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Reflections on the fallout in advocating for victims of sexual harassment

D. Beth Laswell Boelter

My letter sent today to Barry Barkley, Ray Hoffmann, Lyle Schober, Duane Hopkins, Jim Price, and Bruce Shaw.


My heart has been so moved to write to you, some 14 years after we experienced the “calling” to advocate for a young, single woman in our area, who cautiously shared with me the experience of sexual harassment she had recently suffered, with Leslie White. Some of you would have received my letter of concern, and request that Leslie be removed from the work, until further details could be determined, back in 2009. That letter went unanswered, except for Jim Price. Jim’s statement was simply that Leslie liked to acknowledge women’s beauty, as a compliment, but he was not aware of any situations that caused undue concern, in fact, all he had spoken with were of the agreement that Leslie presented no issues of concern.

As scripture dictates, upon hearing the full story from the victim, we immediately got in touch with you, Barry, and along with a witness (Chicago elder) met in our home, around the dining table with Tim and I, The Victim, a Chicago elder, Leslie White and Barry Barkley.

Leslie’s first words upon entering our home were, “is this a jury, and what are the charges?” There had been no communication on our part except with Barry, as to the deep concern we had for what had transpired in conversation with the victim. How was it that Leslie’s first comment was “what were the charges?” Was he aware of something that had transpired between he and the victim that could be considered worth a jury? Or with someone else?

After beginning with a prayer, Barry asked that each of the two share their accounts.

To explain the setting, the purpose for which Leslie had invited The Victim to join him and his companion for dinner (Jan 2009) was that he was going to give her the opportunity to return to meetings, and have a part, following her divorce several years earlier. What occurred was a denial on Leslie’s part of any of the questions the victim stated that Leslie had asked her, until he convicted himself by stating that he had in fact, asked her about orgasm. This was the proof that God had forced out of Leslie’s mouth. A question of this matter was surely proof that there had been a conversation that was way out of line, inappropriate, and leading to something far worse. Where does it ever become appropriate for the workers to ask questions of such a nature? You are not trained professionals in this area, nor should you really have any authority to speak on it, if you are living a celibate life. Yet, there seemed to be no reaction from Barry, whatsoever, as to how vile this conversation had been.

Some of those inappropriate and explicit questions can be viewed in the letter posted by Laura van Dijken, as it was detailed in one of the many excerpts from victims of Leslie’s.

I am the advocate mentioned in this victim’s excerpt. If you have not read that letter written to Leslie White, and sent 6/24/23, please refer here for a list of his questions:

1.           Did she ever have pleasure with her husband?
2.           How often did they have sex?
3.           Could her husband get an erection?
4.           Did he ejaculate?
5.           What did she do to excite him?
6.           Did she get him to masturbate?
7.           Did he think her body was attractive?
8.           Did he look at other women?
9.           In the times they did have sex, was he able to get her wet?
10.         “Any man with one red blood cell would have sex with her.” LW
11.         LW said he would have sex with her.
12.         LW said he would even marry her if he were younger.
13.         LW said she was an absolutely beautiful woman with a beautiful body.
14.         LW told her that he loved her 4 or 5 times during the evening conversation.

Leslie raised his hand to the heavens and stated, “God is my witness, I have never had a conversation with anyone about sexual matters, and I’ve never gone alone with a woman for dinner.” “I was a fool for going alone with the victim.” “I was a fool.” Within 30 minutes of that statement, however, he began talking about another couple he was counselling in IN, and mentioned the man had purchased “toys,” to which he had again contradicted what he’d just said!

Barry requested that Leslie not have any further conversations of this sort, with anyone, that he not travel alone, and that the subjects he chose to speak on in gospel meetings would not be inappropriate or ones that would make others feel uncomfortable, especially with children present.

What followed is the important part of my story and is meant to clarify that while we tried to advocate for this young woman, we were met with attitudes and opinions that I was not prepared for. I assumed that the workers response would be swift towards removing Leslie until they could make a better determination as to If there had been any other incidents like this, caring concern towards the victim, and appreciation of our efforts to protect other innocent women.

