WINGS Note: Even well-meant comments can act as triggers for victims. WINGS urges anyone with thoughts of self-harm to seek urgent support wherever you live. Some contacts are listed at https://wingsfortruth.info/resources/
When we try to imagine the pain you’ve endured, it breaks our hearts.
The abuse you’ve received.
The times you’ve relived it in your mind.
The way it’s infiltrated every part of your life.
The dismissal you’ve received.
The lack of understanding and compassion.
The times you’ve relived it as you bravely shared your story.
The times you haven’t been believed.
The self-doubt it’s caused.
The lack of confidence it’s created.
The depression, anxiety, lack of trust.
The suicidal thoughts.
The loneliness.
The sleepless nights.
The fears.
And so much more.
A victim over and over again, and yet you are a survivor. Continuing forward.
We are sorry so many have had to share their stories so publicly and vulnerably in order for you to be heard and to be believed.
We hear you, we see you, we believe you.
We are angry. We are heartbroken. We are devastated.
Knowing that people we’ve trusted so deeply have inflicted harm upon you… it feels like the definition of hypocrisy and betrayal. We are sorry you suffered (mostly) alone. That the friends and the workers didn’t stand beside you to fight for safety and love in the fellowship. That you were silenced and many of you were ex-communicated for speaking up. That those who advocated for you were silenced and ex-communicated. That those who claimed to represent “The Truth” did everything they could to hide the real, ugly truth.
We admire your courage, your bravery.
We wish there wasn’t a need for you to be so courageous and brave. That the safety of men, women, and children wouldn’t be a fight; instead, it would be a right.
We hope you know and truly believe the abuse was not your fault. It never was.
The things your abuser did and said are not ok.
The dismissal and lack of belief of the people around you is not ok.
The fact that this has been allowed and covered up within our fellowship is not ok.
We are sorry for any and every time we behaved in a way that was hurtful.
When we said something without thinking about what it really meant.
When we followed the status quo blindly.
You’ve been on the receiving end of so much pain, so much evil, so much wrong.
We are sorry, and yet that will never be enough.
It won’t take away the past.
It barely touches the tip of the deep heartache we feel.
And we likely will never know the depth of the pain and suffering you’ve endured.
We are sorry for times we believed the perpetrator.
We didn’t know about the abuse, but we believed the lie.
The lie that you were doubting, losing your revelation, losing your faith.
The lie that you left the fellowship because you were bitter.
Words will never be enough.
We are humbled and honored to join you in this battle.
This battle that you never chose for yourself.
This battle for truth, for honesty, for love, for righteousness, for justice.
We hope we can create a community where you are safe. Where we are safe. Where our children and grandchildren, brothers and sisters, and parents are all safe.
A community where the love and standard of Jesus is truly the emphasis, both in words and actions.
We promise to fight for national and international policies that prevent the hiding and moving of predators, a genuine commitment to find and reveal the abusers and those that have covered for them, and an apology tour hosted by the overseers.
You are not alone.
Whether you’ve chosen to share your story or not, you are believed and loved.
Thank you.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for standing up.
Thank you for bringing these things to light.
Thank you for fighting for the truth.
Please know that we are here for you.
Please reach out to any of us individually if there’s anything that we can do to help you.
If you haven’t been able to yet, we sincerely hope you can find healing and closure.
Your soul is beautiful.
With so much love,
Concerned Friends of Delaware, Maryland, North Carolina, Virginia, and beyond
Abi Voorhees
Albert Tripp
Anna Borys (Winnipeg, Canada)
Beth and Reid Lindsay
Bonnie and Archie Cameron (Minnesota)
Brian and Mindy West
Charles Kelsoe
Chelsea and Arun Mohan
Christy Hockaday
Dan and Suzanne Thompson
Deborah and Larry Morton
Devon Wijesinghe
Diana and Dan Nicolaisen
Elda McGrath
Garrett Lepak
Gracie Gillis
Heather Morton
Jana Schaefer
Jeanette Herting
Jen Martin (Wyoming)
Jenna Helms
Jessica and Eric Brist
Joel Riggs
John and Darcie Carr
John Mulford
Karla Filibeck
Kayla Martineau
Lisa Shue
Loyd Heimbruch
Mark and Abigail Hobbs
Nelson and Brenda Helms
Nyana Thompson
Rachel Lundstrom
Rolland Sarver
Shane and Nikelle Garner
Shantel Victor-Cole (Antigua, West Indies)
Sharilee Stafford
Sharon Douglas
Steve and Amy Wellein
Sue Battle
Teena Daize (Canada)
Tim and Shelly Borys (Winnipeg, Canada)
Whitney Nelson
WINGS Note: This letter was drafted on behalf of the concerned friends in the writer’s region (NC/VA/MD/DE). They have been meeting on Zoom calls, and on the first call their opening topic was “how can we support the victims?” and this letter is one of the results from that conversation. When it was shared online, several folks from other regions also opted to have their names added.
They have asked for it to be shared on WINGS “to help victims feel seen, heard, and believed; and so they know that we are safe people that they can talk to“.
