Illinois victim’s communications with workers

I am a victim of a sexual predator in Central Illinois who was a part of my family’s life, someone that I felt I could trust, someone that I thought cared for and loved my family, someone that my family trusted.

Yes, it was many years ago but anytime through the years, when I have had to be in his presence in a gathering or meeting, I felt like I was being seduced. I felt like he was looking at me and saying do you remember what I did to you? It was hard to be in a meeting with him and here him speak or pray.

Immediately after the first time he touched me I wanted to tell someone, but who? I wanted to scream at his wife and ask her how she could be so blind to what he was doing right in front of her but I didn’t. So I avoided him at all costs and 2 years later I quit going to meeting because I wanted to wear jeans. ‘I was just being a rebellious teenager.’ I pushed it all into the back of my mind.

I professed again a few years later and married an abusive narcissistic man and I lost my complete identity when I was married to him. I literally no longer had an opinion. It’s hard to explain the feeling of being so empty. When I suggested to him that maybe we should offer our home for a bible study or Sunday meeting since I thought it had never been offered as a possibility, he told me that the workers had come to him about having a meeting in our home but he said we couldn’t because I was not worthy of having a meeting in our home. I confirmed this with the worker that was in our field at the time.

Another example of the mental abuse was, I asked him to just tell me one thing he liked about me, that he didn’t have to tell me he loved me but just one thing that he liked. He looked at me in silence and said nothing. So with this kind of a life, the abuse I had as a child, was deeply suppressed even through my therapy during and after I left the marriage.

During the 22 years of marriage and since, I have had to be in my abuser’s presence on occasion and nothing has changed. The last time I saw him, it was the same seducing look, the same ‘do you remember what I did to you look in his eyes’. But still, I suppressed and pushed the thoughts out of my mind as quickly as I could and avoided shaking his hand after meeting if at all possible.

When I heard about the life of DB and then all of the horrible things that were coming out about so many, the memories of my abuse came flooding back to the forefront of my mind. Memories I never wanted to think about again. I didn’t want to hurt his wife or children by revealing anything; thinking it was so long ago. I felt if others came forward and needed support, I would be there for them to comfort if I could. Once the memories were back though I could not stop them. Continually new memories surface of what he did and said to me.

The rest of my story is in the emails to Matt Jensen attached. At this time I am remaining anonymous.

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My Communication to Matt Jensen regarding Harold Brown in Central Illinois
(Jon mentioned in the emails is Jon Knockenmus)

Fri, Jun 9, 2023
Hi Matt
I understand from Jon that Harold has been removed from meetings.
Craig Winquist sent an email in Missouri regarding another case that was made known at the meeting last Sunday afternoon also. Since he sent out a communication regarding this case, I am struggling on why this is not happening in regard to Harold Brown. I gathered from Jon there is not an urgency to send a communication to the worker staff in Illinois regarding Harold Brown to be shared with all friends in the state of Illinois. It is very important for people victimized by others that it is known; that people in other areas can assume that the person is just not going to meeting anymore or for wrong rumors to be spread.

This afternoon, with the help of an expert in this I have done slight modifications to Craig’s well written letter and pasted it below. Jon had said you have so much on your plate and did not know when you would or if you would be sending a communication out. Rather than ‘re-invent the wheel’, a modification of a letter / email already sent would suffice but is needed. The words changed were specifically changed due to the immediate triggers of people who are victims and correct wording (i.e. alleged, allegations) recommended by the expert in child sexual abuse that I am working with.

I hope you understand that once the door opened that what was done to me was not anything that was my fault or that this was not isolated to me, the memories I had pushed out of my conscience mind have come flooding back and I have already started working with a counselor. Being raised going to meetings and this being the very foundation of everything I have ever believed to be right and now the exposure of all that is coming out is like an earthquake.

I have pasted below the email content that was written by Craig with the few revisions that make it pertinent to Harold Brown. I did this in hopes you would copy and paste it to an email to your staff in Illinois to be sent to all friends in their fields.
Thank you for sending a communication.
Signature of writer removed.

This is the email I included and was asking for Matt to send to the Illinois workers to be shared with all of the friends in their fields: (Matt did not comply)

Subject: To Illinois Friends

To Whom it may concern:

In the interest of the safety of our children we have a zero tolerance policy. In the best interest of all, we need to make our friends aware whenever we know that there is an alleged sexual predator who has been in our midst and is currently active in our fellowship. This helps us to be responsible to each other and especially to our children. When this is known they will not be allowed to attend any meetings in person. If they travel and spend time in different areas this suspension applies to any meeting anywhere, not only their home area.

