of abuse are brought to light that nothing is reported to authorities and perpetrators are simply shuffled to another field. They then told a story about a rape victim that they only discovered because the victim began to self mutilate. The rapist was a known offender moved into that field, and there were other victims after they were moved. The speaker asked for reassurance that the decision makers would make good decisions for everyone. (This request was not responded to by the workers).

The next person to speak said that the only way any of these perpetrators have a chance with God is to be in jail where they can’t hurt anyone. Where they have time to think and repent.

The next person said that they were glad the workers were at this town hall tending to the flock. They told stories of generations of sexual abuse in the family from perpetrators within and outside of meeting. They said we need to understand the difference between legal and moral and that the legal aspect of this would catch up to the ministry. They asked a rhetorical question: “where is the scripture that supports covering up? David’s sin was not covered up.” They ended by saying there is hope.

A brother worker responded with “the more informed we are the more we can move forward.” He explained that the CSA stuff was new to them and that MinistrySafe has been a real eye-opener.

Someone spoke in response to this worker that “no adult needs a course, book, or instructor to tell them that rape and child molestation is bad”.

The next person to speak stated that they wanted reassurance that all allegations would be reported and people in the area be informed.

The moderator tried to bring the mic to Ray Hoffmann to respond to this and Ray motioned the mic away and did not respond.

The next person said “how can we know children will be safe” (at meetings, conventions, etc.)

A brother worker responded with “that’s a hard question to answer but parents need to be aware of where their children are and who they are with. It’s a red flag if they are separated.”

Someone responded to this saying that this implies that parents of victims are to blame for not watching their children like a hawk and that guilt should be placed on the parents. The perpetrator is 100% responsible in every case. They then shared their own experience as a victim of CSA and explained how their parents knew exactly where they were but had entrusted them in someone’s care that ended up taking advantage of them..

Someone else responded to this by saying that it’s definitely partially on parents but parents know this and they know to watch out for their kids. The lack of communication is a big part of the issue. People are not told about perpetrators when they are transferred to their area. They also noted that the only information about this topic is from a website run by people who no longer go to meeting. They also called out the cover ups and victim shaming.

A few people made demands for a public blacklist of perpetrators to keep people more informed and aware. Workers seemed to be open to that but no verbal confirmation from them.

Someone mentioned that Ray’s name was brought up in a few posts about coverups and that people were calling on him to step down.

Ray zeroed in on one report. He painted a picture of the reporter being untrustworthy. He said “I’m not aware of anything I’ve been involved with with CSA. If people can prove that I knowingly moved a perpetrator to another field I will happily step down, I will happily step down, I will go to jail, I’m not afraid of jail. I don’t think it would be wise to step down off the suggestion of one person.”

Someone responded to Ray by saying “on the behalf of all victims, believe victims”.

A question was asked how we as families can keep the ministry safe. The interpretation of the question was “how can we make sure there aren’t perpetrators in the ministry”.

A sister worker responded with referencing the MinistrySafe course again and being informed.

Someone suggested that some kind of group is created of sister workers and mothers to be a resource for victims. If something were to happen to someone they would know of a safe group of people they could take their case to.

Someone asked why overseers travel alone and that maybe if they didn’t travel alone, they couldn’t lure people into their hotel room.

Ray responded to this by saying that that is a great suggestion and that he fears traveling alone. That he doesn’t like it when his name shows up alone on a list. (doesn’t he make the list?).

It was stated many times throughout that there needs to be better communication and we need to be able to trust that the workers will inform us immediately and those people need to be removed from meeting, special meetings, and conventions. That there is no grey area in waiting for the law to deal with it.

Ray responded to this by saying that they have notified known perpetrators that they are no longer welcome. If anyone shows up they will be escorted off the premises. He encouraged people to come forward with any cases or allegations and even things that just seem like red flags.

Someone responded agreeing and that it is important to put out the fires when they’re small.

Someone had a follow up of “what is the biblical justification for overseers?”

Ray referenced James as an overseer and that James had the last word. He also said that someone has to make the plans and organize. He then said that he used to be Catholic and he definitely won’t be going back to that and that he didn’t like the hierarchy.

The person who asked said “there is a hierarchy of the friends, elders, sister workers, brother workers, older workers, and overseers.”

Ray said that it’s important to have overseers who are led by God and to manage, otherwise every worker would just be doing what they think is right. (Pointing to the sisters workers) he says the sister workers are submissive in their place and are happy to be. Maybe you would like to speak on that? (Motioning for a sister worker to speak).