As Barry rode with my husband to the airport the next morning, he stated that it was best not to surge ahead of God in judgment. Barry told Tim that there would have to be further consideration as to whether this was a one-time occurrence, of which he stated that he knew of no other reports of this type of behavior, but if there was found to be a pattern of this behavior, then there would be a far greater matter to deal with. Barry did state, however, that he had received a report from a young sister worker that felt uncomfortable by Leslie’s conversation with her in front of younger brother workers, following the Special Meetings just recently completed in IN! We believed Barry’s statement, however, as we’d never heard of anything being reported against Leslie, or for that fact, any other of the workers!

Within weeks of the meeting in our home, my father called to tell me that his brother had just had a visit with Leslie, in Southern IN, when Leslie traveled there by himself; he was going on from there to another of my Aunt and Uncle’s, just to visit! My extended family knew nothing of this request Barry had made, nor of my involvement as an advocate for the victim, nor the sexual harassment the victim had experienced, nor did they have any reason to question why Leslie had come for an unannounced visit! My father knew more, however, as I had shared my heart with him for many hours during the months and months of this difficult experience.

About a month following our meeting, Barry called just to see how we were faring. I explained that the concern for protecting innocent victims, as well as LW’s spiritual well-being, his mental well-being, were still of greatest concern, as well as concern for future events such as this. Barry stated that it was a difficult situation because he was very familiar with both parties, and he didn’t believe either one to be purposefully speaking untruths, however, things did not line up with their stories, “it was a gray area,” because there was no proof of anything! He stated that some people say things quickly, and forget what they have said, and that perhaps things have become enlarged in the victim’s mind. This is called intimidation, casting doubt, and minimization, which is deflecting on what really happened!

To this, I stated, “but Barry, you do recall the statement that Leslie made, at the table, which was a confession of his behavior, don’t you?” Barry said he did not recall what I meant! I asked for permission to repeat Leslie’s statement, twice, before hesitatingly repeating what Leslie had said regarding orgasm. Barry said, “I had forgotten that.” This was the most incriminating and defining statement of the entire conversation that night. How could it have been forgotten?

Before anyone questions how I have recall of specific statements, I will add that every conversation I had with anyone during this timeframe, in regards to this subject, I was taking notes. I have documented records with dates!

Barry mentioned that they had met with two additional Senior male workers very recently, to discuss the situation, of which they agreed that Leslie should be carefully observed for any out of line discussions, in meetings, or with women, but especially not being left alone. I then reminded him of that request he had made in our home, and told him that Leslie was not following those orders, because I’d been made aware of his visits in IN to my relatives! Barry finished our conversation by saying that he would rather err on the side of being too slow to make the next move, rather than acting swiftly. Had this incriminating statement even been relayed to the other brothers?

The next 6 months were consumed with emails from Bruce Shaw, first wanting us to meet with 2 additional workers and the victim, which was then canceled because Barry had told him it would be worthless, a useless “he said, she said,” meeting like the last one! And, because I felt such an urgency for this matter, as Leslie continued to preach in gospel meetings, visit in homes, travel alone and with a co-worker, it seemed that nothing had changed! The victim was in touch with Barry, pleading that something more be done. She relayed to me his comments: It seemed as if the only way he would believe there were others harmed by Leslie was to give the names of others that the victim had had conversations with, to prove that this was not an isolated event. Barry again reiterated that he would not “surge ahead of God.” He stated that he didn’t think there was a problem with Leslie. When she asked what Barry was planning to do, he stated that he was choosing to do nothing! The victim then told Barry that she felt sure that Leslie would do it again, and if he did, the responsibility would then be with Barry for doing nothing. Barry ended the conversation by stating, “Just remember, you’ll suffer the consequences for every choice you make. If I remove or rebuke a brother, I suffer the consequences for that.” Does this not imply that Barry is more concerned about Leslie White than any of his victims!

Here’s where we began to realize that some unexpected things were happening, due to our continued involvement! I became aware that our names had been removed from the general friends’ email list. Our names were missing! Not that we would have even known we weren’t getting emails, but friends in the meeting realized that we had been left off the list, and thought it was just a simple mistake. This is called ex-communication, and shunning. And why, because I would not bury my head nor promise not to mention it again, as Bruce had requested!