We have learned and need to share that Harold Brown has several allegations of pedophilia and legal cases have been opened. Because this has come to light we have asked him not to attend in person meetings anywhere. This restriction is effective immediately.

We want to encourage any victims of sexual assault to come forward no matter who the abuser was. Please report it to the proper legal authorities. It would be good also to let your local workers know, so they can make necessary adjustments for the local meetings.

The Illinois Abuse Hotline is 1.800.25.ABUSE or for non-emergency you can report in Illinois at https://childabuse.illinois.gov. Another helpful source is to use the hot line …. (503-386-4634). This hot line will notify workers about the sexual predator and provide guidance for therapy if needed. Another source the RAIIN hotline (1-800-656-4673) and the suicide hotline (988) for anyone in crisis.

 Sincerely yours,

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On Jun 19, 2023, at 12:43 PM

Good Afternoon Matt and Jon

I find it very odd that I have not heard from either of you in response to my email and I have found it very disturbing that it appears there is an effort to keep it quiet that Harold Brown has allegations against him. I have also been made aware of other cases that are being ignored/not addressed/brushed under the rug etc. in Illinois.

I am questioning your motive in this. You may be thinking you are wanting to protect the fellowship – but this is only in man’s eyes of those who do not want to know the truth of what is going on. All will be revealed. In God’s all seeing eye, He is seeing what is going on and always has. He knows the real motive in your heart(s) on why you are choosing to hush people from telling who has allegations. Galations 6:7-8 comes to mind “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Paul was very direct in his letters on very sensitive subjects also. There was no brushing things under the rug.

Having two young sister workers go with you to meet with Harold Brown and then having these young sister workers have to call and tell the friends that Harold was being removed from meetings was shocking to me. Harold is a predator of women. Did you even consider that he possibly would have made these young sister workers uncomfortable or possibly even made inappropriate comments or actions towards them? Did you give them the choice on whether they wanted to be in his presence for this conversation? Of course, I do not expect an answer to these questions because you have not responded to my previous email, but I sure hope it is giving you something to seriously think about and consider.

It is very obvious God is working to reveal corruption to make His people turn to Him in these times. As I shared with Jon on a call, this is not the first time I have been shunned and ignored by the ministry. I went through this in 2007 when I finally got up the courage to leave an abusive marriage. I much appreciated Jon’s kind words when I shared this with him. There is much coming to light not just in the fellowship but in the world as a whole. There is reason to believe based on historical timelines that between now and the end of 2023 – and possibly before the end of this month of June, there will be some shaking in all of the world by God. Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” We would not want to be those that are too proud or having a haughty spirit in these times.

God’s Truth will prevail and the real protection of the fellowship is in an honest and upright ministry and people.

I pray for you that you will seek God’s direction and only His. Matt. 5:13-16 comes to mind as I am writing this email…”Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

It has been very real to me that God is seeking for His people to glorify HIm, to praise Him and to seek only Him for direction. Light dispels the darkness – it does not cover up or hide the wrongs.

Again I plead with you and pray you will seek God’s direction and remember it is only what God knows that matters and in the end He will reveal all.

In the name of Jesus I pray His will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven…
Signature of writer removed

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On Mon, Jun 19, 2023 at 1:53 PM Matthew Jensen

Hi recipient name removed

Thank you for reaching out. Could I get your phone number? I will call you, if that is okay with you.

Matthew Jensen

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Email sent on Wednesday, June 21, 2023
Hi Matt and Jon
Thank you for each of you attempting to reach out to me.

