Meeting guidelines for people with Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) and/or Sexual Abuse (SA) allegations against them in Ontario. August 2023
The goal of this guideline is that children and adults feel safe and comfortable in our meetings and social gatherings.
This guideline sets limitations that we have established.
- You are permitted to attend fellowship meetings where each person in the meeting approves of you being there. Do not attend any meeting if you know one of your victims will be present. If one of your victims arrives at a meeting where you are, you must leave immediately.
- Appropriate contact after meeting means only a handshake if minors and their parents/guardians approve.
- Do not make any physical advances, or make any remarks about attire, appearance, or sexuality. These types of remarks are unwelcome, inappropriate, and unacceptable.
- This includes interactions with adults as well as with minors.
- If children are present, when “after meeting greetings” are finished, do not linger in the room or outside. Go to your vehicle and leave.
- If you are planning to attend a meeting that is not your regular one, call to ask permission, first stating that some limitations have been placed on you.
- If you are planning a trip outside the province, contact the workers in your field. They will contact the workers at your destination. If the area you are visiting does not allow attendance of those with CSA or SA allegations, do not attend.
- If attending special meetings, you must always be accompanied by someone who is aware of the allegations against you, and all restrictions placed on you. Be sure none of your victims will be present.
- Do not put yourself in any situation where someone could question your behaviour.
Failure to comply with these requests may result in all meeting privileges being revoked.
Dear Friends, Aug. 2023
We would like to address Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) and Sexual Abuse (SA) claims that have been raised amongst us. These situations have caused much distress for many people. These feelings of distress are valid. Claims have been raised against some ministers and congregants alike. We are reaching out to organizations for guidance regarding how to help those who have been affected in a time when issues like these were not handled according to today’s standards.
We are thankful for professionals who are helping us become more educated. We have become aware of various aspects of CSA: that there is lifelong damage to victims (in many cases without the understanding of anyone else); that the trauma they experience can take years to manifest itself; and that there may be a need for therapy and/or counselling. We are also learning about the ways of the abuser. We respect those who have been harmed among us and want to learn how to meet their great need for understanding, compassion, and care.
The most important message we would like to convey is our deep sorrow and regret that victims have had to carry a burden for years when what they really needed was the liberty to speak and be heard. We now understand that being heard is an essential step in the healing process. Going forward we want to be part of the solution not part of the problem. We want to do all we can to create a safer environment for all in our fellowship. We are aware of the need to continue learning how to respond properly to any report of child sexual abuse and how to support and direct victims of sexual abuse to sources of professional help for the purpose of healing. We would like to learn how to listen and how to have empathy for victims who are ready to talk. Professionals have made us aware that it is important to respect the timing of when victims want to talk. The proper time is when the survivor chooses to talk.
To help prevent and detect child sexual abuse we have taken and will continue to require each member of our staff to complete the Ministry Safe training course every two years. This course is very helpful and is available for anyone to take.
We do encourage anyone who suspects or is aware of a child or youth under 16 years of age being abused to report it. It is the legal duty of every adult to report his/her concern to a Children’s Aid Society (Child Welfare Worker) in the area where the abuse occurred or to the police (911). You may remain anonymous when making your report if you prefer. (See numbers for your area on separate page.) Anyone who reports abuse should keep his/her own updated notes with details of the who, why, when, and where of the incident that gave rise to the report. We encourage you to be educated on these topics. We encourage parents to be educated about CSA and to educate their children. It is highly recommended that parents watch the parent training video by Ministry Safe that can be found at ministrysafe.com/onlinetrainings under the Parent/Guardian tab.
Throughout Ontario, there are Sexual Assault Centres: www.sadvtreatmentcentres.ca
If you are an adult victim, here is a victim support line in Ontario: 1-888-579-2888
Some other helpful Websites: www.protectchildren.ca
Talking for Change is a Canadian helpline for those seeking support with feelings of attraction towards children: www.talkingforchange.ca
The Ontario Staff
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These “GUIDELINES” are absolutely creepy!!! And, this is for a “religious” organization?! It sounds much more like a gathering of paedophilia freaks. The “guidelines” really state, “****Do not make any physical advances, or make any remarks about attire, appearance, or sexuality. ****These types of remarks are unwelcome, inappropriate, and unacceptable. This includes interactions with adults as well as with minors. **** If children are present, when “after meeting greetings” are finished, do not linger in the room or outside. ****Go to your vehicle and leave. ****If attending special meetings, you must always be accompanied by someone who is aware of the allegations against you, and all restrictions placed on you. Be sure none of your victims will be present.*****Do not put yourself in any situation where someone could question your behaviour.” …..These things actually need to be said? DOES EVERYONE ACCEPT THIS AS NORMAL!!! I, for one, can assure you, it is NOT normal. This is insane. Going into a group, especially a religious group, that NEEDS those guidelines, any sane person (reasonable and sensible) would stay away. Far, far away. But that is just me. I do consider myself reasonable and sensible.
