Items of interest regarding child sexual abuse, and especially as it relates to the Friends and Workers fellowship.
Michael J Dunn was convicted in 2004 of Sexual Conduct Without Consent on a 22 year old male in 2002 and sentenced to one year imprisoment.. He had a previous conviction in 1999 of Sexual Abuse-2nd Degree on a 13 year old male in 1998.
It is understood that after release from prison he was not allowed in meetings with the victim but otherwise allowed to go to fellowship meetings.
I wish to remain anonymous at this present time. (Edit: Author is now sharing their identity: Darrin MacDonald, New Brunswick, Canada)
Regarding the posted letter of: Friends Letter to Overseers and Workers. Friends’ Letter to Overseers and Church
I agree with the direction of the letter. I applaud the ambitions of our concerned friends and fully support the need for real change. Have for many years. Thank you for speaking out.
However, I would ask the church to read and consider the included attachment and see where we have gotten to in our generation.
Ask yourself where God fits into this manmade structure?
Ask yourself who is the greatest in the Kingdom?
Examine the honesty and transparency of these leaders, and those who so strongly support their role in the framework.
These same three men in power are fighting to every extent to hold control, including continued threats to all who wish to even be aware of the crisis we are in. They are holding the support of most workers and elders in our region. Every evidence points to the need for their removal.
Who has chosen the chief overseer?
Who has chosen the other overseers?
Who has chosen the elders?
Some workers are chosen by God.
Some workers are volunteers.
Perhaps some elders are chosen by God, but in our experience, elders are chosen for convenience. In our area, a known pedophile was chosen to be an elder. Some are blessed by God. Some are not.
The responsibility of making changes in the operation of our “Truth”, must be left to God. Leaving this in the hands of selected people will be the wrong direction. We do not want a manmade worship. We worship God. Discussions and decisions must include all members, who wish to participate.
God’s beautiful “friends” should not be considered a “lower place”.
Remember how Jesus felt about the child in their midst.
Barry, Ray and Dale have been asked by this group to “Humbly take the lower place”. I plead for us as a people to get away from “higher” and “lower place”. To work to become one. These three men cannot hold any place in the ministry. As long as their name is on the list, they are holding the money and authority. Almost all, if not all, other workers and elders will adhere to their authority – whatever lesser level of management we or they pretend they are filling.
These three named men are currently holding discussions at Ellershouse Convention grounds in Nova Scotia, Canada.
This may be an opportune time for this growing group of supporters of Truth, to move beyond the posted notice requesting them to take the “lower” place and ask them to leave the work completely.
This will open the door for restoration of God’s true ministry.
Thank you. For your consideration and part in this needed change in our direction.
Thank you for speaking up.
Anonymous
Management Pyramid
Also Known as a Hierarchical Structure
Following is the management system the “Truth” has grown into in the past one hundred years.
Chief Overseer.
General Overseer.
Regional Overseer.
Senior brother workers
Junior brother workers
Senior sister workers
Junior sister workers
Elders
Elder’s wives
Deacons. (No real named position)
Privileged friends
Friends
The men, women and children that make up the church, meetings, conventions etc.
Money flows to the top.
Authority flows from the top.
Below is my (Otto Herr) summary of the meeting that occurred at the elder’s home on Saturday July 8, 2023 in Bellefonte PA. All topics are summarized (not word verbatim unless in quotes) with the items that I deemed germane to the topic at hand. There was significant side conversation that occurred throughout the meeting. Also, I thought it is important to note that none of the workers took notes during the meeting. Note also, I had prepared a list of talking points and questions. We really didn’t go through any of them, as we got hung up on the first one (a registry of potential/convicted offenders).
Meeting consisted of 4 workers and 9 of the congregation. Workers present: Ralph Miller, Dan Helenek, Ruth Veltri, and Margret Long.
Opened with a quick intro by the elder. Then transferred to Ralph to essentially lead the discussion.
When we asked if we could audio record the meeting, we were unable to get full group consensus, so we ended up not doing so. Note that objection came from a few of the congregation, and some from the workers as well on this topic. That said, I think that Ralph would have been fine with it, as we noted that this was for our use only (not to be made public).
I pushed for forma! meeting minutes and was essentially told no to this (again, push back from a few in the congregation, and at least one worker – not Ralph).
Ralph gave a more in-depth intro on the problem at hand starting with the Dean Bruer incident and ending with noting that there was one worker on the “east coast”. However, I felt like he downplayed (or he did not know how far reaching) because he only noted one worker on the “east coast” (not by name, but assumed to Leslie White) and noted that much of known issues were on the “west coast”. So, I spoke up and listed the stats to provide a little more clarity as to how wide spread the issue really is ~500 perpetrators, 23 workers/elders removed, 3 conventions closed, and likely 1000s of victims).
Most didn’t know this. And, for the record, none of the workers disputed those numbers.
Ralph noted that the plan moving forward was threefold;
1. Minsters are to continue to take “Ministry Safe” training.
2, Mandatory reporting within 24-hours of any suspected or reported sexual abuse.
3, Anyone who has been reported, is then not allowed to attend meetings or gatherings until allegations have been investigated by the authorities, and they are given the all-clear. Then they MAY be allowed to attend (case specific).
I asked if there was a centralized list of those who are not to attend due to allegations/convictions. Ralph noted that there is a public list of registered sex offenders. I acknowledged that list, however, I noted that would not include those who were just recently reported and told not to attend meetings. I asked how workers from other areas would know if an individual is to not attend? Ralph essentially said that he talks to people, and “word would get around”. I presented the scenario where an individual was suspected of sexual abuse and Ralph reported it, then 2 weeks later, this individual traveled across the country to another state and attended a convention. I asked how those at that convention would know that this individual was not supposed to be attending? No real clear answer was given. I asked if a centralized list could be kept, that would be accessible to workers everywhere (essentially worldwide) so that workers from different areas could be keep up to date. After discussion, it didn’t really seem to me like they were getting this idea…or really knew of a way to implement it. I explained that this list may help to limit liability to those within the work, because then they could point to the list and note that an individual was reported. On this topic, it did not seem to go any further. It was also unclear as to whether or not this would be taken up the chain of command. We did not really get any further on this topic.