The sister worker described her relationship with their coworker as a marriage and that she feels her older companion is in a lot of ways in service to her.

A brother worker shared his testimony and love for being a worker and serving the friends. He said that he has respect for the overseers he’s been led by and that they’ve (the overseers he’s been under, not all overseers) always had the kingdom’s best interest at heart.

Someone shared that we are like a family and that being abused by someone in this way is not like being abused by someone from outside. Paraphrasing: There is a different level of trust/betrayal.

Someone spoke on the importance of talking about everything and coming together in unity and focusing on serving God.

Someone responded to the workers defending the hierarchy saying that they weren’t trying to poke holes in anything and that they love this way. That their trust hasn’t been broken by the workers in general by those in power, the overseers. They said that there needs to be reflection and accountability there.

The discussion ended by Ray saying “we’re sorry and thank you”

WINGS Note: These victims have said “please feel free to share wherever with whomever”. 

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Leslie White, 

This letter is for you, from all of us known and unknown who you have abused through your terrible misuse of assumed power. Please know that we in this letter are only a small representation of the lives you have personally damaged. 

You have molested us, raped us, had inappropriate sexual conversations with us, touched us inappropriately, hugged and kissed us forcibly, against our will, asked us inappropriate questions, you have demeaned, threatened, groomed us, made us trust you, coerced and forced us to be a part of things we didn’t ask for and that we didn’t want to be a part of in any way, shape or form. 

You have robbed us of much, taken our power and silenced our voices but we are here to say no more, enough! 

No longer do we fear you, no longer will we be silent, lest we also would be amongst those who have in their silence and inaction enable you to continue to abuse and ruin the lives of precious souls. 
We are taking back our power.
Now it is our turn to do the asking. 

We request that you would acknowledge your abuse of us all and that you would permanently remove yourself from all meetings and gatherings effective immediately. This is in accordance with how the scriptures tell us that evil doers like yourself should be handled. 

After all that you have taken from us we are not asking much. 

You are a predator, a violator, you are not safe to be around women and children. This is mercy for your soul to remove you from temptations which you so obviously cannot refuse. 

JoNell McDaniel: Leslie was so overpowering and flew so deeply under the radar. I was so afraid of him.

Leslie loved to visit me alone at my house and in his secluded little cabin on the convention grounds in Elizabeth. 

He asked me to buy him a couple of ties, because his were getting worn. 
Of course, he wanted me to deliver those to the cabin during convention. 
He was on such a power trip. 
He makes me sick

Anonymous: When I was in my 30’s Leslie’s abuse was on going over a period of several years. Leslie would come through and visit alone on his way to overseer meetings in Tennessee. I experienced inappropriate touching and sexually explicit comments and conversations. His abuse had such a physical, emotional and mental affect on me and made me so ill that for quite some time I couldn’t even care for myself. 

I reported and shared my handwritten account with the sheriff’s dept in 2012.

Kim: Leslie abused me in my 40s.  A meeting took place sometime around 2000/2002 with Leslie, Marlon Halbakken, Marge Major, along with my grandma Maxine Felton. I begged that Leslie would step down from the work as I felt he wouldn’t stop his behaviour and it would only get worse. Leslie’s abuse of me included unwelcome visits to a lady alone in her home. Inappropriate sexual conversations, Inappropriate touching, forced kissing. Leslie stole my soul and I hate that. 

I reported to sheriffs dept in 2012.

Laura Jelinek van Dijken: I was around 22 years old and had been in the work for about 2 years and 3 months when I was raped by Leslie White at Elizabeth preps in Colorado in 2003. 

Leslie said he would do a walk through of the area where I’d been working that day. 

He raped me up in the nursery, told me to clean up the mess and I was threatened among other things he said that I would would be put out of the work and out of meetings if I ever spoke up and that no one would believe me, that they would believe him because of who he was. 

I still remember the sound of that door shutting. 

I shoved the trauma under to survive and went on with my life and never said a word. I was called to go in the work and I didn’t want to have to leave and I definitely didn’t want to be told I couldn’t go to meetings. 

Plus Leslie was my overseer, the one making the plans for my life. Who was I supposed to turn to? So I just pretended everything was fine and I believed it was…until it wasn’t.