I did not irresponsibly send emails to everyone I knew, in fact, I said nothing to any of those I continued to meet with on Sundays and Wednesdays, following the initial one-on-one meeting I had with each of the families, just to make them aware of the situation and what we felt moved to do.

I voiced my concern to Duane Hopkins via phone call, and two emails. I was told to leave it to the workers, and that trusting them would bring peace, rather than the emotional upset I was seeing my children and myself experience because of the dire circumstances we were facing in being called “troublemakers, unforgiving, hard-hearted, and being involved in issues that were not ours to be involved with.” I was also told by Duane that it was NOT a practice to move workers from place to place, after incidences like this, or worse! We know differently and have evidence of workers consistently being moved to another state when accusations have been made so they can remain unaddressed and unresolved. Duane also mentioned that in a recent workers meeting in TN, Leslie had been put on “probation.” He was to be watched for anything that was out of line, and he had promised to never do it again. Was this relayed to other workers, though, and friends? Was anyone made aware of this probation?

I heard the statements underlined above in the Sunday meetings for 1.5 years, nearly every meeting, by about half of those present, and from workers that visited the meeting too. I drove to meeting feeling nauseous and so anxious for what might be said, and every meeting except when there were visitors, it was the same. And, I cried all the way home! Instead of feeling free to uphold the standard that should’ve been set, advocating for victims of harm, supporting those willing to take a stand against abuse and harm, I believe that every one of those people were afraid of losing their place, losing their respect by the workers, and they’d rather lose friends than speak out, so they said nothing to support us in this effort, or to call out those that were doing wrong that they themselves had previously been aware of. Perhaps they spoke of the situation among themselves, but none came back to us for further clarification.

The victim requested outside intervention, and a mediation specialist heard both parties separately, and then together for a final meeting with the victim, Leslie, Jim Price, (Colorado Overseer), acting as a witness, and the mediation specialist. Leslie again denied all that he had been accused of saying. The mediation specialist gave a clear and dire warning, that unless a system was put into place with the church making it known that reporting abuse could be done without fear of retaliation, shunning, and disbelief, abuse would continue within the ministry, and it would become difficult to stand the test of time. He asked for a written statement that this system would be put into place, which was denied, stating that only Barry Barkley could make that decision. Ministry Safe classes were suggested as a means of making the worker staff aware of boundaries, how to be respectful of those in the homes they were staying, CSA, SA, etc.

Any workers taking this class would surely have no longer been ignorant of child sexual abuse, sexual abuse, and its effects on victims, even though many workers and overseers continue to state that they’ve only begun to understand the consequences of these acts! How is this even possible? It doesn’t take a class for us to understand what is morally and criminally wrong with sexual assault, child sexual assault, sexual harassment, and rape! I want to repeat this; 14 years after Ministry Safe classes were encouraged and requested for workers to take, workers and overseers are still saying that they had no idea of the long term effects of child sexual assault!

In January, 2010, we met with Bruce Shaw and Mark Peters. After berating me that I had written and sent a letter about Leslie all over the internet, of which I did not do, (my 8-page letter was sent to three workers), Bruce said he had not read it, nor had any intention to. Bruce stated that no matter what Leslie had been accused of or convicted of, his behavior had no reflection on the ministry, or Bruce, himself, and he actually didn’t care what Leslie did! READ THAT AGAIN! We countered that statement with the belief on our part that it truly is a reflection on the ministry, and we are to be responsible for the behavior of our brothers, especially the workers who are acting as shepherds, loving and protecting the innocent sheep.

Bruce followed that by requesting that I should no longer feel free to take part in meeting, until I had sought out Leslie, forgiven him, and then and only then, could I consider having a part in meeting! I repeated his request, to be sure I had heard correctly, as I was completely stunned, and taken off guard! Removing someone from the meetings because they stand by a victim of sexual harassment is so, so wrong. Our heart and home had always been open to countless workers, friends, and those who needed a listening ear in times of hardship or times of fellowship. Not only were they punishing me for supporting a victim of sexual harassment, and trying to bring the terrible danger to light, but I was being silenced! This is ex-communication!