As indicated in my list of prepared questions (separate document), I noted that I thought that there would be more of a “plan” moving forward, and if not, I had some ideas on how things could be done if they were willing to listen to them (i.e. this meeting used to collect “questions & concerns” with a future meeting to address all). They didn’t seem to know if that would even be possible.
It was noted by an individual that there were recent letters in Canada that described anticipated changes in the way conventions would proceed. The letter described changes in over-night sleeping accommodations, bathroom visits, etc. When asked if there would be any changes here in PA, Ralph stated that he didn’t think so, and that things would proceed as they normally do.
Summary of other side-bar topics:
It was noted by some individuals in the meeting that more care should be taken on the part of parents to “educate” their kids as to “good touch, bad touch” type of things. This was acknowledged by the workers and everyone, but also noted that blame does not lie on the victim, but rather the perpetrator. Also, this is not a policy that the workers can enforce as they are not the ones implementing it.
It was acknowledged that “reform” of perpetrators of sexual abuse (particularly those of CSA}, rarely works, and that most will repeat offend.
It was also acknowledged that the number of “false cases” of accusations, are very rare. Both Ralph and I noted that statistically, they are less than 4% and they are nearly zero if it’s a child that’s reporting it.
I stated that I had prepared questions and talking points for the meeting. That I’d be willing to share them with them via email, but that I’d only do that if they promised to provide actual responses to them in writing. I didn’t feel that I got a clear positive response on that and to date, I have NOT sent my list to them formally. However, I may in the near future.
After meeting discussions:
When discussing if there was “hierarchy” to the ministry, the sister worker that I was having a conversation with all but denied that there is “organization” or that they could be classified as an “organization” I felt, and noted directly with her, that she was parsing words with me, and there, most certainly, is organization and there is “hierarchy” to it. She did not agree. She stated that “some have more responsibilities”, but there weren’t “leaders” (other than god/Jesus).
Original Talking points/Notes/Comments/Questions for the Workers pertaining discovery of CSA/SA throughout the church group (globally) and allegations of cover-ups:
Would like to note the scope of the crisis: ~500 alleged perpetrators of sexual abuse within the church (taken from a few different sources). To date, here in North America, there have been at least 23 workers (or Ex-Workers)/Elders removed, and 3 conventions that have ceased. While the numbers of victims have not been tallied, it’s been reported that those are within the thousands (world-wide). Keep in mind, statistics indicate that nearly 80% of sexual abuse is NOT reported, and the recidivism rate of those who are convicted is very high. Also, instances of false reporting are less than 4%.
1. We are advocating for open and clear written communication moving forward. Due to integrity issues and the image that leadership is inept, can we agree that this is truly the only path forward? If so, what’s the plan? (Note that the only written and publicized communication is worker lists).
Here are a few suggestions:
a. Please take note and record all the questions in this meeting all the meetings that are literally happening all of the States and Canada this week, compile the questions, and publish written responses to them. There are already a few websites that have been created, I can assemble that information and get it to Ray if he already isn’t aware of it where this information can be published openly.
b. Then have a second meeting (say on a Wednesday night when all are normally gathered together anyway) at someone’s home that is technologically literate and have a mass video conference call (say entire eastern seaboard – or by time zone) that addresses all the questions (summarized) and outlines a what the current policy is moving forward with those who have been convicted or have allegations of sexual abuse. Note that the Wings for Truth website has a written “code of conduct” related to CSA/SA. https://wingsfortruth.info/2023/04/01/csa-code-of-conduct-2013/
c. Provide some written open guidance on what the actual doctrine is. This is due to differences that are present in a global (and even regional setting here with the US). In addition to theology (things like trinity, celibate & itinerant ministry, etc), this should also include things like dress, adornment, technology (i.e. TVs, computers, etc), taking part in meeting if divorced, etc.
2. We have a question specifically for the sister workers here today. This is due to reports that are publicized on Wings for Truth site, and the lack of a credible rebuttal that refutes the treatment of the sisters, and our care for them. Question: were you told to not answer questions? If so, was there an explanation as to why?
3. Following up on the previous question, does anyone know if the meeting minutes indicated on the Wing for Truth website from the Milford NH Town Hall are accurate? Has anyone here reviewed them?
4. Do you have a complete list of how many people (workers/friends) there are with CSA/SA accusations?
5. What is the official stance on those who have been convicted or have accusations of SA as it relates to attending meetings/conventions/funerals/preps?
6. Other than police, who do we contact to notify that a person has accusations that can then be noted on the repository that’s made public? We are advocating for a collective database that is (or can be centralized). Do you agree with that approach, if not, why, and what’s the plan?
7. How will individuals with CSA/SA accusations/convictions be prevented from attending meetings/conventions/preps?
8. Questions directly for Ray & Barry (if present):
a. Why did it take someone calling Ray to finally get Leslie White completely banned from meetings?
b. Is Peter Mousseau (NH) still allowed to attend meetings/conventions/preps? If not, when was he told that he was no longer allowed to attend?
c. Are there others we should know about?
9. Rochelle and I have both discussed this at length, and we honestly feel like we don’t have a clear understanding. We have also noted to each other that we have not felt free to even ask this question (which we now wonder why that is). Can you please describe the hierarchy of the ministry. How does one become an overseer? Who is the overseer of the entire planet?
10. Similarly, can women sit in positions of overseers? If not, why?
11. Finally, questions related to money – its access, its distribution, and the amount. We feel this is important to ask in the context of CSA (and for other reasons open and clear communication and transparency).
a. How is money distributed within the work? Who has control of that money? How much of that money has been used for legal counsel?
b. If a worker is accused of sexual abuse, are legal fees paid from the donations of the friends?
c. Can some of that money be used to subsidize help for victims? We understand that has happened in the past (i.e. Jean Austin (Trotter) – but funds were cut off to her by Ray Hoffmann in 2016)?
Arthur Kennedy Ross was convicted of sexual assault and sentenced to two years’ imprisonment. His application to appeal the sentence was dismissed in 1994.