As was stated in a meeting of Friends in our area, even if things are common sense, they need to be stated and formalized that way if something inappropriate takes place, it can be checked against rules put in place. It was likened to having a gate to your yard. A honest person wouldn’t enter your gate, but you lock it anyways. A thief will break the lock or jump over the gate. If they take those actions, they can be held responsible for breaking the rules.
On another point, I have seen many many posts from “For Christ” complaining about how letters are signed, stated, etc when it says “X Field Staff” and the overseers not taking responsibility for their words and actions. It could be hard to view that as a valid argument when they are coming from a person who refuses to sign their own name. If you have a comment, have the courage to attach your name and stand by it.
DAlumbaugh, my family and I have been put through he** by the assault of a worker and then later, by the head worker and elder who covered for the worker who carried out the assault. I need no more assaults, and will not tolerate any more assaults from the workers. I do not have any need to ID myself to you, or anyone else that wants to write drivel. I am known to God, The Lord Almighty and that is awesome and is all that I need. The head workers, on the other hand are public figures, running an organization where it is imperative that those they are leading know who is in charge. If they don’t want to lead and do it with openness and honesty, let someone who can do the job.
So, the Bible isn’t considered common sense? If they aren’t going to take Jesus words for the truth that they are…what makes you think they will this piece of paper? These pedophiles are walking right past the signs that say “Not welcome here” “Do not enter”, etc. CRIMINALS do not care what the law says, or anyone else! Their ONLY focus is, where is my next victim!!??!! Shame on the staff for allowing any of them to attend any meeting. They are NOT coming for Spiritual help, rather they are seeking their next victim. If they truly did want help, they would have turned themselves in, admitted to what they did, admit that it was wrong, and accept the punishment…THAT shows honesty in seeking help. Anything less, is just baloney!
The bottom line is, if so many conditions need to be met for someone to be in a meeting, THEY SHOULDN’T BE THERE!
@Kanne Yes, I agree. This paperwork is ridiculous. When they aren’t willing to turn themselves in to the authorities and suffer the consequenses, they aren’t interested in Spiritual feeding…they are ONLY coming to meeting to prey on the innocent. Just gives me the creeps thinking of them sitting there like a wolf, stalking their next victim!
I agree!! I’m not sure what nut case wrote this, but…NOTHING like this should ever have been drawn up! If the predators aren’t going to adhere to Jesus teachings, they certainly aren’t going to adhere to some silly document. We have SIGNS posted at convention grounds “No Perpetrators of CSA/SA allowed on these grounds”, and the predators are just driving/walking right past them like they deserve to be there! The ministry doesn’t have the faith to believe they can be saved without attending services (Sad, because we see people in the Bible that never attended any and yet,they were saved “Today thou shalt be with me in paradise”.
I spoke to the Washington State Sheriff a couple days ago, and he said, “If these perpatrators truly want to make things right, they will: 1) turn themselves in, 2) admit to their wrongdoing, 3) admit it was wrong, 4) accept the punishment.
When they see this behaviour, then there’s hope that in a few DECADES (with continued therapy, spiritual guidance, and possibly chemical castration) they MAY get help. If not, there’s absolutely NO HOPE, because those steps listed show there’s a hope of honesty, without it, there’s nothing…just more lies and deceipt.
Reading my Bible, The Word of God, the letters wrote to the churches then, were made in to books of The Bible. Why are all the letters now being sent to the churches by the head workers, signed “STAFF”, such as this letter signed, “The Ontario Staff”? The answer is very simple. These ” head workers” can NOT be compared to the wonderful Apostles of Jesus, because they are not. Further, these “head workers” do not have the courage to sign these letters because they are afraid of the law connecting them to awful child sexual assaults they are overseeing. If this organization was made up of actual Christians, and following The Word of God, none of this chaos would be happening.