Tim mentioned those verses in Matt. 7 v.15, “beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep clothing but are ravening wolves…” and the real danger that we must be on guard against. Bruce became enraged at this statement, slammed his Bible shut, and stated that they were leaving! I pleaded with Bruce that we were simply quoting verses that warn us, and we should heed the warnings, but he would have no part of further conversation.

I’m stating the obvious when I say that the harm, the hurt, the distrust, the feeling of being abandoned by those you’ve spent most of your lives with, is something that cannot fully be explained unless you’ve lived it. Upon hearing of the DB case, and what became evident from those opening his laptop, and as his victims began coming forward, I immediately felt nauseous, triggered by the pain and anguish for how we’d been treated, the Victim had been disbelieved and labeled, and the anxiety, PTSD, and other feelings that came to the surface, for victims, both adults and children, of this vile behavior.

It’s obvious now that these types of abuse have been going on within the church for generations, but when you are fully aware of it, and choose to move the workers responsible to another state, or when another overseer comes to a state after the perpetrator has been moved, and then claims, “well, I wasn’t here at the time, so I really don’t know much about it,” therein lies another problem. Either you’ve been told, but it’s best to act like you haven’t been, so that you can say you didn’t really know the details, therefore not being required to get involved, OR you weren’t told, and this only lets the perpetrator continue to harm innocent souls. Neither one is acceptable. And, it sets a dangerous precedent for your female sister workers, and innocent women, men and children not knowing who to watch out for!

Fourteen years have gone by since I pleaded with you to take some action, by emailing those at the highest authority, with specific details of this entire story for Leslie and any others that were guilty of harming innocent women, men, and children. They had no place as a minister, no matter their status, spending nights in homes with young children, visiting single women, taking liberties at convention grounds, or wherever else violators seek out victims. Fourteen years, and what has happened?

To my surprise, during the early summer of 2012, I received a call from a sister worker that had been a prior victim of LW, and that was Laura. Over three hours of conversation ensued, and my heart broke for her.

When my father heard that Ray Hoffmann would be at McCordsville Convention in 2012, he sought him out. My father, who was heartbroken over what had transpired, wanted to share a little about me, as he now had become an advocate not only for those being abused, but for those who were standing up against abuse! Ray’s first comment to my father was “they’re out,” speaking of our current status in the church! To clarify, my dad stated that it was because it had been forced; that’s what happens when you tell someone they can no longer take part in meeting, and how heartbreaking that it was over standing as an advocate! We weren’t acting immorally, behaving in ways that were detrimental to the church, or anything that is generally found as reason to silence someone!

More concerning though, was his statement, “if it weren’t for this sister worker, Leslie would still be in the work.” The exact statement was also repeated to me by a couple I was in touch with who resided far from IL; this couple lived in TX, and had more than one conversation with Ray Hoffmann about this situation. Once again, did no one know what Leslie was capable of, and had done to others, or were they hiding his behavior because of fear of man, loss of position, a loss to the church membership trust, or fear that something in their past would be revealed if they spoke up about Leslie’s behavior? I’ve recently read Ray’s comments to another victim of sexual abuse when asked about what the policy will be when others come forward to report, and he said, “well, it’s tricky because a lot of times victims who come forward are mentally unstable and while we feel for them, it’s hard to know what to do.” April, 2023!

What an outrage to make such a statement! This only emphasizes the lack of knowledge, empathy and understanding of how such a traumatic event can impact a victim. There is significant data demonstrating that a victim of any form of a sexual crime can experience PTSD, suicide, self-harm, depression, etc., as a direct result of trauma. The real question that should be asked is “what happened to you,” NOT “what is wrong with you.” The saddest part is that no one will or can ever fully understand or have compassion and empathy for something they have not experienced themselves. Maybe before judgment is handed out to the victim while the perpetrator is protected, you should ask yourself, “how would I feel if this had been my experience?”