Edited by WINGS to add further information:
He was subsequently sentenced to 16 years for sexual assault and was declared a dangerous offender after it was determined that he had threatened a staff member. He was released some time before mid 2014. https://ca.vlex.com/vid/r-v-ross-681381973
He has been attending gospel meetings this past year. The Workers spoke to police and were told that because gospel meetings were in a public place, there was nothing they could do to stop him from coming. He was told to sit at the back and be the first one to leave. The last few meetings that were held he came with his daughter and he lingered at the back, but never spoke with anyone (because everyone knew who he was). It was very uncomfortable for those who faithfully attended with children. He was not allowed fellowship meetings due to the homes being privately owned.
David Wesley Carter (born 1968) was convicted in 2004 of a 1998 Child Molestation offence in Chatham GA and sentenced to imprisonment for five years.
See https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2001/06/08/indictment-claims-man-used-net-to-entice-girl-2/
Carter had developed a relationship with a 12 year old girl on the internet and had also driven to Florida several times to molest the girl. Her parents found out when they received a call from a flower shop who were arranging delivery of 12 yellow roses to the 12 year old.
Carter had been a police dispatcher with the campus police department of the Savannah-Chatham County Public Schools.
WINGS Note: Updated July 11, 2023.
He has been going to meeting in Eden NC and attending Denton NC convention.
He is on the North Carolina Sex Offender Registry as a result of the out-of-state conviction.
Carter was removed from all meetings in North Carolina on July 10, 2023. Families who attended meetings with David were notified of the reason for his removal, and one person was asked by his workers to provide a public announcement for the purposes of reaching current and former members of the church who may have met with David in the past. Please share this with anyone you may know who has attended meetings near Savannah, Georgia and Eden, North Carolina.
The following letter is a collective cry from some of us who love the fellowship that we have enjoyed and are horrified and heartbroken over the recent revelations of years of Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Abuse within our fellowship and the handling of these situations. These revelations have highlighted a need for accountability and meaningful change within the structure of the ministry. We are aware that we have many honest and loving workers who seek to point us to Jesus and they are feeling overwhelmed and hurt by all of this as well. We seek only to encourage and support them and each other with a healthier fellowship and ministry.
This letter is written in two parts. The first part is addressed to three specific overseers pleading that they examine themselves and take responsibility for what has happened under their watch. The second part is written to the broader church with a suggestion for a path forward. It is our sincere desire that the path forward is led by God and is scripturally sound and thus it needs further thought, prayer and guidance by the church.
This letter was not written in haste, anger or bitterness but with serious and prayerful input from many people over the last couple of months as we have sought confirmation from the Holy Spirit.
If this letter reflects the cry of your heart, you can support it by adding your signature. The letter will be open for signatures until July 17, 2023.
To Ray Hoffmann, Barry Barkley, and Dale Shultz:
We are writing this in good faith and out of great concern for the state of our fellowship and ministry. We have enjoyed many years of fellowship and we have a love for one another and for our ministers who love and point us to Jesus. Most importantly we have a love for God, and a sincere desire to know Him better through His son. We feel profound hurt, disappointment, and righteous anger as revelations of abuse, coverup, and mistreatment continue to come to light. We are sorrowful over those who have felt they must leave the fellowship because of these things. While CSA/5A is horrific and the most pressing issue that needs to be resolved, these past days have revealed there are many other things in our fellowship and ministry that are not Christlike, including:
The continued lack of a spirit of deep humility and repentance by you specifically is distressing. The apostle John asks us to try the spirits, and when we do that, we find ourselves asking – where is the Christlike response? Where is the asking ‘”what can we do to help?” Where is the compassion? Where is the sackcloth and ashes? How can the church be expected to believe you didn’t have knowledge of so many of these crimes and moral shortcomings, when over and over people have spoken and indicated your awareness, and even mistreatment of them for bringing the accusations forward?
Three specific examples involve Ira Hobbs, Leslie White and Robert Corfield. We continue to read honest and heartfelt accounts by those who testify that you had knowledge of a buses by these men, as well as others, over the course of years. Indeed, there are numerous accounts of weaponizing our faith and using fear to silence and shame people for bringing legitimate CSA/SA and other concerns forward. In some cases, people have been removed from meetings because they dared to speak up about the abuse and wrong in the ministry. These situations are examples of a failure of leadership and do not reflect a Spirit led ministry.
There are two accounts in the Bible that come to mind of appropriate responses to shortcomings. The first is in 2 Sam 12 when Nathan came to David after he had sinned. Nathan said to David “Thou art the man.” David, the King in the highest place of authority, immediately said “I have sinned against the Lord.” When he learned what the consequences of his decision would be, the loss of a little one, he fasted and laid in sackcloth – a sign of real humility and sorrow.
The other account is that of Jonah when he came to Nineveh and told them of their sin and imminent destruction. The people of the city and even the king himself put on sackcloth and sat in ashes out of sorrow and repentance.
The church is saying to you: “Thou art the man”. The church is playing the part of Jonah. We are now months into these heartbreaking accounts being shared – where is the true sorrow? Where is the turning and repenting? Where is the Spirit led response? The actions to right these wrongs? There should be tears streaming down your cheeks out of compassion for all those who have been wronged and out of a deep repentance for your decisions. The apologies and actions of removing CSA offenders recently have come only after great pressure and exposure. While the decisions you were making were perhaps well- meaning at the time, the results have been undeniably poor. The fact that so many in our fellowship are hurting and crying out is evidence of these results.
You are the leaders of our ministry. In any organization, the culture and the tone are set by those in authority. It was as true in the time of the Kings in the Bible as it is now. It has become overwhelmingly clear that within our fellowship there are systemic problems that have resulted from decisions that are not scripturally sound or Spirit led. There has been a profound loss of trust and confidence in the leadership of our ministry. We cannot reasonably expect that the same men that led us into this situation can be the same men to lead us out. If what was happening in our fellowship was happening in any other group, there would be no choice but for leadership to step down for the good of the organization. Further, in the workplace, those committing or covering up serious crimes like these would be immediately fired. Heaven rejoices when even one lost sheep is found – are you willing to step down if it means the faith of even one soul is preserved?
Ray, Barry and Dale -the healing of the church cannot begin until there are real, meaningful changes in leadership. Wouldn’t it be better if the decision to step down came from a place of true humility and realization, rather than due to the call of others? To humbly take accountability and responsibility for past wrongs, as the highest authorities in our church? We truly hope you can examine yourselves, let the spirit of Jesus reign In your hearts, and humbly take the lower place.