In 2011 I returned from working in Finland/ Scandinavia. I was not feeling well at all. I hadn’t really been sleeping for quite some time because it didn’t feel safe. By that time I was very sick and felt like my body was shutting down. It felt like it was saying “You’re not taking care of me so I’m not working for you anymore. 

I went to York convention that year and found out shortly beforehand that Leslie was supposed to be there. He cornered me at some point in the dining shed and asked me if I was still keeping silent. I said yes. I ended up speaking in the same meeting as him and felt so sick. 

In 2012 I was put in touch with a professional trauma counselor who was a huge part of what essentially helped save my life. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and hyper vigilance. I was so busy throwing myself into taking care of others so I wouldn’t have to feel or deal with my own pain but I could hardly function. I remember having thoughts while driving the road and thinking how nice it would be to be hit by a truck and just have all the pain ended and over with. 

I eventually disclosed the rape to my counselor and in time he helped me tell my sister who was my co-worker at the time.  

In April of 2012 I finally got to the place of desperation where I could no longer remain silent about what Leslie did. 

I knew that if I keep silent the abuse would continue.

I wrote to Lyle Schober, he called me, he let Ray Hoffmann know and Ray was in touch with Leslie. 

I had a meeting with Ray, Lyle, my sister, my 1st co worker and a friend who works in the legal department concerning sexual abuse in mid May. 

Ray and Lyle said they couldn’t make the decision for me but that they strongly encouraged me to report to the sheriff’s department in Colorado and they said that it would be the leverage that would need to get Leslie out of the ministry.

I was told this was mercy for Leslie because maybe it would help him to realize what he’d done and take it seriously and that maybe it would be a chance for him to repent and make things right. 

I didn’t want to report to the sheriff’s dept and relive the horror that this man had done to me but at the same time I desperately wanted Leslie’s abuse of women stopped.

I reported to the sheriffs dept in May 2012. Ray informed Leslie that day that effective immediately he was no longer in the work. 

During the course of the investigation I was told that many many reports had come in from all over the US. 

The nature of these reports was anything from someone feeling uncomfortable around Leslie, unwanted sexual conversations or questions, grooming behaviour, visiting women alone, inappropriate touching forced kissing etc. 

 In spite of the countless reports that came in to the investigator it unfortunately never went court. The case went inactive last year after 10 years. 

From all I’ve heard Leslie has continued his behaviour and because of Ray Hoffmann’s refusal to put him out of all meetings and Ray and other overseers refusal to write a letter and notify the church (the people) of Leslie’s behaviour and lack of repentance his behaviour has been allowed to continued and his abuse of women and young girls has been enabled. 

In 2012 Ray Hoffmann looked me in the eye and promised and assured me that Leslie White would never be in the work again, yet in April of 2023, 11 years later, it was discovered that Ray himself was letting Leslie speak in gospel meetings. When asked why, Ray answered; “Maybe not the wisest choice”. 

I cannot help but feel righteous anger that Leslie wasn’t removed from the work long ago. Barry Barkley and Ray Hoffmann are partially responsible for all those who were abused after the very first time they heard of his behaviour and essentially did nothing. A friend in Colorado told me in 2012 that her Aunt had had problems with him in Georgia 50 years before this. Your knowledge of Leslie’s abuse has never been 1 isolated occasion that you could write off as a simple innocent lack of judgement.

Anonymous: 

I want to talk about shame.

SHAME. It’s what I’ve been cloaked in for such a long time. It’s what I felt at convention one year when I was 12/13 when a brother worker who was very well respected by everyone sexually assaulted me.

SHAME. It’s what I felt that same convention when I took too many of my anti-anxiety meds and started having issues breathing.

SHAME. It’s what I felt when the ambulance had to come get me from the convention grounds.

SHAME. It’s what I felt when my parents had to come pick me up after getting my stomach pumped.

SHAME. It’s what I felt when that same brother worker wrote a letter to my parents telling them that due to my ‘suicide attempt’ I was no longer welcome on those convention grounds.

SHAME. Red hot. Creeping up my face. I felt it in my bones. I tried years to bury it. I used drugs, alcohol, I cut myself, I DID try to commit suicide. More than once.

SHAME led to self hatred led to very abusive relationships and a self destructive lifestyle that I’m lucky I survived from at all.

SHAME is what I talked about today in therapy. Years of it rolled down my face as I said that brother workers name.

SHAME is what HE should feel, having hurt many others besides me. 