Recap –

• June 4 – I shared at the Missouri meeting that I am a victim of a man in the fellowship
• June 6 – Jon ‘Cold Called’ me – his words not mine; I shared my story regarding Harold; he said since I was an adult it was up to me to report to the police if I wanted legal action to be taken. I told him at this time, I just wanted the right thing to be done regarding Harold.
• June 6 or 7 – Jon called me back and said he is a mandatory reporter and he had called Cass County police and had spoken with Chief Shumate and a case had been created; I asked about Harold being removed from meeting and I was told you would have to figure out how to handle that (paraphrasing)
• June 8 – I texted Jon and said I was struggling that Harold was still in meetings since Craig Winquist had dealt quickly with Richard Simpson in KC and this case was made know at the same time that I shared my story. Jon called me within 30 minutes of my text and said that you(both) didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize the case. He then called back later and said one of you had spoken with the Chief and confirmed removing Harold from meeting would not jeopardize anything legally but that Matt was having a hard time finding a man worker to join him in this communication to Harold and that Matt did not want to go alone to communicate this but he assured me it would take place in the next couple of days.
• June 9 – I received a call from Jon that Matt, Dana and Abigail went to Harold and Jane’s to tell them Harold was removed from meetings. Jon’s words – Harold did not act surprised but Jane did not act like she knew anything.
• June 9 – I heard from someone in the Springfield area they received a call from Dana and how sorry they felt for her because she was having such a hard time even sharing the information.
• June 9 – I sent my first email to both of you (in this email string)
• June 19 – After no response or acknowledgement I sent my second email to you (in this email string)
• June 19 – Jon tried to call me shortly after I sent the email . I do appreciate this promptness. As you know I did not answer. Jon then sent a text with details regarding the legal status, due process etc regarding the case. I am confused why this was even brought up in response to my email because nothing in my email was regarding the legal status.
• June 19 – I responded to Jon’s text “It has been moved to a state level. My concern is not the legal status”.
• June 19 – Matt then sent me an email asking me for my phone number so he could call me. (in this email string)

I did not respond until now…
This brings us to today… June 21

First of all – I know both of you are in direct communication with each other about this so there is no reason that Jon could not give Matt my phone number.

Secondly – I am in contact with others and I have heard things (hmmm gossip and heresay comes from not sending a formal communication)

I am now even more disturbed because I have reason to believe that it is very possible more information was divulged to Harold about the reporting victim than should have been. He and his wife are telling people it was 50 years ago and it is nothing, AND that it was taken care of.

 IF it was 50 years ago, it wasn’t me, so who was that victim?

AND I now know there were many after me that he victimized and that Barry Barkley and Jim Holt knew about this when an elder in the area came forward to Jim asking for something to be done about Harold approximately 25 years ago. [13 words recacted] Nothing was done. No one was warned and he was not reported.

A personal segway… I have minimized what has been done to me all my life – by him, by a smooth talking professing but extremely narcissistic husband for 22 years and then shunned by the workers and most of the friends in the area after I got up the courage to leave him. The only thing that gave me the courage to leave was because I started to observe the same treatment towards my daughter. So the courage wasn’t even for myself.

Was the abuse by Harold the cause of why I fell in love and married an abusive man; Was it the reason I never valued myself or that my opinion mattered? I don’t know – what I do know is I have paid for a lot of therapy over the years and I have started talking with a therapist again. But most of all I have read my Bible and prayed more than I ever have in my life these last several months that God would give me the words to speak, that He would guide me and direct my steps. As I told Jon the first time we spoke on the phone – I had zero intention of saying one thing at the meeting in Missouri. I had an hour drive that day alone in the car to go to that meeting and I prayed out loud the whole way saying to God that I didn’t want to say anything but if He wanted me to that He would just put the words in my mouth, that He would give me the message that I should say. It did not cross my mind while I was praying that it would be to tell anyone publicly about being a victim. My thoughts were all on that God could give me the words to bring encouragement and cause workers and friends to turn to God – to be aligned with Him in all of this turmoil and let Him reveal and cleanse. When it came out of my mouth at the meeting that I am a victim, I was very distressed because now it was out and I would have to face all of it again. It was easier when it was my secret and I could push the memories out of my mind.

It’s so real to me, God knows all, we have no secrets, Harold has no secrets before God, you have no secrets before God. If we are fooling ourselves that hiding secrets from man AND NOT DEALING WITH THEM is safe, we are oh so wrong. I know for me I don’t want to be standing before God on the judgement day with a wrong I may have done to someone and not dealt with it and then He will bring judgement on that day. If the distress I am facing now can help any of the other victims to come forward and/or turn to God, if it can help Harold to face what he has done to so many people and gain the victory through God, if it can help him to really repent for the wrongs he has done, it will be worth it.