To the church for consideration: a possible solution
The revelations of the past few months have highlighted a structure that lacks transparency and accountability. We believe our fellowship is precious and we desire it to continue in a healthy, Godly way. As an alternative to address the shortcomings of the current hierarchy and authority, one possible solution could be:
Item # 2 above is only a suggested framework. The role of such councils would need to be further developed by ministers and elders based on their collective understanding of the scriptures and the needs of the church and ministry. Within the body there are many different gifts our friends and workers possess and utilizing their talents along with prayerful, thoughtful consideration, we are confident we can find a better path forward. We are all aware that doing nothing is effectively doing something and it has become abundantly clear the current structure is not healthy and has led to disastrous results for many. Thus, we plead that we would all humbly look to Jesus to be our guide and begin to take Christlike steps forward.
Signed by elders, friends, and former workers who love our fellowship
[Signed by 95 names at the time WINGS posted this report]
The letter is available to be signed at https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfArTnmjoB6sv5gaFkqtGE9Vv4hBG16kOLli1rTGCINUZquVg/viewform
To Elders: This letter is meant for all members of our fellowship. We ask that you share it with your meeting. Our email address may also be shared in case any wish to communicate with us directly. Thank you for facilitating this important conversation.
Dear Friends,
As hosts of the Seneca Convention, we wish to communicate about the current situation as our preps and convention are fast approaching.
The problem: Over the past months, there has been an alarming number of reports of Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) and Sexual Abuse (SA) within our fellowship. Some of these are about recent abuses, while others are speaking up about abuses of years ago. The reports are coming in from ALL OVER the United States, Canada, and around the world. SOME of the stories are about abuses occurring at conventions.
How do we, collectively, promote a safe and spiritually uplifting experience?
On the topic of safety, while the property belongs to the Fisks, the Seneca Convention belongs to all of the people of this fellowship. Every concerned person (and who isn’t concerned?!!) can be committed, as we are, to taking the necessary steps to make the convention as safe as possible for every person, especially our children. This is not a situation for which “someone else” should take responsibility. Each one, every one, must take responsibility for and be invested in the safekeeping of our children. Think “neighborhood watch”!
We are very thankful for each one who is speaking up, educating themselves and others, finding solutions, and committed to being part of the solution, committed to making the obviously necessary and significant changes to provide safe gatherings. One part of the solution is a zero-tolerance approach to any CSA/SA behavior on our property. Any allegation will be taken seriously and acted on accordingly. And any known person with allegations about them will be requested to leave.
We are looking forward to, praying for, and hopeful of having a spiritually uplifting convention. If there are any who are reluctant to attend, that is also understandable, and we support your decision.
If any have questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us: [redacted]
Sincerely,
The Fisks
PS. from Kyle: Having experienced CSA myself, I have personal experience with what it takes to be healed. If any would like to talk about it with me, I am readily available for that conversation, too.
From Dawn
Difficult things are hard to go through, hard to share and hard to explain. Each victim is at different stages. There’s fear, we’re fragile, we hurt, we’re angry at times, we want hope. My name is Dawn Magsam from Wisconsin.
I’ve waited to write this. I’ve waited to share with many. Some do know my story. Others I’ve wanted to share for a long time but have waited for God’s timing. I feel my story, my healing through much pain and sorrow can and could help another. My hope is to give hope and show grace to others. That has been my wish everyday for myself and for all.
Statistics are high. There are many more victims that are not ready to share. Be gentle and kind. Possibly some are showing unkindness, looking the other way. Maybe they too are ones not yet ready to deal with their own pain.
My mother passed away 6 years ago. A few months later my box broke in my mind and my heart broke too. Things I had greatly suppressed I relived again. My loving immediate family and a few close ones have been so supportive, along with healing time and professional help that I still need to continue with today.
My mother married Bob Muller when I was 7. The abuse by Bob started before they were married and continued until I was 16. In a family setting with sexual abuse there is also emotional and narcissism abuse. I am from a lineage of 6 generations of sexual abuse. But it stops with me. I did not abuse my children, thankfully I have a loving supportive husband that is not an abuser. I knew enough to protect my children but still such confusion, twisted emotionally when keeping that relationship with the abuser until these last few years. So difficult to comprehend let alone explain.
Recently I have requested that Bob no longer attend any meetings. My request was listened to. Thank you from myself and others. It is very very traumatizing to be in meetings with an abuser or know they are there.
This was brought to his meeting and the workers 4 1/2 years ago. I do not bring this attention to them at this time. Today, we all need to do better and have grace together. We have so much to gain if we can do this. Yes we need to hurt, but when ready we need to choose to heal. I know everyone has a right to how they feel in their experience. Please know this is just how I feel in mine.
Because of where I’m at in my healing I feel strong. But also fragile and weak at times. Others’ experiences I can so relate to. As hard as they are to read we cry, we hurt and are angry, and we hopefully heal a little more. There is more I can share of my experience when it can be helpful. We can heal and we are worth it, but again it takes time. God is real and helps us too.
Hold space for each other. You don’t have to have words. Just hold space and let them know it when you can. I myself have not reached out to so many I think of during my healing time. But I think of you. I’m there for you in my heart.
When you are ready, reach out to a professional. When I was ready, the right ones were available for me. We each might heal in a different way, different format. Believe in that, you are worth it and I am too.
I now have grandchildren that are the future. Our children and their spouses are also a part of the future, so are we. I hope to be one of the strong, gracious examples they and others need. And I hope for many more around them. And all precious children. God can help us be that.
I believe you, I hold space for you. I hurt with you, and I hope for you.
All have my permission to share this post. I do not reply on Facebook at this time. I am starting to send this out to some. Please know if you did not get this from me directly you have been thought of.
Date: July 9, 2023 at 23:13:09 EDT
To: NC/VA/MD/DE
Subject: Notice regarding Loren Spellman
Dear NC/VA/MD/DE Friends,
I’m reaching out to you regarding Loren Spellman, who is no longer in the work.