I put my shame back on him, I put my shame on the fact he’s still (to my knowledge less than a month ago) ACTIVELY participating in meetings.

He should feel every ounce of his survivors shame, every bit of our fear, our sadness our collective pain. He did MUCH WORSE to others than he did to me.

He should be ostracized, cast out.

He should be IN PRISON for the acts he’s committed.

But he isn’t. He’s free. 

And finally after years and years, I’m free too. 

SHAME: I put it all back on you, Leslie White.

Tava Z: I was 9 years old when Leslie molested me in my house. The abuse was on going.   

Reported to PI Liles 2023. 

Anonymous: I’ve been asked to share a bit about my experiences with Leslie White, both as a teenager and again as a young married woman. I was probably 15-16 when he appeared (unexpectedly) at a gathering of young people in our home. He was “holding court” with all the young girls clinging to his every word. I was very uncomfortable with the whole situation. When it was time for him to leave, he was hugging the women/girls and shaking hands with the men. When he got to me, I awkwardly extended my hand to shake and he ignored that and pulled me into a hug that was a very inappropriate “full frontal” hug. I quickly extricated myself and pushed away from him. I thought I had, through my body language, made my opinion of him crystal clear. 

Several years later, when I moved to the state where he was the overseer, I heard stories from the other married ladies of LW showing up, alone and uninvited, to their homes when their husbands would be gone working. I thought, “he’d never do that to me, he knows I don’t like him at all.” I was quite surprised when he showed up, not once, not twice, but three different times. Each time, he was alone, uninvited, and my husband was gone. The first time, I ignored the bell because I had been warned he just stopped down the street and was in the neighborhood. (Imagine that, the professing ladies playing a game of telephone to warn one another that the overseer was making his rounds, alone, to see the married ladies!?) The second time I told him that I believed in the verse that said abstain from even the appearance of evil so he wouldn’t be coming into my house when I was there alone. The third time, he called through the door and said that he just needed to use the telephone. Again, I refused him entry while I was there alone and told him there was a pay phone at the gas station down the road. 

In all of these interactions, I felt like he was testing my response to see what he could get by with. I was never raised to worship workers and was always told by my parents that if something feels wrong, trust your gut. I am very thankful for that. I am also thankful for the more experienced, slightly older married ladies in my town who had warned several of us that were newly married and quite young that this may happen. Their courage to speak up gave us the courage to say no when he showed up uninvited. While these things were not criminal, they were definitely inappropriate and not the behavior of a true servant of God.

Anonymous: I was a teenager when Leslie was around my sister and I a lot. He would hug us and was very touchy feely with us and it made us so uncomfortable. 

Anonymous: At convention in August, 2008, Leslie White spoke to me briefly in the dining tent about returning to the meetings, and having a part again, following my divorce. 
He mentioned that he would be in touch to find a time to have that conversation. 

In January, 2009, Leslie was having gospel meetings in the area, and contacted me to follow through on his earlier promise to have a conversation about meetings. 

Leslie invited me to join him and his companion for dinner with the purpose of providing me with an opportunity to return to meetings, have a part, following my divorce several years earlier. 

Leslie asked me numerous times to meet at my home for dinner, to which I replied that I did not feel comfortable with two men in my home, alone. We agreed to meet at a restaurant for dinner, however, only Leslie attended and made an excuse as to why his companion did not attend. 

Following conversation about family and life, with dinner finished, Leslie stated that he wasn’t finished with our meeting. I suggested that we could go to a coffee shop, to which he stated that he didn’t want more coffee. 

He suggested that we go to my house; I denied that request repeatedly, stating that it was inappropriate, and he should not consider that an option. 

Leslie continued to try to break me down to convince me to allow him to come to my home, which included statements that he didn’t care if things weren’t in order, or that he wouldn’t go upstairs. After offering several public locations to continue the meeting, Leslie finally agreed to meet at a large public mall, in view of others. At this location, the conversation turned to a far more personal subject involving my relationship with my ex-husband, specifically my sexual relationship with my ex-husband.

For reference, here are some of the questions he asked me:

1. Did you ever have pleasure with your husband?
2. How often did the two of you have sex?
3. Could my husband get an erection?
4. Did he ejaculate?
5. What did I do to excite him?
6. Did I get him to masturbate?
7. Did he think your body was attractive?
8. Did he look at other women?
9. In the times you did have sex, was he able to get you wet?
10. “Any man with one red blood cell would have sex with you.” Statement by LW
11. Leslie said he would have sex with me.
12. Leslie said he would even marry me if he were younger.
13. Leslie said I was an absolutely beautiful woman with a beautiful body.
14. Leslie told me that he loved me 4 or 5 times during the evening conversation.

