Hi everyone,
I’m Tamara Gómez from Colombia. Please excuse mistakes since English is not my first language. I wanted to talk to you about my experience within the meetings. I first met the Friends and a Worker named Michael Hassett around 2002 after a terrible car accident my family suffered in Quito, Ecuador.
They were very charming and loving and I was surprised why this foreign people (all of them from Canada) were so interested in us, with such a love and care for our situation. That really made an impression on me. Then I was invited to my first gospel meeting, by that time I was at university in Ecuador.
Several months later, I professed. Eventually most of the maternal side of my family professed too. We regularly attended, most of them still do, meetings in Ecuador and Colombia. Women are told to be presented in very modest clothing in order to not be a temptation for other men or workers, we are told to be submissive to men. We, as women lived a very isolated life since we look so different to other women in our fields, work or study places, we rarely make friends with other people outside the group. Men look almost “normal,” so they really don’t have to deal with the rejection, bullying or jokes from others.
Women aren’t explicitly discouraged to pursue studies but most of them marry young and stay at home or work in family businesses. I was a single mother at a young age (17) and I studied medicine and later specialized in a clinical field, so my understanding of the outside world was bigger, but that didn’t prevent all the brain washing I suffered.
When The Truth was starting “the Work” in a small Colombian city in the Border of Colombia -Ecuador called Ipiales, many members were curious about the money, how the organization works, the hierarchy and all that stuff but they were told that they cared more of the mundane stuff than the spiritual things and that they should put their heart to the message from God they were bringing to us and not all those small things.
I have witnessed very concerning ways to deal with spousal or sexual abuse. If you are being beaten by your husband (even being both part of The Truth) the right thing to do is to stay with him and pray harder for his soul, and beware of not provoking him to hit you. I know a girl who was in her 20’s she was beaten so hard by her husband (both professing) that she flew to her parents’ home, and was convinced by her parents and Workers of the field that she has to stick to the husband she chose, since marriage is forever, and not be temptation for him to sin (it means hit her).
I knew of a female worker who was married in her country to another professing alcoholic guy that used to hit her so hard she was hospitalized several times, and she claims that God told her to leave him because she was going to be the cause of the loss of his soul if he finally killed her.
I know 2 now grown men who were sexually abused when they were kids by a worker in Ecuador and were told to heal in silence, and the worker was sent to another country.
I know a family where the grandfather and father sexually abused daughters and granddaughters during many years and are now are elders, and I know that the Workers knew about this situation years ago.
I eventually married a professing guy from Argentina, [name redacted]. He was constantly jealous and felt very threatened by my education and the fact that I, being a physician, was the main provider of our home, so he started psychologically abusing me, was very jealous and controlling in ways so damaging to my brain and soul that I cried almost every night of our first year of marriage. He was jealous of family members, friends, workers, everyone. In this first year I fought back this conduct and we decided to speak with the Senior Worker of Colombia about it, Munro MacAngus.
I thought he was going to help me and at least scold my husband, but what a surprise was when the thing he said was “well I know from now on Tamara would never give you any other reason to make you mad or jealous of her”.
So I started living by that premise. I was constantly walking on shells around him, I gave him the money I made for him to manage, I accepted that he chose my clothes, who I talked to, who I was associated to, what kind of jobs to accept etc. I completely lost my personality, my whole self was erased in the marriage. Remember I was a single mother, and my daughter was 15 when I married. I made her call him dad and to be submissive to him too, and he years later started sexually harassing her for a year or so, showing himself naked, hugging her and taking advantage of the proximity to touch her close to the butt and breasts, staring at her when she went up the stairs, laying down next to her on the bed while she was asleep, etc.
I tried to think that those were just honest mistakes of an honest man, but deep down I knew the truth but I was a coward not able to accept it. My daughter started acting out, not wanting to go to meetings, changing her hair and clothing, being irritable and disrespectful all the time until she finally attempted suicide by ingesting the pills she was prescribed by her psychiatrist. She never told her about the sexual harassment she was suffering so she was labelled with an anxiety and depression disorder medically speaking and just “trouble” in the fellowship.
I struggled with my maternal instincts and what I’ve been taught for almost 20 years, be submissive, be a peacemaker, obey your husband, marriage is sacred. I finally confronted [my husband] about the situation. I remembered one thing he said “Come on if I wanted to rape her I would have already done it”.