Over the past few weeks friends and workers shared with me experiences regarding Loren’s behavior which crossed boundaries of appropriate conduct pertaining to women. In recent hours we received a credible allegation of CSA made by an adult living outside of our region about contact that occurred while she was a child.
I am very sorry for everyone who has experienced hurt and discomfort as a result of Loren’s actions.
Loren is not to attend meetings at this time.
If you, your children, or anyone else has had any interactions with Loren or anyone else constituting CSA or SA, please contact the local authorities.
If you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to reach out to me or any of the workers.
Your brother,
Jim Holt
WINGS Note: Loren was in the work for over 40 years, laboring in Kansas, Colorado, Iowa, Nebraska, Tennessee, Pennsylania, New Jersey, Delaware, Virginia, North Carolina, West Virginia, Maryland and South Carolina.
Introduction by the group “Connected and Concerned Friends”
A week ago, we received the attached letter from a worker who viewed the Connected and Concerned Friend’s forum. The writer’s intention was to post it publicly, but we have chosen to protect their identity.
While this letter is written by one individual, we believe it represents the views of enough people in the ministry to warrant a response. We appreciate that this letter gives us another opportunity to explain the purpose of this community. This forum was created to keep individuals informed, connected, and working toward positive change within the fellowship, specifically in response to the crisis of child and adult sexual abuse. In all of this, the goal is to uphold Jesus and support the healthy examination of traditions. Our effort isn’t about making Jesus less, it’s about making Him everything, as in Him there is no abuse, deceit, or harm.
Genuine faith in Jesus is not fragile and will stand up to questions, discomfort, and introspection. We believe that our fellowship will be strengthened (not weakened) by healthy examination, transparent communication, acknowledgment of wrong, and by advocating for meaningful policies and the lawful response to crimes.
We have attached the original letter (name redacted) and have also included our response to that letter directly below this introduction. Our team wants to acknowledge and thank the many workers and friends who are showing compassion, wisdom, and courage in our current crisis. As always, we appreciate your respectful comments and thank you for continuing to adhere to our Code of Conduct.
From the Connected and Concerned Friends Hosts
CONNECTED AND CONCERNED FRIENDS RESPONSE TO LETTER
Prior to our point by point response below, one of our hosts wrote this after reading this worker’s letter to us, and we wish to include this in our opening:
Friends,
I recently returned from a camping trip to the North Shore of Minnesota. As my husband and I pulled into our camping spot for the night, I received the aforementioned letter. I read it quickly before setting up camp and tried pushing the thoughts of it away so I was able to focus on my family. But that night as I pondered the letter and stared into the flames of our campfire, I was wondering how Moses knew that the bush was burning but not being consumed. It’s easy enough to see that a bush is on fire, but possibly harder to realize that it isn’t burning away. When I was watching those logs, it was pretty obvious that the only way he knew they weren’t burning up, is if he stopped and studied their unwithering leaves with curiosity. Only then did God speak to Moses out of the bush and show him the plan for saving Israel out of Egypt.
Why do I mention this? Because for the last several months there have been many in our fellowship who have viewed our current situation with panic. Friends and workers alike have tried with all of their might to put out the fire and return everything to “normal”. The woeful part of this response is that they are not beholding the church with wonder and seeing that while it is currently engulfed with flames, it isn’t consumed. They are not looking at individuals who feel righteous anger and genuinely marvelling that their faith in Jesus isn’t consumed. That although their trust in the system is completely shattered – that their desire to have fellowship isn’t consumed. That although their lifelong dreams of raising children in a seemingly idyllic tradition has crumbled – that their trust in a glorious God isn’t consumed. That although they’ve borne abuse and neglect – that their hope in a righteous God isn’t consumed. How can people be so thoroughly encompassed with fire, yet not consumed? It is because God is in it.
We are collectively a burning bush – completely encompassed with righteous anger – yet not consumed with despair because our faith is in the Living God. How can we speak of such horrifying crimes, such disgusting abuse of power, such wretched deceit, and still believe that there is beauty to attain to? Because we are burning, but not consumed. We ask that our fellowship stop trying to quench the righteous fire, and instead marvel that God is in His people.
So, how do we marvel at a church that is completely engulfed and not rush to quench it? This is how: we listen to people. We validate their broken trust. We learn from the most vulnerable, whose voices had long ago been silenced. We reach out our shaking and weary hands to other hurting people. We focus on Jesus – the glorious and mighty Savior, and lay aside any falsehood that man or form is the answer to our salvation. And this is the point of our effort: to marvel at the church that should be destroyed, but somehow in its people, there’s a kernel of genuine faith still very much alive.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a worker in my state. On this day they confided in me that it was hard to take criticism from individuals who are encompassed with righteous anger even though there is shared urgency. I said “I’ll stand in the gap for you.” I wasn’t sure what that would look like, but I was genuine in my offer to take some of the heat. Shortly after, I was asked to be a host on this platform and I very much see myself in that place. Standing in the gap. Taking the heat of emotion and betrayal and distrust from a church in flames. Taking some of the heat and channelling those emotions into a more productive avenue of activism. All so that maybe, just maybe, we can have a stronger and healthier fellowship when the smoke clears.
RESPONSE TO WORKER’s LETTER
The below text is a combination of documents. For ease of reading:
Black Text: One worker’s thoughts and concerns.
Green Text: Our team’s answer to their concerns/questions.
Blue Text: Copied sections of the Encouraging Thoughts letter.
________
Dear Connected and Concerned Friends,
I have some questions and suggestions for this group (5 main questions, 5 main suggestions, 5 pages). There are many in this group that I know, love, and respect. I don’t want them to be taken up in something that is evil and against the will of God.
I sure don’t feel like I have all the answers and some of the things I say here could be totally wrong! Please forgive any of my misunderstandings. Thanks for giving me a safe place to share my feelings. Please consider and help me to be assured that this group is on the track:
QUESTIONS
1) What is the purpose of this group? The purpose of our platform is to advocate for meaningful change within the fellowship we love, by focusing on Jesus instead of tradition.
2) Where do you get your information? The letters from workers are shared by members who get that information from their staff. CSA/SA news is typically received from the workers, personal accounts, or AFTT and Wings.