Some of us are working very hard to try to point to a scriptural setting (the Elders are technically supposed to be the Overseers, the ministry – Jesus referred to them as the “Salt of the Earth” and “The light of the world”. He told Peter, to “Feed the lambs” and “Feed the sheep” Some have misunderstood that Jesus meant for them to be shepherds, but NEVER does He refer to them as a Shepherd, because HE is the Shepherd. Had the Authority not been taken from the Elders all those years ago…the mess wouldn’t be this HUGE! There would have been better checks and balances…which is WHY Jesus set things up the way He did)! But, the Overseers seem to have gone deaf and are reading whatever they want into scripture that doesn’t apply. So, we are frustrated. We are hoping as some of these cases go to trial that perhaps THEN, their willingness for hearing aids will be positive!! But, left as the hierchary is, it will continue to allow poor decisions, which is what has taken place of the past 60+ years.
Sheep are fed by shepherds who lead them to green pastures. Read Ps 23. When Jesus told Peter to “feed my lambs and feed my sheep” he was obviously telling him to serve as a shepherd of his sheep.
@Randy Erickson…. You said it yourself Jesus said to Peter, “Feed MY lambs and feed MY sheep.” HE is the shepherd. There is No other shepherd.
@Randy Erickson…like I said, JESUS never once referred to the disciples as shepherds. They are supposed to be Jesus messengers, to take His message to the world. Which is what Apostles/disciples were & did. Matt 28, Mark 16 & Luke 9 probably makes it most clear.
I wonder why so many people responding to all the posts are anonymous. I give more respect and consideration to messages with a name because I know it takes courage. It is understandable that victims might want anonymity, but even using their name would not reveal their status, because victims’ names are not being revealed. However, their opinions might give these discussions a deeper understanding and more perspective.
You go first – what is your name?
Lol…you’re complaining about everyone else responding anonymously, and yet, that’s exactly what you are doing.
We know there’s a huge problem and SA/CSA has a 5% false allegation reporting. Very few victim-survivors find the strength to come forward (66% will never say a word, because they see the deaf ears that those who have come forward are falling on – which points out how evil, sick, and callous our overseers that are still in those positions have become)! Not one predator should be allowed anywhere near a meeting of any kind!! Please, if you know of one attending, CALL THE POLICE and tell the the ELDER’S name and address, and what day they will be there. Give the police the Overseers names too, so maybe after spending time in jail for being complicit, they will figure out what a horrible experience it is to be violated!
Zero tolerance? I think not.
Did you mean they aren’t truly standing for “Zero tolerance”, or that you disagree with the stand of “Zero Tolerance”?
They aren’t standing for zero tolerance. I am definitely for zero tolerance
@Kareng ok, perfect! I agree. I feel like, if the overseers had a clear conscience they would have no problem taking the Zero Tolerance stance. It’s only “complicated” because they know that God knows …so, in their guilt, they are trying to figure out a way to gain some points with God by being “merciful “. But, what so many don’t understand, is that Mercy isn’t lying to people,
To Randy, read Psalm 23 many times. It says the same as it always did, “the LORD is my shepherd.
Anyone else can be a guide, but in this fellowship, the ministry is a very poor excuse for guides. No thanks, I’ll continue to plead with the God of heaven to guide me by His Holy Spirit, and He will lead me to green pasture.
Reading the discussion during the congregation meeting, the comments, and what others have written makes me feel like this is all ridiculous. People talking about “scriptural” while they believe they are the ones guided with the right interpretation. Circular reasoning such as people assuming this is/was God’s way despite it’s recent history (Inferring a doctrine similar if not identical to “The Great Apostacy”) and the faith’s cannon of scripture. Most people are also completely unaware their beliefs are rooted in common modern protestant doctrines (Sola Scriptura) and believe that it’s their duty to use scripture to remake the church 1900 years later…. and then now again. Scripture was never meant for that.