When the Workers in our field (both female – Isabel Fica from Chile and Elizabeth Jennings from Ireland) learnt about the abuse the response was what you expect, I should stay married and since my daughter was now 18 she should leave the house and nobody should hear about the abuse to not taint “the truth”. And she was blamed for the way she dresses, she behaves, she sits etc. As she was a young lady she was a temptation to my husband.
After several months of suffering and not sleeping I decided my marriage has to come to an end. So I kicked my husband out of the house. By that time the pandemic had arrived and I was the only provider for our home, so he had to fly back to Argentina to stay with his brother.
I continued to attend meetings only to be bullied and incessantly persuaded to “save” my marriage, to be told how much of a sin it was to make [husband’s name redacted] leave home; I remembered Elizabeth saying my sin was bigger than his. Almost all the messages in the meetings were about the holiness of the marriage and how big of a sin divorce is.
The workers and I also became aware that my husband also abused his younger sister since she was 3 to 17 yo and also a young female cousin while growing up. That didn’t stop them from keeping pressuring me to take him back. I was told I could not participate in the Sunday meeting if I don’t repent from my sin. They even told me that if the money for the plane tickets was the problem, they would pay for them.
The bullying was so mortifying that I stopped going to meetings at all. My soon to be ex-husband, we are in the middle of the divorce process, is now back in Colombia and continues attending meetings and sometimes acts as an elder when there is no worker present. I doubt other people in the fellowship know about the true reason we separated and think that they believe I am just a bad and cruel woman, not only here in Colombia but I’ve been told it’s how they see me in Argentina too.
The situation is reported to the competent authorities in my country, that can be checked. I’m now dealing with anxiety and depression too, and guilt, the guilt of not being able to act sooner and be brave enough. It’s been 2 years now and I can now see how toxic, sexist and dangerous environment “The Truth” is and how it enables abuse in so many ways affecting children and women all over the world.
WINGS Note: Overseer Percy Broughton is aware of these abuse cases.
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Tamara, you are so brave to tell your truth. I am grateful you have a platform on which you can share your truth and know that you are heard and believed. You are doing the right thing to leave this cruel marriage. You are being held in love and prayer. There are no words to express my sorrow to read of this horrible abuse. I am embarrassed right now to be part of a fellowship that allows this to happen.
More proof that many workers focus on outward appearance – clothes, hair, good marriage (even if it’s fake and someone is suffering), professing children, meeting in their house and giving the workers money. As you mentioned, it’s a world wide problem and I believe it is because they serve each other, not God. I am sorry for your suffering and pray that you and your daughter will find joy in Jesus and have the natural strength to heal and have a good natural life free of fear.
Tamara – you are so brave and courageous for sharing your story. How people (particularly workers) responded to your cries for help is inexcusable. It’s a testimony against them, and it reflects nothing on you. You are not to blame! You are a warrior! Standing behind you!!!
What does it take to get these workers gone/out their position. RH and DS must go. RH runs eastern United States and S. American (who knows what else) and DS runs Canada and Western United States. At Greenshields Wayne Hutchinson is speaking Wednesday evening, this is so WRONG! FBI and RCMP are aware of issues, one can only hope. RH, DS, and RD (China) need to GO NOW!
What is the issue with Wayne Hutchinson?
Management incompetence and hardness of spirit (lack of compassion).
Not CSA/SA.
Tamara, remember God loves you and so does Jesus. You were NOT in the wrong by leaving and it is a shame the way the workers and “friends” are behaving. I hope and pray you are able to move past the guilt and depression that you are feeling. Please remember that the way these people are reacting and treating you is NOT a picture of our Savior. Keep your eyes and faith on Jesus. He will being you healing!!
Ray Hoffmann knows about CSA in South America. He didn’t answer my emails since 3 months ago.
He must answer the Almighty one day .
There are many workers involved in a big cover up of CSA in South America.
Sra Judy, maybe he hasn´t answered because you haven´t told the truth, you have made up the story, and what is more, you have offended and hurt those victims more than you can imagine. After doing some research here in Ecuador, I found out that you and Charlie Habner have basically used the victims as you have wished, without taking into consideration their feelings and suffering. Additionally, the victims are in absolute disagreement with everything you are doing and told me you do not represent them in any single way, as you have not shown any respect or consideration to their suffering, instead, you have done horrible things to the whole family, and you haven´t stopped. It seems to me that you do not care at all for them, or you have no idea how devasted they are by your wrongdoing and insensitivity.