3) Why are you doing what you are doing? As stated above, our mission is to advocate for meaningful change within the fellowship (particularly CSA/SA and root causes of abuse).
4) Who started this group? This forum started as encouraging texts between friends and acquaintances. Shane and Devon developed an app to keep our conversations going in a more organized way. The rest of the team followed shortly after to share concerns, hope, and possible solutions.
5) What is the end goal of this group? Our team would love it if this community conversation led to a furthering of cooperation between the ministry and friends. Through cooperation we desire to enact changes that address CSA/SA abuse, root causes, communication, and a refocusing of the fellowship on Jesus instead of tradition.
SUGGESTIONS
1) Don’t Go Too Far
Sometimes a strong reaction is necessary. An extreme overreaction is never the answer. When you are driving you might get very close to the edge of the road. There is a real and significant danger. Does that mean you should jerk the wheel as hard and fast as you can away from the edge? You will probably roll the vehicle and get yourself and those riding with you killed or seriously injured. We are aware that the issue of child sexual abuse, sexual abuse in all its forms, is a very serious issue. The danger is real. Does that warrant an extreme overreaction? Emotions can cloud judgment. Emotions are high. Enemies of God and His people have been given great occasion to blaspheme. Old wounds have been torn open again. We can’t let all of that cloud our vision. We shouldn’t make hasty decisions. We must be sure they are the right ones. It is good that some have been outspoken about the issue for the sake of those who have suffered abuse and for the sake of our fellowship. I fear some might take liberties they shouldn’t. Even if we are the victims of abuse or feel we should defend those who are or could be in danger of being, it gives us NO right to: slander, harass, spread lies, falsely accuse, try to change the perfect way God has made, become self-righteous, or many other ways we could err.
We agree that no one should be spreading lies, slandering, or harassing anyone on the platform. Our Code of Conduct is clearly stated and we have a team of 13 people (currently) who monitor posts and comments in real time. An urgent and bold stance on CSA/SA and the examination of root causes is not an overreaction.
2) Be Realistic
Many have been hurt. Some assert that we need to “make sure this never happens again!” That is impossible. We can’t eliminate all risks. We would have to be all-knowing, all-powerful, and supervise everyone 24/7 so we could intervene when they are about to make an error. Even with our best of efforts and protocols, if people are involved, there will be risk. Should we put cameras in all of the families’ homes? Should we put GPS trackers on everybody? Should we live in communes with glass walls so everybody is always supervised? Don’t let your emotions trump reason.
The traditions of our fellowship (particularly focusing on form/outward appearance, imbalance of power, and not wanting to “gossip”, etc.) have created a culture that allows perpetrators to operate with ease. No one is saying we should have cameras and GPS trackers. There are solutions that have proven effective at reducing abuse and we are advocating for those policies. (Zero-tolerance policies, prevention strategies, education, third party investigation of accusations, balance of power, transparency, communication, etc.)
3) Be Patient
People often urge us to “Do Something!”. It is said that caution is the greater part of wisdom. We are wise to be cautious. We are dealing with very serious issues and pressure to act can build rapidly. The immediate reaction is not always the best one.
We understand that policy changes, nationwide consistency, and the rebuilding of trust will take time. But patience is not the same as passivity. We hold patience for the process of meaningful changes, but we do not have patience for inaction and half-hearted attempts.
4) Remember The Goal
I understand Connected and Concerned Friends to be a group wanting to help us address the issue of sexual abuse. Is it? I would hate for it to become:
– A hate group against God, His people, and His ministry.
– A group that uses the issue of sexual abuse as a weapon to advance its own personal agenda.
It would be shameful to use those who have suffered abuse to try and impose warped human ideas on the people of God.
CCF has always been about encouraging healthy and much needed change within the fellowship. There is no hidden agenda. Our fellowship will be strengthened (not weakened) by healthy examination, transparent communication, acknowledgment of wrong, and by advocating for meaningful policies and the lawful response to crimes.
5) Retract and Revise the ‘SupportiveLetterToTheWorkers’.
I hope whoever put this letter together had good intentions. It seems full of misunderstanding. I found it alarming and offensive. It reflects very badly on the Connected and Concerned Friends group and perhaps completely misrepresents the opinions of the members. Here are my feelings and concerns:
“To the workers advocating for change”
Please explain ‘change’. What kind of change are you looking for? Do you want better understanding of and action in dealing with the sexual abuse issue? That is a reasonable and much-needed change. Do you want to make the way of God and His ministry into what you want it to be in your human thinking? That never goes well. Read Numbers 16 for one example.
The letter you are referencing is a compilation of messages from members. This was a collaborative effort with no single author. The letter was sent by individuals who wanted to encourage their workers to listen and advocate for change. The change we are advocating for is an appropriate response to CSA/SA (which includes: prevention, education, third party investigation of accusations, balance of power, transparency and communication.)
Reminder:
Blue text: Encouraging Thoughts letter (written by multiple individuals)
Black text: One worker’s thoughts.
Green Text: Our team’s response.
“We see you. We appreciate you. We care for you. We are so thankful for your continuous effort to restore trust and to create a safer community. We need you. We can’t imagine how tremendously difficult it is for you right now. You’re hearing the desperate cries just as we are. You’re processing the layers of betrayal and distrust just as we are. You’re realizing how you’ve contributed to a silent and unsafe community, just as we are.”
You are very quick to focus on the ministry, perhaps putting all blame on the ministry, but what about your part in contributing to a silent and unsafe community? Is it not more likely that all of us: Workers, Friends, parents, siblings, everybody, have had a lack of knowledge and action that has contributed to problems with sexual abuse?
We agree that there is need for everyone to be more thoroughly educated on CSA/SA and that a balance of power between friends and ministry would be a healthy and overdue change. However, recent revelations have shown that our system of ministry is especially conducive to these types of abuse. Despite parent’s best efforts to keep children safe in their own homes and meetings, these abuses have continued to happen by authority figures (with the majority of those accusations involving workers). We are not “blaming” workers, we are observing that the patterns of abuse are particularly potent in our ministry. Part of our contribution to a safer community involves addressing the reason that these abuses are prevalent in the first place. Unfortunately, most efforts of addressing the systemic patterns of abuse have garnered little response or action from the ministry. We are willing to collaborate on this issue with friends and workers alike.