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This is all well and good but I do not see one worker listed in the signature line. Those are the ones in charge of the group and still rule over it. This letter of apology will not help the victims one bit. A direct apology from the workers is what is needed and an offer to pay for therapy for victims from their trust funds.
My lovely daughter is saving up her own hard earned money in order to afford therapy. She will not get anywhere near any type of church or even open a Bible due to what happened to her when she was in the group. Do you people really think a letter like this is going to do anything for the many SA/CSA victims?
Max: A deep heart felt prayer goes-up for your daughter and all of you who ache to make it ALL go away. BUT that won’t Happen. Don’t you all understand the brutal – devastating – deep broken destruction of ones very heart, mind and soul: AND THEN the well polished shoes, tuck in their shirt, straighten their tie, take out their Bible and stand righteously as a minister of God in THEIR “righteousness” and dare anyone to touch their authority and control over the weightier matters – like a radio antenna on a car at convention(yes; they use to saw them off at night).
OH; How we want you all to JUST STOP: Pick-up your Holy Bible and read – search-read again with an open mind. Take off your 2×2 blinders. Read as it is written. THEN “Pray God will give you understanding”!
Do you know what a eunuch is?
Do you know WHY?
God’s Word will tell you!
Never, Never was God’s Priesthood required to not be married, nor have a family. This is JUST Traditions of Men by Men! Jesus did not send unmarried, homeless, men (or women) to proclaim God’s ‘Good News’. John the Baptist was sent to prepare the way of the Lord.
You take out Your Holy Bible and JUST read these FEW Verses.
Matthew 11:1The 12 were to go into their cities; where Jesus would come
Mark 1:30
John 19:25, “:26 – ::27″
Corinthians 9:1-:6
And The Traditions of Men” forget OR NEVER KNEW God’s WORD concerning to whom Jesus preached! Matthew 10:5,6; Math 15:24
Nor What Jesus preached! Matthew 4:17; :23
Nor to whom Jesus sent the 12 Apostles! Acts 2:5
Nor What they preached! Acts 2:14-:24 and 2:25 -:39
Nor THE 12 Apostles Doctrine! Acts 2:42-:46
These are just a few of many.
When you have understood “God” instead of men::: you will be able to read and understand God’s Word.
The “solution” to the NOW RECOGNIZED problem is: Believe God rather than Traditions of Man that have created the “False ‘Fellowship” you all are trying to protect. It is a brutal thing to learn one has spent most of their life, heart and soul in ONLY Man’s WAY and it is NOT of or by God. 2 Corinthians 11:13-:15
explains this. BUT understand that this is NOT the ONLY tradition of Men; their are Thousands of them created by Men BUT they admit it is.
Astounded – thanks for your support – you sound like a mighty fine person. Despite her trauma, our daughter finds God in nature, the mountains, the desert, the beaches and in all other of God’s wonderful creation – just not in any type of church building (or musty smelling living room). I do believe that someday she will again read the Bible and be a Christian, but probably not in my lifetime.
On a lighter note, I do remember that people in Michigan were strongly encouraged by overseer Arnold Brown in the 70’s remove their radio antennas before driving into convention. Most screwed them off before driving onto the grounds and then reattached them as soon as they got off the grounds – needed to catch Ernie Harwell and the Detroit Tigers on the radio.
Thanks again for your kind words.
It is a beautiful letter. And definitely thank you for each and everyone who attached their names.
But perhaps you should put your money where your mouth is. Victim/ survivor’s need financial help. Especially for therapy. You can all contribute to the Advocates for The Truth. They have well established programs and 100% transparency.
This is the very letter that the overseers could have written, first.
Dale, Barry, Ray, it’s not too late! We would love to help you write the letter.
It’s not too late for the overseers to write the letter, but it’s a bit late to hope that it would be believed.
No confidence in the Ministry, I total agree with you, “it’s not too late for the overseers to write the letter, but it’s a bit late to hope that it would be believed”. Way way too much water has gone under the bridge for any victim to believe an apology from a head worker “pinocchio”!!! These guys are all about themselves. I know because I got up close and very personal with different ones mentioned on this site after my daughter was assaulted by a worker. The ARROGANT attitude of these old white guys has no rival and gives the rest of us old white guys a very bad rap. My mom used to say, a bad apple spoils the whole batch. My mom failed to take her own wisdom most of the time being a professing person her whole life, where it mattered what you said and not what you did. But, mom was right here though, because the head worker bad apples have spoiled the whole batch. And, no, they would not be believed about anything now. Just their noses would grow longer.
Agree! The trust has been broken, mostlikely it will never be regained.
Due to several requests from folks asking to have their name added to the list on this letter, you may add your name to this Google Document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rRraPIhftbz_YEevLMAJht4at_RwjZ2ZuX7E3L4WAT4/edit?usp=sharing.
We also encourage everyone who is able to donate to therapy for victim-survivors via Advocates For The Truth at https://www.advocatesforthetruth.com.