So, what faith do you think is closest to what Jesus taught? I see that no matter who people think “started” this, God raised him up to show people what they are reading about in the Bible still exists. God is well able to raise up another with a heart that has good intentions and is allowing God to direct their steps. He has definitely called me away from the world and spoken to me on many occasions. When I was in my early 20’s I wondered if I had just been following something that was all I knew…but, after being gone for several years, I had a major health scare, and found myself praying with a deep desire to be right with the God of Heaven, no matter what. I had earlier that year started visiting every church in the Anchorage area, and although some spoke about the scripture and read from the Bible, there wasn’t a power like was seen in the disciples, and what I had seen as a child growing up going to meetings. But, I still wasn’t convinced until I wound up in the hospital. The medical team didn’t expect me to make it through the night, but before I went to sleep I asked God to please make it very clear to me as to how I could follow Him and be right with Him, and still have fellowship with His chosen and called people. I did have enough faith that He would show me somehow. I woke the next morning, feeling better than I had in several days. Turned out that during the night when they came to do another blood draw that my internal bleeding stopped, and they still hadn’t found the source of the bleeding (so in otherwords, they hadn’t done anything to stop it – because they were stumped as to what to do). Then, my mother arrived (she skipped meeting to come be with me)…and just a couple hours later someone was knocking on my room door. The nurses station was right across from me, and I heard the nurse say, “Can I help you?” (she later apologized to me, but she had figured that if someone was knocking, that they likely didn’t know me – which I totally understood and thanked her for). There was a man’s voice that responded, “Sure, I was driving this morning and God told me to come here to this hospital, and when I got out of my car I wasn’t sure why I was here, so I asked Him to lead me, and here I am”. She said, “so you don’t know who’s in that room?” He said, “No, I haven’t a clue”. She asked if he would please let her come in and speak with me, and she did. Because he had stepped aside my mother never got a look at him. The first thing that came to my is, “you prayed for this!” So, I asked if I could please see who it was, and he stepped forward and we both were shocked! It was a young brother worker! I know God’s way is still on this earth, but as the scripture tells us, all will be brought to light, and it certainly has. I told my children growing up, “Just because someone comes to meeting, doesn’t make them right with God”. I choose to have Faith, and know he is faithful. I went on to get married, raise four kids, and now we have been blessed with four little granddaughters…with more grands to come. Do I agree with what all is going on, absolutely not! Do I think there’s a solution, yes, and I haven’t been quiet about it! God laid it on my heart, and I know it’s the only way things will be righted…but, those who are enjoying “higher places” aren’t listening. That doesn’t make the Way wrong.
AnkhHR, you are absolutely correct. Scripture was meant for us all to know God and His Greatness. Scripture was meant for us to have instructions and examples to follow The Will of our Lord. And, Scripture was meant for us to know the repercussions if we don’t follow the instructions of The Lord’s Will. Scripture was meant for us to all hear and see how Christ Jesus lived, and thus, how we are to live. Scripture was NOT for people to follow some man made ideal of dress, nuance and vital importance of an identifying hair style, or that single men should be living in a household that contains a family and children, and these single men do NOTHING other than preach at some format twice a week. Scripture is explicit warning about idleness in 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14, stating, “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to KEEP AWAY from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching[a] you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate”. THAT is Scripture, and most definitely NOT what we see today in the organization started about 100 years ago by William Irvine. If you’re going to build a Church, start and end with the teaching from Christ Jesus. Use ALL the Scriptures from the Bible, the Word of God, and life will go well for you. When you start your church with William Irvine, it won’t. It’s not complicated.
Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?
“If one of your victim arrives for meeting at the location where you are, you must leave immediately.” Can you believe this foolishness? Why is someone who HAS A VICTIM, be allowed in a meeting, be welcomed in a meeting? Others are excommunicated and shut out for way less, but someone who wrecks numerous lives, especially children’s, both physically, mentally and spiritually is allowed to break bread? Does each and every friend in that meeting know that by sitting and breaking bread with that person they are complicit in their actions? Are they willing to give account for this one day before God? I really hope everyone understands God’s views on this. “It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea”
We are completely saddened by the existence of this ridiculous doument. If anything it encourages paedophiles as it appears to give them the loophole and ability to go to meetings despite their disgusting sinful behaviour. Paedophilia is regarded as virtually the worst and most heinous crime imaginable from a worldly perspective (perpetrators regularly get beat up by other inmates in prisons). From a spiritual persective, whilst not listed in the works of the flesh as set out in Galatians 5 , it is for certain a far greater sin than the first examples, ie adultery, fornication, uncleaness and lasciviousness…. ‘They that do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God’. Why allow them to meetings?
Exactly.
Yes, totally agree!
Is it true that these guidelines reflect current practice.
No. The guidelines are what people have stated they want, but that doesn’t mean the overseers are following them.
Besides, if they aren’t following Jesus, do people really believe they will follow what is on those papers – not a chance! CSA / SA is an addiction. It’s worse than heroin or any other drug all combined.
I thought this list of guidelines was “A Modest Proposal” mimicking Jonathan Swift who made an attempt to shake people out of their self satisfied mind-set by suggesting that eating poor children would prevent them from being a burden to society. His horrific suggestion was a piece of great satire. The people of his day did not understand either. Duty of care for children and vulnerable adults seems to be a difficult concept for some people. Perhaps the next proposal will be about the duty of victim/survivors responsibilities to keep their stories private and avoid trauma response by not attending meetings where perpetrators might need to go to get right with God. I weep through my rage!