Following this very uncomfortable conversation, I felt extremely violated by someone I had been taught to trust and respect. 

I reached out to friends from meeting that I knew I could trust with this sensitive information. Without hesitation, they began to advocate for me and initiated contact with Barry Barkley. 

Barry flew from the East Coast to attend a meeting at this couples’ home, where Leslie, Barry, the couple, myself, and an Elder from the area spent 3 hours in a conversation about the incident. Leslie denied everything that I mentioned he had said to me that evening.

However, during a pause in conversation, he blurted out, “I did ask you about orgasm.” “Did I say that right?” This was the moment his entire denial would be seen as a lie, when he convicted himself.

Over the course of many months, emails were exchanged with workers who had been put in charge of handling this situation by covering his behavior as “he’s just a human, and we all make mistakes,” calling me “a troubled woman,” asking for additional time to see if there was a pattern to Leslie’s behavior or if it was a one-time occurrence. 

At my request for outside intervention, a mediation specialist heard both parties separately, and then together for a final meeting, in August 2010.

At that final meeting, Leslie denied he’d ever mentioned any of the above-mentioned statements, including the orgasm comment. The mediation specialist gave a dire warning that unless a system was put into place where people could feel free from the fear of retaliation or disbelief by coming forward in abusive experiences, that this behavior would continue amongst the ministry, and it would not stand the test of time. 

He asked that the worker, Jim Price, who was acting as witness for the final meeting, agree to such a system, to which he refused by stating that those decisions would need to come from Barry Barkley. 

The mediation specialist suggested Ministry Safe as a means that all workers/ministers should take, to better understand their roles, and safekeeping as they stayed in other’s homes. 

Barry Barkley continued to remain in touch with me through email, often discussing his travels and time with various workers and friends, never making mention of the incident with Leslie and how it was progressing. 

It is now 2023, and in light of all that is happening in the Truth, I felt compelled to include my experience, knowing that Leslie White was never held accountable for his behavior, but was allowed to continue in the Work, often meeting with other women alone, and traveling without a companion. 

To all the workers who were involved in this situation, investigation, and mediation that chose to blame the victim while protecting the abuser, you are just as liable and responsible for promoting dishonesty, immorality and illegal behaviors within the Truth. 

A mother: In light of all that has been brought to the attention of workers and friends in the last few months, regarding CSA, SA, sexual harassment, and inappropriate behavior within the ministry, I felt it was necessary to share concerns that I felt with comments Leslie White made to me in regards to my then 13 year old daughter, at convention. 

Leslie had just arrived in IN, and was getting acquainted with everyone between meetings. I was in the meeting shed when he came up to me, and stated that he had met my youngest daughter, and she was “absolutely stunning,” and the most beautiful young girl he’d ever met! 

He went on with similar comments for a minute or so, I thanked him, and then moved on. 

At the moment he said those things, a flash of concern ran through my mind, just for a split second, because it seemed so passionate and a little unexpected from a male worker. I reassured myself that my thought was entirely wrong, and actually felt guilty for even considering some concern, as we often heard people compliment our girls’ appearance. 

What I was unaware of was the fact that Leslie White made a practice of this behavior and conversation. 

What seemed as an innocent compliment may have been nothing more, in this case, as I kept a close eye on my children. But Momma Bear would’ve certainly stopped at nothing to protect my children had anything else seemed out of line.

Anonymous: I was abused by Leslie in Indiana around 2009. I was young, beautiful, and in a difficult relationship. Leslie thought he could prey on me by phone. He asked me sexually inappropriate questions. I hung up on him because of my disgust.

Anonymous: In 1987 Leslie was visiting at our home. I think he was overseer of iowa at the time. I was 14 and he told me that he noticed I had slimmed down and that my figure was looking good. It was awkward. I can’t remember if my mom overheard him say it, but I did discuss it with her. Everyone thought Leslie was the greatest so everything he did or said was perfect.