“There seems to be an expectation for you to suddenly get everything perfectly right without proper training. While you’re still hurting. Sometimes your heartfelt, best-intentioned words are attacked, your intentions misinterpreted.”
Those in this group don’t seem to have any qualms about attacking and misinterpreting others, attacking and misinterpreting the ministry especially.
This was a statement from a member who seems to be expressing their understanding that there is a lot of expectation put on the workers. This statement was meant to convey compassion for the workers, not to attack the ministry. In terms of attacking language on our platform, our Code of Conduct clearly states that people in our community must share their feelings in a respectful way, and we have a team of moderators to hold that standard. We understand that you and others may feel uncomfortable reading certain comments, simply because of the nature of the topics we are discussing. If you feel like people are misunderstanding you, we encourage you to engage in a respectful conversation with them and explain your point of view.
“We see you trying, and for that we are so thankful. We want to encourage you to keep fighting, keep working for justice, for safety, for the victim-survivors, for the women, children, and men in the fellowship. It’s ok if it’s not perfect from the first try. We often learn best from the act of trying. We promise to do our best to be gracious and understanding with our feedback.”
Thanks for this. We in the ministry need a lot of help and support and correction. I read many of the comments on the Connected and Concerned Friends site that give me the feeling of underlying resentment of the ministry. Can such a group adequately support the ministry in its efforts?
There is certainly a feeling of distrust and scepticism toward the workers by some of the friends. These feelings are a natural response to repeatedly witnessing victim stories being ignored, belittled, covered up, and dismissed by members of the ministry. In terms of our platform supporting the ministry, we believe that giving the community a place to share those feelings is how we begin the process of healing trust.
While all of this is going on, you’re expected to maintain your position and routine in the ministry – continuing to visit homes, continuing gospel meetings and conventions, continuing to “be there” for everyone around you – while you’re struggling to process everything yourself.
I’m glad you understand this.
We do, and we appreciate how exhausting this process is for everyone involved.
“The ministry you’ve given your life to has betrayed you. Your companions, your overseers, those you’ve looked to for guidance, those you’ve confided in.”
The ministry has betrayed us? Really? That is an appalling accusation and misunderstanding. Some of our Friends have made very bad choices that hurt others. Do we say, “Our fellowship and Friends have betrayed us!”? No, it is INDIVIDUALS who have betrayed us.
I believe the betrayal that this member is referring to is the system of how our ministry operates (hierarchy, lack of transparency, no legal recourse) that has led to a culture where these crimes are able to happen and go unchecked.
“And yet, you continue to have a love for the ministry, a love for souls. And that’s why you keep fighting. You know God is still reigning, that God is righteous in His judgment and cares so deeply for the victim-survivors you’re fighting for.”
I agree God still reigns, is righteous in His judgment, and cares deeply for all hurt by abuse. You’re not sure how much longer your boss is going to be in his position. And yet you feel compelled to continue under his direction. There are so many conflicting commands surrounding you: from the concerned, from the victim-survivors, from the young workers, from the head workers, from those asking you to be silent.” Who is ‘our boss’? Do you mean the overseer(s)? The overseer of the state I’m in is not my boss. He doesn’t think he is and he doesn’t want to be! This statement is a total misrepresentation of the ministry and overseers. I have spent a lot of time with several overseers. Sure, some overseers have done wrong and haven’t been true to their calling. Does that make the rest of them wrong? Did Judas’s failure make the rest of the apostles wrong? Did they need to totally reform the ministry because he fell? You seem to misunderstand the role of an overseer. An overseer isn’t the one who ‘makes all the decisions’ and ‘has absolute authority’, though he certainly gets blamed for decisions if people don’t like them! It is not a position we covet for personal gain. Sisters and brothers aren’t standing in line to become overseers. The burdens and responsibilities are great. The pressure is great. The criticism is great as Connected and Concerned Friends and other groups undeniably prove. It is horrible that you would disrespect overseers as a whole, men who are giving their lives and are willing to fill such a difficult role.
We do not disrespect overseers as a whole, but the characterization that overseers do not have the authority is not true. We need a culture of introspection that examines this hierarchy so that a multitude of diverse perspectives can help guide the fellowship forward.
We in the ministry, overseers included, are servants working together. We are subject to God, each other, and the needs of all. God is our boss and He will be in power forever. It is appalling to say that someone else is ‘our boss’.
This was a comment from a member, and the term “boss” was an unfortunate choice. I think we can understand that this person was referring to the very obvious fact that the overseer holds some authority over other workers. Just like all of us have a natural boss at work, your overseer is yours. They are the ones who assign what field you preach in, which companion you will be with, where to go for convention preparations, etc. Again, the word that this individual chose wasn’t helpful, but it also wasn’t inaccurate.
“We encourage you to continue to listen to the voice that matters the most: our Heavenly Father’s. And while we long to be an encouragement and support to you, we know that He is the greatest source of comfort, hope, and support for you, as well as us.”
That’s good advice! This letter seems like poisoned honey; there are some good thoughts, but also many that are toxic.
An encouragement to examine root causes and traditions may be uncomfortable, but it is not toxic.
“And here are some words of encouragement that folks from our group (a group of nearly 1400 friends supporting you)”
Our group. I thought we were the family of God and all in this together. Why do you need to organize into a special group? Whenever people organize in such a way, it typically doesn’t lead to good things. They feed on each other’s anger and misunderstanding and feel empowered to go beyond what is true, right, decent, and acceptable. Mob mentality enters into the picture. I hope this group hasn’t become or doesn’t become a hate group against workers, against God, and against His people.
Again, this forum is moderated and held to the standard of our Code of Conduct. This forum hopes to encourage change from within the fellowship, not form a hate group outside of it. In terms of organizing, Human beings naturally organize. Conventions, meetings, worker state staffs, and work days are other examples of ways that humans organize into groups of people. Cultural bias is a genuine concern for any large group, including our fellowship as a whole, so we must be diligent to focus on Jesus.
“Truth sets us free. Any delay in removing predators implies guilt or complicity. Survivors have waited decades, years to feel safe in fellowship. Thank you for ensuring meetings are a refuge, not a torture chamber.”