To Ontario workers: Your letter is shameful and is a good example of what should not be done. Your guidance document illustrates how this arrogant tolerance for evil has become embedded in the culture of the organisation.
Exactly, spot on Disgusted from Australia!
Ontario has much to hide ! They are no better than the rest of the country or our neighbours to the south. This child molestation has not been dealt with in the manner it should have been dealt with. They were moved but soon were allowed back to Ont to be in unsuppecting homes. Those who committed incest were allowed to have meetings in their homes. Can you imagine that !
One sister worker, who was involved with the incest allegations nearly lost her sanity and ended up in a mental facility for a short time, and is totally out of fellowship. They put the Wed night study back into his home. It depends on what your last name is !! Oh yeah…. Ontario has a lot to cover up. They know how to administer mental abuse also. Why do you think people don’t want to sign their names?
From one who has been there…….
So very sad! I know the way is still right, but the people who are doing these things are more evil than those in the world who do, because they know where to find help for their illness/addiction and are choosing to say “no thanks” to God’s help!
Again, if they are known predators (known to anyone) you should be able to phone the local law enforcement, and tell them the name of the Elder who’s allowing it or inviting families with children into their home, and give the name of the worker who authorized it, and perhaps once some start being arrested, and learn firsthand what it’s like to be violated while in prison…maybe THEN they will start waking up to the horror of what was done to the victim-survivors!!!
I just wish that some of the “skeletons in the closet” would start to rattle !
With Godly Fear……..
Just a portion from the above letter. August 2023. We are now January 2025! How far have we come and where are we at? Or where do we seem to be at on the second sentence? These situations have caused much distress for many people. Have the ‘many’ fallen back asleep? Has some thief come and stolen away the distress and left a little token of rest on the window sill that our eye would be drawn away from the window?
When religious dominion and control get into the heart of a church……..or a nation………….
No way….no way the flames in the distance will rouse me from the rest and security in my/our house………
Some are taking the opportunity to reckon and act upon the need of their neighbor’s importunity….others it seems they are feeling omnipotence in their friends and ‘apparent’ unified school of thought they have gathered ’round them. If only they will, or had search(ed) the mind of the Spirit, they would realize the cluster on their vine is not all singing the same hymn from the book. The harmony is broken, but no one dares disturb the sounds of silence.
****************************
Dear Friends, Aug. 2023
We would like to address Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) and Sexual Abuse (SA) claims that have been raised amongst us. These situations have caused much distress for many people. These feelings of distress are valid. Claims have been raised against some ministers and congregants alike. We are reaching out to organizations for guidance regarding how to help those who have been affected in a time when issues like these were not handled according to today’s standards.
We are thankful for professionals who are helping us become more educated. We have become aware of various aspects of CSA: that there is lifelong damage to victims (in many cases without the understanding of anyone else); that the trauma they experience can take years to manifest itself; and that there may be a need for therapy and/or counselling. We are also learning about the ways of the abuser. We respect those who have been harmed among us and want to learn how to meet their great need for understanding, compassion, and care.
The most important message we would like to convey is our deep sorrow and regret that victims have had to carry a burden for years when what they really needed was the liberty to speak and be heard. We now understand that being heard is an essential step in the healing process. Going forward we want to be part of the solution not part of the problem. We want to do all we can to create a safer environment for all in our fellowship. We are aware of the need to continue learning how to respond properly to any report of child sexual abuse and how to support and direct victims of sexual abuse to sources of professional help for the purpose of healing. We would like to learn how to listen and how to have empathy for victims who are ready to talk. Professionals have made us aware that it is important to respect the timing of when victims want to talk. The proper time is when the survivor chooses to talk.
*************************************************
Are these just a buncha words scabbled together? Clouds with no rain? Wheat stocks with no head in the ear? Anyone have the faith or courage to stop worshipping the bible for an hour and return to the Christ? And see what He has to say?
“We want to do all we can to create a safer environment for all in our fellowship.”
Very little has been accomplished in creating a safer environment. Professional guidelines have been rejected.
“We are aware of the need to continue learning how to respond properly to any report of child sexual abuse and how to support and direct victims of sexual abuse to sources of professional help for the purpose of healing”
There is little to no evidence that learning and education on this subject has improved.
The above has an absence of aspiration to understand how to deal with allegations.