In July/August of 1993 when I was 19 and about to turn 20, I had just given birth two weeks prior (pregnancy from being raped by a professing family member that I was protecting at the time), and I was visiting my parents when Leslie also came to their place after Brownstown, IL convention. Leslie lectured me at length that if I kept myself pure I could be forgiven and could be eligible for marriage.  (I had always believed and heard growing up in meetings that the workers were so close to God they would say and do the right thing even if they didn’t know the whole story.) The next morning my siblings and I all took a picture with Leslie and he had his arm wrapped around my waist for the picture and I was SO uncomfortable!!!

I believe Leslie was trying to be encouraging to me and he probably didn’t realize how uncomfortable I was feeling in both instances. I don’t believe he was coming on to me, but it was truly a lack of boundaries on his part.

I wish I could find that picture. I think it’s somewhere at my parents and it would take quite a bit of time to locate it. 

Cynthia Liles, PI: Information on the internet indicated White had finally been removed from the work in 2012 after years of complaints and the allegation of rape. 

I noticed online there were a couple of comments suggesting White was actually still in the work in Maine. I learned in late March or early April of 2023 that Ray Hoffmann indeed had let him back in the work by letting him speak in gospel meetings. 

This was confirmed with Ray in a phone call. 

Over the course of the last 3 months and even before the news of Dean Bruer broke I have received numerous messages and calls in regards to Leslie White.

A note to the administrators, workers elders and friends everywhere. We plead with you in the meekness and gentleness of Christ, do not ignore the crimes of this man and others any longer. 

We beg you to deal with every perpetrators according to God’s clear scripture and in and with God’s Spirit. 

The question needs to be asked; 

WHY victims are so often not believed, not supported, not validated. 

Why are there so many concessions for the violators, why do you protect them, cover up what they’ve done and dismiss and re-traumatize us? 

Why do you allow them to continue abusing others?

We feel that it is because the violators and perpetrators are most often well known, someone in a place of power. 

While the victims are most often unable to reveal their identity (they shouldn’t have to) and so to you they remain faceless and nameless. 

So let us introduce ourselves and just know that every victim falls into one or more of these categories. We are women, we are mothers, we are your sisters, daughters, nieces, we are your sister workers, we are grandmothers and from a even less heard from group sometimes we are men, boys, your sons, nephews, uncles, fathers and grandfathers. 

Most of all we are God’s children, we are souls and we matter too. 

Whether we were children or adults when the abuse happened, whether our abuser or abuse was one time or many, whether we still go to meeting or not, we matter.

Please don’t lend a deaf ear or turn a blind eye to us anymore.

Sincerely, 

Just a very small representation of the many. 

WINGS Note: This is a letter from an online network of friends who are encouraging workers to start and continue taking action for a safer fellowship.

From the authoring group: “This letter, published on June 17, was written by a young woman in our group to express our support and encouragement for workers advocating for change within the fellowship. The bullet points in the letter were formulated using input from members of the Connected and Concerned Friends group, our worldwide group of 1500+ members concerned about the prevalence of child sexual abuse and sexual abuse within the fellowship. We created our platform on June 4th, 2023 as a way to keep people updated, connected, having important conversations, and working toward positive change. In all of this, the goal is to uphold Jesus, and support the healthy examination of traditions.”

Connected and Concerned Friends https://connected-and-concerned-friends.mn.co/

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We see you. We appreciate you. We care for you. We are so thankful for your continuous effort to restore trust and to create a safer community.

We can’t imagine how tremendously difficult it is for you right now. You’re hearing the desperate cries just as we are. You’re processing the layers of betrayal and distrust just as we are. You’re realizing how you’ve contributed to a silent and unsafe community, just as we are.

You’re receiving pressure to stand up, both from the crying souls around you and from within. There seems to be an expectation for you to suddenly get everything perfectly right without proper training. While you’re still hurting. Sometimes your heartfelt, best-intentioned words are attacked, your intentions misinterpreted. We understand how much that must hurt. We see you trying, and for that we are so thankful. We want to encourage you to keep fighting, keep working for justice, for safety, for the victim-survivors, for the women, children, and men in the fellowship. It’s ok if it’s not perfect from the first try. We often learn best from the act of trying. We promise to do our best to be gracious and understanding with our feedback.