It should be understood that victims will be emotionally impacted, feel unsafe, remain in fear, have nightmares and panic attacks, engage in hypervigilance and avoidance and shut down completely in response to the trauma. Any worker who does not fully understand this should have absolutely NO access to the victim or be a part of their healing. Because any subsequent involvement in the situation only serves to increase fear, lack of safety, and lack of trust while also recreating, re-triggering and reinforcing the initial trauma for the victim, which greatly reduces opportunities for healing.

My phone continued to ring, from 2009-2012. And, I continued to receive emails, and requests to speak to other victims of Leslie White. I didn’t reach out; they found me. The questioning was nearly the same; questions that no worker has the right to ask of the sexual relationship of a couple. It was simply a way to open the door for more, and depending on the strength of his victims, they may not have welcomed his advances, but they were too weak to fight it because of the name of Leslie White, and who would ever believe them if they told what had happened! I had conversations with women from CA, GA, OH, MO, IN, and TX, all of whom were deeply concerned for the harm they had endured by Leslie White. They sought me out; I listened, I sympathized, and I encouraged them that they were worthy of better, and that they should report it.

We all know that at this point, every aspect of business, sports, religious organizations, political figures, and the media have been accused of illegal behavior towards women. Abuse of women and children is not OK, in any of these scenarios, but especially by those who are supposed to be shepherds and caretakers of the sheep; those in the ministry, and those who are acting as “administrators” of the ministry.

Hiding the facts from parents is not OK, when they’re spending nights in the homes where young children reside. Hiding the facts from sister workers is not OK when they should know to be careful around some of these predators. Hiding perpetrators and violators of women by moving them around from state to state is not OK when they only find a new territory to terrorize with their abuse. And lastly, hiding what has been going on for years, as if it’s something you’ve just become aware of seems ludicrous and unbelievable. How many innocent victims have been hurt in the 14 years since my letter, and my pleading to not only remove Leslie from the work, but any others who were predators. What hurts worse? Is it hiding the facts for fear of losing those in the fellowship, or losing those in the fellowship because you’ve been hiding the facts and haven’t been transparent as to what you’ve allowed all these years?

My father spoke to Lyle Schober at one of the last conventions he was able to attend, and he made a point to spend a few minutes talking with him about this situation. Lyle told my father that what had happened in Chicago to our family “was a tragedy, and they all knew it.” However, upon my dad’s request to bring it to light, be transparent with the friends who we’d known for many years, to the workers throughout IL, and beyond, and to those who might’ve been harmed as well, Lyle stated that “as they have all been told one thing, for us to come back now and tell them something different would cause confusion.” In other words, they had no intention to say any more; no intention to reach out to the victims of sexual harassment, no intention to reach out to the advocates who were victimized, or the children of the advocates who witnessed the “outing” of their parents because they dared stand up to behavior unbecoming of anyone, let alone those who claimed to be “servants of God.” My father’s request that Lyle Schober contact me directly went unheeded, even though he was given my email address and personal phone number.

I’ve spoken to no one about any of this from our circle of friends in fellowship since this occurred in 2009, nor have they asked. I’ve heard that it was said “we” had said none of the friends were welcome in our home. That is completely untrue; we don’t know who said that, but we did not! Choosing not to host the meeting in your home is not the same as saying “no one is welcome anymore.” Bruce Shaw was told he was not welcome, simply due to the fact that his attitude about sexual harassment and assault with regards to a worker was that it was no reflection on the ministry, or himself, and therefore, he was no longer welcome in our home. His behavior was something I’ve never witnessed in a worker. We followed scripture even in this, I Corinth. 5:11. And, Matt. 18 as we followed the course as written: Go to the violator, then go to others if the violator doesn’t hear you, then tell the church if they further persist in not hearing you. Then, don’t have fellowship with the violator.

It’s a sad state of affairs when something so morally wrong, brought to the attention of the workers, ends in those reporting or advocating, to be “cast out,” by the hierarchy. No wonder people wait 5, 10, 20, 30, or more years to report something so vile and so wrong! And, no wonder advocates are far and few between, because they know they’ll take the fall for speaking up in defense of a victim who has been harmed. We were warned! The victim warned us that we needed to be absolutely sure we were prepared for what might come, if we got involved! There was no question that it was THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO, REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME! This behavior is so far from what Jesus lived and preached; we were given minds to reason right from wrong; we were given a conscience to know right from wrong, and a mouthpiece to speak when we see something wrong. What has been the course for too many years is reprimanding, ex-communicating, shunning, and speaking ill of those people who speak out. Forgiveness seemed to be their focus, but here’s what we know about forgiveness.