Thank you Tamara so much for sharing your story. It does take incredible bravery to go public with your experiences. I feel such a sense of disgust and enormous sadness for the abuse you and your daughter have suffered at the hands of those that should know so much better. What is becoming very apparent is protecting the reputation of the ‘Truth’ has always been, and is continuing to be, a priority far higher than anything else. What a despicable and reprehensible state of affairs that is, and is about as far removed from the teachings of Jesus as could ever be possible. Stay strong and remember no bullying worker can ever take away your own personal belief and faith.
We know of a few cases here in Brazil – sadly the victims are treated as if they are to blame.
Hola, usted tiene algún parentesco con Sara Baseman?
My dear friend, I am speechless, unbelievable.
I do believe you though. Get closer to God, He will be your strong tower and rock of defence.
Divorce is not a sin, and very necessary in some cases. Do not listen to these workers, they lack understanding, compassion and love.
Their advice is not from the Holy Spirit.
My heart is pained for you, truly.
Seek God with all your heart.
If you need a listening ear please get my email from Wings, I would be happy to talk or converse via email.
Workers did not die for us, Jesus did and He would never want you to be abused like this.
Sending you divine love, and know that you are in my prayers.
God bless you my friend 💞🙏
What a world with so many “sick” people within the church. My heart goes out to each and every victim. My husband and I are maried 44 years. I am professing for 34 years, he never proffessed. Not even once he abused me or anyone else, neither tried to hinder me from going to meetings. We believe in selfrespect. I took a stand not to tollerate any bullying or intimidation, not even from workers and also taught my children to do likewise. Not once have I experience such horrible things. WHERE THERE IS NO SELF RESPECT, HOW CAN ONE RESPECT OTHERS? SHAME ON EACH AND EVERY PERPETRATOR AND THOSE WHO STILL COVERUP!
👏🏻
Unfortunately, in many developing countries women are treated in a similar manner. It isn’t even an offence in many countries to demand things off your wife that would be considered sexual assault in the developed world…#
Tamara, we understand that so many people let you down and were more concerned about the appearance of things rather than your safety. God gave you a strength that others did not know you needed and you were faithful to God as your first love. We are thankful for your courage and willingness to share so that others would understand the need for change within the ministry. We love you and know that God opened your eyes mouth, and heart. You are God’s masterpiece!
Tamara Hijita mia…. lo siento tanto que han estado solas desamparadas en esta horrible situación. Dios no es culpable de la maldad del hombre. Ya fué mencionado que Nuestro Señor Jesús pagó un precio tan alto para darnos esperanza en este mundo de oscuridad. Y nuestra respuesta al amor de Jesús es lo que hará la diferencia en nuestras vidas. Aprecio mucho tu valentia y coraje para exponer los hechos y aprecio mucho que eres una mamá protectora y amorosa con tus hijos. Dios de Misericordia y Bondad te guarde y te bendiga.
No sé a quien le corresponde corregir estas situaciones abusivas, porque lamentablemente en suramerica todavía somos tratados como en la epoca feudal no solo en lo religioso, sino también en politico y economico. La cultura es como un cáncer en este tiempo. El evangelio no es de los siervos, el Evangelio puro es de Nuestro Salvador el Señor Jesús.
This happened to a family member. When they wanted to leave an emotionally/psychologically abusive marriage where there had been a threat of physical violence, the senior worker in the field started showing up in our Sunday morning meeting and preaching about marriage. My perception is that it was an attempt to publicly shame this person. It’s absolutely disgusting behavior.
I’m saddened to hear of all you’ve been through. It breaks my heart 💔
I’m glad you see and understand how wrong the advice was. Some of us have been in a similar situation and understand your feelings. Thank you for being so strong and we’re here for you if you want to reach out. Hugs to you and your daughter 🤗❤️
Thank you very much for sharing your story Tamara, I am from Colombia, I am very sorry for everything that has happened to you and your little daughter, I remember you because I also attended the meetings in Ipiales and looked at your family from afar, so different from reality . . Right now I am opening my eyes and moving away from everything that has marked and hurt my life. A big hug for you.