While all of this is going on, you’re expected to maintain your position and routine in the ministry – continuing to visit homes, continuing gospel meetings and conventions, continuing to “be there” for everyone around you – while you’re struggling to process everything yourself. The ministry you’ve given your life to has betrayed you. Your companions, your overseers, those you’ve looked to for guidance, those you’ve confided in. And yet, you continue to have a love for the ministry, a love for souls. And that’s why you keep fighting. You know God is still reigning, that God is righteous in His judgment and cares so deeply for the victim-survivors you’re fighting for.

We see you facilitating the difficult conversations with the workers around you. We see you listening to the stories of the victim-survivors. We see you, all hours of the day, holding space and time for the needs of the people around you. We see you taking action and implementing change.

You’re not sure how much longer your boss is going to be in his position. And yet you feel compelled to continue under his direction. There are so many conflicting commands surrounding you: from the concerned, from the victim-survivors, from the young workers, from the head workers, from those asking you to be silent. We encourage you to continue to listen to the voice that matters the most: our Heavenly Father’s. And while we long to be an encouragement and support to you, we know that He is the greatest source of comfort, hope, and support for you, as well as us.

These are a few of the things we’ve been sharing in the “Encouraging Thoughts” portion of our group:

• “There is no place where earth’s sorrows are more felt than up in heaven” (hymn #54)
• Something good and pure will come from this. God will not be mocked. Stand true and faithful.
• Samuel listened to God. He heard the hard things and then he ACTED with the support of God. He stayed true during the hard times and God gave the victory.
• I’m thankful God can give us comfort even while we fight the battle. We may not have peace yet but God can keep us in the fight.
• The church is the plant, and God is the gardener, and He is using His loppers right now. This is what we must be willing for if we desire to remain His church.
• 2 Corinthians 1 gives such a beautiful illustration of what a healthy relationship between the church and our workers ought to be.
• I Peter 1:3-9
• Hymn #6 (When I survey the wondrous cross)
• Hymn #69 (To whom, Lord, shall we go?)
• Jesus is the only way, only truth, only light, only Son of God, only hope, only Word and only Redeemer! A church isn’t the basis of Salvation. Rules aren’t the basis of Salvation. Only Jesus is!
• A study of God using women: Rahab, Deborah & Jael, Miriam, Lydia, Phoebe, Priscilla
• God sees you. God knows exactly where you are. You may feel lost, but God has found you. He is already all around you.
• Psalms 147:3
• “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.”
• The children of Israel trembled before Goliath, with none willing to go before him. It took a lad, with a sling and a stone to bring down a giant. David’s brother was angry, questioning his motive in coming to the battle. Saul was willing to give David armor, but unwilling to face the giant himself.
• 2 Corinthians 4:16
• 2 Timothy 3
• Psalms 46:10
• “If He brought you to it, He’ll bring you through it.”
• “And though my lot be cast today, somewhere I would not choose, help me to know that in thy will, I shall but gain not lose” (hymn #259)
• Luke 16:10-11

And here are some words of encouragement that folks from our group (a group of nearly 1400 friends supporting you) have written specifically for you:

• Perfect love casts out fear.
• God is working with us ❤️ thank you
• Truth sets us free. Any delay in removing predators implies guilt or complicity. Survivors have waited decades, years to feel safe in fellowship. Thank you for ensuring meetings are a refuge, not a torture chamber.
• Seek Jesus alone. Step out in faith with him.
• Jesus doesn’t change, but we must. For all of these years, we have not. Seems like we’ve focused more on Paul than on Jesus (more on appearance than the weightier matters). We completely support all of your efforts to be more like Jesus. We are trying to do the same.
• “In the warfare we are waging For the truth and for the right, When the conflict fierce is raging With the powers of the night, God needs workers brave and true; May He, then, depend on you?” (hymn #372) Thank you for being among “The Brave and the True.”

We are here, “waiting in the wings” to help with anything we possibly can. To support you, to work with you, to facilitate the needed changes within our fellowship. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with anything we can do to be of help for the greater work currently happening.

Finally, if you are not ok, that is ok. There is support available, and it is ok to seek out that support.

With a unified purpose for truth, honesty, and God’s will to be done,

Connected & Concerned Friends

My name is Loyd R Heimbruch.  Some people on Wings know me, others may know who I am.  Some people may not know my name, but they may know me as “Andrew’s Dad”.

Andrew was born with a disability.  He has Down Syndrome and Autism.  He is mostly non-verbal, but he does understand when spoken to, and he can read. He can speak two to four word simple sentences if he is motivated to do so.

When Andrew was in elementary school, he was open enrolled to a neighboring school district for their special education program.  His transportation was on the school’s van for children with disabilities.