Forgiveness can help free one from the control of the person who harmed you, but forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It would seem that their thinking was, if I forgave Leslie, I would never mention it again, regardless of the fact that he was still an active worker, and going against requests by his overseer, Barry Barkley. It’s this very control and fear that keeps victims from coming forward, and silence only allows the perpetrator the freedom to continue to hurt and harm others.

For too long, victims have been forced to bury what was done to them; children of child sexual assault will never fully recover, as it will be carried with them in every aspect of their life. It is unbelievable to me that you would not realize the depth of the harm, and not have such a burning desire to make things whole, acknowledge the victims and offer support and help for their recovery, acknowledge those who’ve served as advocates for others, who also then became victimized because they would not be quiet, acknowledge the violators and remove them, protect innocent children from CSA, and acknowledge the administrative staff that have taken liberties with others, and when found out, are simply moved to another state or location, where it all begins again.

I’ve very recently been told that LW stated to an acquaintance of mine that I was “mentally unstable, and emotionally troubled, and had been all of my life,” as he was sneaking around on his own, visiting people that I might have told this story to, just to see what they would report to him. How incredibly wrong that statement is, and how slanderous. Our home was an open home for workers, friends, those going through tough times and those who were rejoicing, for Wednesday night meetings for 13 plus years, on a weekly basis, and if you were to ask anyone of those friends who knew us well, I am certain you’d hear nothing but positive things. Defaming others is just part of the “control,” in order to keep things quiet when there is danger on the forefront.

I was even told that you, Barry, had remarked to someone very close to our family, that I had “misquoted and misrepresented you,” and for that, you chose not to have further conversation with me (late 2009). Barry, you’ve known me all my life; as well as my parents and my grandparents, and have known them all to be honorable people, not afraid to show compassion to others who were less fortunate, as well as being a friend to the old and young. If we don’t understand the directive to be our brother’s keeper, to carry them when they’re unable to carry themselves, to encourage and show love regardless of status or culture, then something is severely missing from our understanding of the Bible.

What are you afraid of? Is it hiding what those in the hierarchy are aware of, because everyone has something to hide, so it’s easier to shuffle them around, and carry on, and not be truthful when hard questions are asked? NOTHING is hidden from God, and shouldn’t that be a far greater concern and motivation to do the right thing, than fear of man, fear of losing place, losing respect, losing money, losing members?

For fourteen years, we’ve lived with the realization that nothing would have been done, had it not been for the sister worker who came forward with a much more damaging experience, even though she was repeatedly disbelieved, and labeled as “troubled.” At that point, it seemed the ministry became aware that there was only one thing to do, and that was to remove Leslie White from the work, even though it seemed “forced, and unfair.” We were told by only one worker, Jeff Thayer, that they all agreed it had been handled very poorly. But, he also said he wasn’t here when it happened, and really didn’t have many details. What was the response then, when a year later, Leslie sent letters to his CO followers, and others around the country, that the case had been dropped against him re: the sister worker, and he was free to rebuild from this damaging accusation? And what am I reading now, that Leslie is participating in gospel meetings, with permission by Ray Hoffmann? And visiting in homes like nothing has happened; homes where young children reside, and homes where the husband is away at work. And they had no idea of the suffering Leslie White has caused!

You would not be aware of the mental trauma, the anxiety, the recognition that you’re not believed, the effects of “removing” someone from having a place and part in the fellowship, the confusion that enters a child’s mind as a result of watching these things transpire, when their parents have been Godly and upright people, and the end result, far too often, of wanting no ties with religion!