I can see the importance of dealing with predators wisely, which could involve conviction, removal from fellowship, whatever is appropriate. I can see the importance of being sensitive to those who have suffered abuse and not forcing them to be in company with a person(s) who would make them feel unsafe. I feel like supporting those who have suffered abuse is a critical issue in all that has happened lately.
However, this letter makes it seem like the two ways this group wants to accomplish this are:
1) Take control of the ministry. Untrue. We wish to work alongside workers in the ministry.
2) Attack those who have been accused of sexual abuse. Perpetrators of sexual abuse must be handled by professionals. We have no desire to attack individuals, but discussing their actions may feel unsavory based on the nature of those crimes.
There is a lot more to helping the problem than removing known predators and somehow reforming the ministry: Yes. We must examine root causes.
Removing known predators is important, but what about supporting those who have made mistakes and repented? Yes. Professionals can support perpetrators. We are not the judge of any person’s salvation, and their fellowship needs can be met in many ways outside of meeting.
How do we keep children safe from those who we don’t know are sexual predators? Education, prevention systems (such as provided by GRACE organization), and meaningful no tolerance policies.
How do we balance trust and precaution? Meaningful policies, transparency, and communication will result in both protection for children and an increase in trust.
What about fostering love and having a conscience toward God, rather than police force and written policies? What about the unity of the Spirit rather than unity of political will? Love toward God motivates us to advocate for meaningful policies to protect our most vulnerable. The Spirit will always move us to protect and serve one another.
What about actually wanting God’s will to be done rather than our own? Jesus protected the vulnerable, defended the children, cared for the widows, and provided for the poor – the Will of God is very clearly in favor of protecting the vulnerable.
What about teaching your children, while they are in a safe environment, how to keep safe when they are out in the world? Yes, parents have been doing this for generations. Ironically, parent’s feel that keeping their children safe in public situations is less difficult than keeping them safe from perpetrators in their meetings and homes.
What about making Jesus the priority in a family’s home? Of course.
What about maintaining a good spirit in the home? Of course.
I fear for the children whose parents are involved in a group that would have such tunnel vision and misunderstanding. What kind of spirit are those parents bringing into their home? A spirit of hate and disrespect for the ministry? A spirit of pride and self-righteousness? A spirit of scorn and vengeance? Hopefully nobody in this group has that kind of a spirit and I am simply misunderstanding where you are coming from. You really need to revise this letter if that is the case.
Being aware of problems isn’t the same as having a spirit of hatred. The feeling of righteous anger is not the spirit of disrespect. The feeling of urgency isn’t the spirit of pride. When faced with such wretched crimes and deeds within our own fellowship, we absolutely should feel alert, angry, urgent, and motivated to do something. These are appropriate feelings to experience and help to teach our children the importance of valuing and helping the vulnerable.
“Jesus doesn’t change, but we must. For all of these years, we have not. Seems like we’ve focused more on Paul than on Jesus (more on appearance than the weightier matters). We completely support all of your efforts to be more like Jesus. We are trying to do the same.”
Where did this thought come from? Have you even read Acts and Paul’s letters? If that’s what we get from his life and teachings, we don’t understand Paul at all. Paul encouraged those he wrote to and labored among to focus on Jesus. He was focused on the weighty matters. Paul’s life and writings help us to focus on Jesus. If we began focusing on Paul, wouldn’t we realize he points us to Jesus as the One we should focus on? Of course, we as humans are prone to focusing on appearance rather than what is really important, but to say that Paul has led us astray to focus on appearance rather than the weighty matters is nonsense.
This comment from a member may have been well meaning, but we agree, does misunderstand Paul.
“We are here, “waiting in the wings” to help with anything we possibly can. To support you, to work with you, to facilitate the needed changes within our fellowship. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with anything we can do to be of help for the greater work currently happening.
Finally, if you are not ok, that is ok. There is support available, and it is ok to seek out that support. With a unified purpose for truth, honesty, and God’s will to be done, Connected & Concerned Friends”
Nice words, but I wish the rest of the letter gave me more confidence in the group. Based on other parts of the letter, if I needed help, I would certainly go elsewhere.
There are many resources available, and we encourage you to find help and support in the way that best serves you.
ANALYSIS OF LETTER BY A CCF GROUP PROFESSIONAL
When we are discussing issues as complex and vulnerable as child and adult sexual abuse within a church, a bilateral and ongoing conversation is ideal. It could be unwise to attempt to understand the heart and mind of a representative of the ministry based on this letter. Still, there are questions we might ask, things we might be curious about.
While logical fallacies do not automatically destroy effective communication, they hinder it. The listener is left sorting through the illogic, confused and baffled by what is being communicated. The focus is taken away from the original concern. When reading this letter, the reader knows the routes the writer does not want to take but does not hear what the writer considers a better path forward.
Our concerns about this letter and ideas presented in it:
Our faith group has been long plagued by sexual abuse of children and adults, the hiding and enabling of that abuse, as well as lack of transparency or communication about the structure, power, and finances of the authorities: Overseers, workers, elders. While many have been suffering from the abuse for generations, some have become newly aware of the depth and breadth of the problem. People feel betrayed, deeply wounded, mistrustful, afraid, sick, devastated. It is in this climate that this worker’s letter was written and attempted to be publicly posted on Connected and Concerned Friends. (Sources, see CSA and SA News, WingsfortheTruth.info, AdvocatesfortheTruth.com)
Here is what a survivor might notice in this letter:
(Please note: survivors will have a variety of responses, and all responses are valid, legitimate, and understandable. We do not speak for all survivors and encourage survivors to speak for themselves if they feel safe doing so)
Here is how a survivor might feel upon reading this letter:
Hurt, confused, angry, betrayed, helpless, shocked, horrified, powerless, ashamed, withdrawn, mistrusting.
Closing comments:
To find a path forward, significant relational repair will be needed. Unfortunately, the thoughts and beliefs expressed in this letter do more to wound those harmed by sexual abuse and the church that is trying to protect them and prevent future abuse.
*** NOTE*** CCF have received feedback to this letter. See the PDF below.
The orignal letter from the worker to the CCF Group
WINGS for Truth 