One day when Andrew was in 5th grade, he was dropped off later than usual.  He immediately went to the back yard, took off all of his clothes, and sat on his swing set.  He had never done anything like this before (and he hasn’t done it since).  So Priscilla and I talked about it, and we were suspicious.  Andrew could not tell us why he took off his clothes, could not tell us why the van was late, and could not tell us what happened that day.  So the next day we took him to a pediatrician we knew that specialized in CSA cases.  The exam was inconclusive.  We talked to the school and arrangements were made immediately for him to ride the regular school bus with the other children. This was an appropriate modification to accommodate the situation.

Andrew is now 27 years old.  Since he was a young child, he would stay with me in the men’s dorms at conventions.  When he needed an afternoon nap I couldn’t leave him unattended in the men’s dorm, because of DTA (Don’t Trust Anybody).  So Priscilla would take him to the women’s dorm to sleep where he could safely be left unattended and checked on occasionally.  Or she could stay with him, as there was a speaker in there.  There wasn’t a speaker in the men’s dorms.

As he became an adolescent, and then a young adult, we continued to use the same procedures because this was safest for him.  He is a vulnerable adult, and we cannot place him in a situation where he could be harmed.  Most of the ladies at convention understood this.  Andrew understands that his “equipment” is just like his Dad’s, but he has no clue why.  He understands that men and women are different, but he has no idea why.  The ladies pretty much understood this (because it was obvious).  One year someone complained.  However, we couldn’t do it any differently, so we began preparing to leave convention.  Just before we were going to start packing, Priscilla was informed that if he stayed in a particular area away from others she could have him in the Women’s dorms.  So it worked out, but it was an unsettling experience for us.

Well, the thing is that a vulnerable adult has the exact same issues regarding SA as a child has regarding CSA.  For all practical purposes, he has an adult body with a child’s brain, and very limited communication skills.

The core of the issue is that any relationship that Andrew has with anyone is a relationship where one person has the advantage.  And it isn’t him.  It is not possible for him to have a relationship with others that is a balanced, equal relationship.  The person on the other side has the power.  If something inappropriate happens, it most certainly is not his fault.  He cannot prevent it.  It is completely and entirely on the other party.  He wouldn’t be able to talk about it.  He wouldn’t feel guilty.  But he would feel violated.  This is only one example of an unequal relationship. Other unequal relationships are:

• Adult – Child
• Older Experienced Adult – Young Naive Adult
• Adult – Vulnerable Adult
• Supervisor – Employee
• Male in the Work – Female in the Work
• Male Overseer – Any Other Worker
• Any Worker – Any Non-Worker in the Fellowship
• And others that I’m not going to get into here.

The key here is who has the power.  If one person is perceived as having more power (whether they actually have it or not), then anything that occurs of a sexual behavior is entirely the responsibility of the one who has the power.  The victim is blameless and guiltless, just like my son Andrew.

I do not for a moment believe that there can be a consensual relationship between a brother and sister worker.  There is no such thing.  The men have the authority and all of the power.  The power imbalance is so great that it is impossible to consider them as equals.  Having an inappropriate relationship with a sister worker is an abuse of power, unless they both leave the work and get married.

Even if the woman initiates it, it is still all on him.  Because he has the power.  If this happens where the man is CEO of a corporation, he’s gone.  Even if the woman initiated it, because he is the one in authority.  He stands to lose everything.  His job, his marriage, his family, and worst of all his integrity.  It may be very difficult to resume his career in a similar position.  A person needs to keep their body under subjection (I Corinthians 9:27).  Otherwise, he should become a castaway.  That’s what it says.  Do people just check in their brain at the door when opportunity is there?  Much better to use the brain that the Lord gave us and use the door as a way of escape.

I was mentioning to Mrs. Wonderful the other day about some of my experiences when various women tried to initiate something.  Some before we were married, some after.  It is absolutely necessary to keep my integrity.

This is even more important for clergy, as they have the additional responsibility of being in a position of trust.  They are the shepherds of souls, that are thought of as being willing to lay down their lives for the sheep.  If they harm the sheep instead of protecting them, there will be a heavy price to pay.  The Good Shepherd is simply not going to put up with it.

Speak the Truth in Love, with temperance.  Be ye angry, and sin not.  The truth will overcome.

Love in Christ

Loyd R Heimbruch