When I last spoke to Chief Schumate on Monday, June 19 and he advised it would have to be at the state level, he was quite alarmed that you have not communicated to all of the church. I told him that you, Matt, had two young woman workers with you when Harold was told and that you then put the burden on them to only verbally tell the people where Harold went to meeting. I told the Chief that you, Matt, told people in the meeting in Chicago to not mention names when someone mentioned Harold’s name. I told him that there are fellowship meetings all over the world and this is a global issue. I told him I am like a piece of sand in the scheme of the bigger problem. I told the Chief that you have not personally provided or enforced a written communication to the people all over your jurisdiction to be advised about the allegations against Harold Brown. I told him about conventions coming up and that really if Harold showed up at Seneca Convention or Brownstown Convention, and maybe even Mt. Sterling Convention, it would be likely that no one would treat him any differently or ask him to leave because most wouldn’t even know about it.

It is evident you both are not wanting anything to be put in writing, even in a response to my emails or texts (i.e. when I texted Jon about getting Harold out of the meetings on June 8, I got a phone call not a text response). Everything has been verbal without witness.

Therefore, my decision is going forward, any communication will be in writing or on a recorded line with a 3rd party present of my choosing. You have to understand there is no trust in either of you at this time. If you are choosing to not be on the websites and be informed about all that is going on across the world with the matter of CSA, SA, friend and worker abuse both male and female, etc. you should reconsider. Being ignorant (when it is all at your fingertips) and YOUR INACTIVITY to be an honest and upright leader is making a choice. God is depending on you in your position, for the people who are looking up to you and you are leading them astray in your condoning of the ongoing illegal activities in the area you are considered to be responsible for. All this will pass someday but you will have to answer to a much greater judge than any earthly judge.

II Thes. 2: 8-12
“And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming: even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, and with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. AND FOR THIS CAUSE GOD SHALL SEND THEM STRONG DELUSION, THAT THEY SHOULD BELIEVE A LIE: that they all might be damned who believed not the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.”

Once the investigation in this particular case and then as more is revealed about James S. and Mark M. in Illinois, that they too are sexual predators and allowed in fellowship with ones who could become a victim, I do not know how you cannot see. Your resistance is not of God. Satan is wanting to tear it all apart and he is succeeding through the worker’s prideful resistance to the plea of those who are seeing the light. By calling Chief Shumate you did your due diligence in saying you did the mandatory reporting but that is not where your responsibility stops.

I pray God will shake you awake to see the light He is wanting to shine and clear the darkness. I don’t know if you have to ‘report’ to Ray Hoffmann or get approval but your real higher up is God – get into a place and listen to Him PLEASE. We all know God is doing a worldwide cleansing – be a part of His solution, resist the devil, let God use you to shine the light on all the darkness and evil things going on.

I am praying for all of the workers to stop thinking about the natural side of things and just lean in to God and listen to Him and only Him!

If you do want to have a conversation, it will be on a recorded line, or you can email me back.
The only real action you need to do is the following:

ACTION ITEMS EXPECTED FROM MATT AS ILLINOIS/INDIANA OVERSEER:

1. Add my email as a blind copy on the email that you send to the workers regarding Harold Brown – wording of this email is critical which is why I provided you with Craig’s email on my first communication to you. If you do not have a zero tolerance policy then you can take that out, but I would sure hope you think about that if you do. I expect this email to be sent to your staff by Thursday, June 22 and your staff to have distributed to their field no later than Friday, June 23.
2. Send me an email of written confirmation that Harold has been advised he cannot attend a meeting anywhere – no matter the location and that this is not a temporary thing – it is indefinite.

Praying God gives you the strength to do the right thing.
Signature of writer removed

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It was shared privately with me that Matt sent an email to the field Harold is in, and, it appeared on the email, that it was sent to all of the Illinois workers. As of this writing and my knowledge, the communication HAS NOT been forwarded on from the workers to the friends in their fields.

Below are two communications Matt had Dana Jacobsen send; sent out to select few…. From my knowledge, only to the people in the field where Harold resides.

Even though the salutation is to Friends in both Illinois and Indiana, other contacts I have, have not confirmed receipt of this communication being forwarded from their workers.

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Begin forwarded message:

From: Dana Jacobsen
Date: June 17, 2023 at 9:56:58 AM CDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: CSA Update

Dear Friends in Illinois and Indiana,

We know it is very needful to communicate with you on the current Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault crisis. This is a difficult situation, but respectful, open and honest communication is required. We feel deeply for any victims of sexual assault. We want to emphasize, that there are resources available, that can help you. Two sources are stopitnow.org and rainn.org.

Regarding reporting, if you live in Indiana, please report any suspected abuse of a child at (800) 800-5556. If you live in Illinois, and you suspect the abuse of a child, please call (800) 252-2873 and report it. As mandated reporters, we will report to these hotlines as well, when we have reasonable cause to suspect the abuse of a child.