What I evidently didn’t make clear 14 years ago in letters with Duane Hopkins, Lyle Schober, Jim Price, and conversations with you, Barry, I’m attempting to make clear now. It’s not enough to “leave it to the workers,” because you did nothing to rectify a situation even much larger than we were aware of, in covering those who were abusing children, men and women! It’s not enough to trust that it’s in the hands of those who are responsible, and will make the right decision, because you didn’t. And what has remained is the pattern of abuse, coverups, and lack of transparency to parents, worker staff, and the church, for which you are responsible.

Once again, I’m sending my true and honest statement of what transpired here in IL, back in 2009-2012 when a senior, administrative worker took liberty to speak in a way that is deemed “sexual harassment,” with a young single woman, and close friend of ours; she requested that we stand with her to help her advocate for the wrongdoing. What occurred as a result of our speaking the truth, out of respect for victims, respect for violators who need help, and care for the church is detailed above. The policy of encouraging reporting needs to become crystal clear if people are being asked to speak out. Victim shaming is not the answer, and this is not OK!

It seems apparent at this writing that this behavior, and much that we were not aware of by many other workers throughout the USA, Canada, and beyond has been going on for years, covered for years, and left to harm countless. I’ve never been able to understand how none of the workers would take a stand with us and require that there be a change. I had no idea how dark, criminal, and vile things really were among some of those men who stood on the platform, speaking from the Bible, as they upheld a “standard” for the one true Church we were to live by, yet were living lives most of us would never dream of, behind our backs.

People are sickened, sad, had their entire foundation upended, and are counting on you to do the right thing. What are they to expect? How is it possible to right the ship with the same leadership in charge who is unwilling to listen to those begging for change; leadership that has known and covered for others for far too long!

You did not surge ahead of God, but instead, thought you could handle the abuse by Leslie White best yourselves, by waiting, and praying for direction. I find it hard to believe that God didn’t give you a little tap on the shoulder, your conscience, to pull you in the right direction, to do the right thing. Maybe you weren’t listening. I hope everyone is listening now.

Beyond saddened and concerned in Illinois, USA – Beth Laswell Boelter

Victor’s second letter to Ray Hoffmann

Ray,

I have elected to write you this follow up letter because I never want to appear to be purposely inaccurate or hurt any cause.

Since I sent you my letter, apparently there have been many phone calls between people discussing my sexual abuse as a child. I was not privy to a single one and those discussing my case were never present. I was asked to retract your and John’s name with association to it. I was also asked to retract the story about your own abuse and sharing with others. Extended family members feel these are inaccurate.

I will say that if they are, I am not above humbling myself and apologizing. I was a child. I was not present for any (if any) conversations that occurred after my abuse was brought to light. I had not heard your or John’s names (or any workers) associated with the event before the day my husband and I had been sitting at bedside with my father in December 2021. I will agree that Dad was heavily medicated at the time. He desperately wanted to speak to me about how sorry he was that he had not protected me back then. It was an extremely uncomfortable conversation. He once again asked me for deeper details. I think he sensed I was not telling him everything. Frankly, I just didn’t want to share everything at the time. I had placed that horrible time and the events that surrounded it in a vault and I just didn’t want to remove it. My husband and children were all that knew. (and later a therapist) He mentioned a few things that I have not discussed publicly to date about a couple of people I thought to be Clarence’s victims as well. (which Dad had spoken about) I have been told they were actually Clarence’s son in laws victims. Seems their family had a lot of issues. I have to trust I am being told the truth and with that being said then have to admit, Dad may have been getting people confused in his stories and comments.

I had been building some anger towards you stewing on this. I just didn’t know when or how to address it. It wasn’t until the Dean Bruer case that I decided to say my piece. I emailed you directly. I had nothing to be ashamed about or concerned that I was inaccurate at that time.

My extended family says there is no way you and John could have known because it was a “family issue.” I was in no way even remotely related to Clarence, so I don’t totally understand that blanket comment. I suppose my greatest anger, other than to Clarence, is to a family who clearly cared so little for others that they would cover for someone and allow them to harm others outside their family in the meetings. I find it especially upsetting that it was one of his very victims that made the comment. Which goes to show just how ill people are when it comes to child sexual abuse and even their response to it.