If you have been abused in the past, as a child or as an adult, please contact law enforcement where the abuse happened. In sexual abuse cases that are from the past, we are continuing to find, that it is imperative that the victim reports, in order to prosecute a sexual predator. We hope this direct approach will help us all move forward in the right direction.

We have been working with professionals on how to lawfully, morally and ethically deal with all the complexities included in this. We are pursuing more professional assistance as well, as we realize the scope of this is beyond the qualifications of most of us. We will continue to communicate to the churches, any additional information needed in order to deal with this in an appropriate manner.

In the mean time, please work with us by studying the documents that were sent to you in May. If you haven’t already, please take MinistrySafe Awareness Training. Parents, please take MinistrySafe Parent Training. If you need help locating and accessing MinistrySafe Awareness Training or MinistrySafe Parent Training, please let us know. An understanding of safe boundaries for everyone, an awareness of signs of sexual abuse, and an understanding of reporting responsibilities is very important for all. We really need the help of each of you right now.

With sincere care,

The Illinois / Indiana Staff

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The following is the second communication from Matt: to my knowledge based on my connections, this communication has not been forwarded by workers in other fields to the friends in their fields.

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Begin forwarded message:

From: Matthew Jensen
Date: June 22, 2023 at 1:24:18 PM CDT
To: Judy Bixby , Sharon Carroll , Kenion Coleman , Gloria Lorraine Edwards , Ardith Ellingson , Abigail Erickson , Dana Jacobsen , Peggy Jansen , Ethan Jekel , Leah Klepzig , Jon Knochenmus , Kevin Naillieux , Janet Nicol , Scott Potter , Loren Quick , Sharon Rostad , Janine Spieth , Roberta Stipp , Rose Taplin , Brian Wagler , Kristina Wagler
Subject: Update from Matthew Jensen

Dear Friends,
I need to inform you, that there are abuse allegations against Harold Brown, which are currently under investigation by law enforcement. If anyone has any information to share with law enforcement, you can contact the Illinois State Police Patrol Troop 6, at (217) 786-6677.

The safety of meetings is of paramount importance. So as a precaution, Harold Brown will not be physically attending any meeting, until more is known.

Matthew Jensen

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Following is my email to all Illinois workers Sunday, June 25, 2023 – it accidentally was not sent anonymous. The above content was attached to the email to the workers so they are aware of what has transpired to-date.

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Dear Workers,

I apologize it is necessary for me to remain anonymous at this time. I have been in communication with Jon K. since the beginning of June. I am not sure why Matt had Jon reach out to me but I am thankful for Jon’s kindness and verbal understanding when we spoke. Matt and Jon are on this email and there are others on here that likely will figure out who I am. If anyone feels the need to make my identity public, then so be it. God knows the motive of each heart.

It is very disturbing to me that Matt Jensen, as overseer in Illinois/Indiana has chosen to not communicate with you and ENFORCE that a communication MUST go out to all friends from workers (not elders) regarding sexual predators. This communication must go out from workers to all friends to have a hope that our fellowship can continue to be led by God. It should not be led by man, any man.

I am begging you to forward the email Matt sent Thursday, June 22 about Harold Brown to all the friends in your field.

I am attaching my story and all of the email communications I have had with Matt so you are aware of all that has transpired. It is very important that you read this so you can see directly for yourself what has been communicated to and from Matt. You may have been led to believe that I am the only one,or that it was a very long time ago etc. but a lot more has come out already, victims are connecting and more will be made known soon about Harold Brown that is abuse of others and it would be good if you are prepared for this. I suspect Matt may advise you not to read the attachment but that would be only if he is wanting to hide something from you. It is only my story and my emails to and from him. The only email I received FROM him was asking for my phone number.

I pray you will do the right thing and please let the friends know. This is a time of cleansing and it will bring all closer to God. The more we fight against the truth coming out and being dealt with, the more we are giving Satan the power.
I pray God will lead you through all these troubled waters we are in and that we can all just be closer to Him.

Thank you so much for the life you give. Please press into God’s word and let him guide you through this.
Thank you in advance for sending out the communication.
I greatly appreciate a response back that you received this and have forwarded to your field.

PS: Dana and Abigail – I know your field has received the email so you obviously aren’t expected to resend it. My prayers are with you. I am so sorry for the pain this has likely caused you.