So for the sake of transparency and accuracy, I am apologizing and retracting my accusations. I, in no way, can offer any proof of anyone’s involvement. I have family who are greatly concerned about how they are being perceived within the meeting by my comments and their place within it. I am tired. I am tired of the ugliness and vitriol.

I am placing my story back in the vault, just as it had been for the past 43 years. I wish the subject had never even come up now. It seems to have just caused a big mess when all I wanted to do was get things off my chest once and for all and also help others along the way. I have made attempts to remove the story from any public or private domain.

I’m sorry for any trouble this has caused you. Feel free to share with whomever you wish.

Sincerely,

Theresa Chambers Hensley


WINGS Note: This letter replaces a letter previously posted with the author’s approval. See https://wingsfortruth.info/2023/06/20/victors-letter-to-ray-hoffman/

Craig Fulton – failure to report?

Dear all,

First and foremost, I want to warn every reader of the contents of this letter. The topic of child sexual abuse and sexual abuse, hereafter referred to as CSA and SA respectfully, will be covered. I feel that these topics are too important to ignore, however if you do not have the mental space for this right now, take a moment and look after yourself. Come back if you feel up to it at a later point, otherwise delete it.

I did not want to write this letter. I hoped that there would be no need for such a situation, however through the actions of the overseer, Craig Fulton, I feel that there is no other option. On 18/06/2023 at 20:39, I sent the following text to Craig Fulton. 


Dear Craig,

It has come to my attention that several serious issues are being ignored in Ireland within the truth. The most serious of these are your dealings with cases of sexual abuse and child sexual abuse.

As you will be aware, under the Children First Act 2015, you are a mandated reporter under section 2 and Schedule 2 paragraph 15(g): “member of the clergy (howsoever described) or pastoral care worker (howsoever described) of a church or other religious community”

The responsibility of a mandated reporter is as such:

“Mandated persons have two main legal obligations under the Children First Act 2015: 

To report harm of children, above a defined threshold, to Tusla;
To assist Tusla, if requested, in assessing a concern which has been the subject of a mandated report.” 

In Northern Ireland, under the Criminal Law Act 1967,
“Where a person has committed [a relevant offence], any other person who, knowing or believing him to be guilty of the offence or of some [other relevant offence], does without lawful authority or reasonable excuse any act with intent to impede his apprehension or prosecution, shall be guilty of an offence.” 

The law is clear. You are legally obliged to assist the law in the protection of children. This means that the moment that you hear a report of child sexual abuse, whether you believe it to be true or not, you must report it to the authorities. That I have to spell this out to you disappoints me, however you have clearly shown that you feel that the law can be ignored. Therefore, if I do not hear of reasonable evidence that you have fulfilled your legal obligations within one (1) week, I will share this message al and the context behind it with the internet, with as many friends in Ireland as possible and with as many who have left as possible. This is not an empty threat. I will do this.

Yours sincerely,

LM and JV.


The week is now up. Craig has unfortunately not provided reasonable evidence that he has reported known evidence to the appropriate authorities, nor have I heard reports of his actions in attempting the aforementioned task. I will therefore be true to my word and give the context of this message to you.

To the best of my knowledge, Craig Fulton, having received from an alleged perpetrator a spoken declaration of guilt, declined to give a statement to the local authorities about said evidence and has allowed the alleged perpetrator to attend local missions and bible studies.

Having heard of a further alleged perpetrator, Craig did not fulfil his responsibility as a mandated reporter to bring this to local authorities. This alleged perpetrator has had no consequences and is still allowed to attend all gatherings.

When John Johnston was removed from the work due to at least two allegations of abuse, there was no communication surrounding the reasons why this happened. This has meant that some people supporting John may have been put at risk through a lack of open and honest communication from those in responsible positions. John is also, as an alleged perpetrator, still permitted to attend all gatherings.

John Gunn, accused of allegations of abuse in Spain and Chile, was turned away from Carrick convention last week when some friends heard of the allegations from those close to a victim and approached Craig to request that he not be allowed to attend the convention. Craig agreed, being in the presence of 5 other individuals and John Gunn was turned away. No communication surrounding his absences was provided during the rest of the convention. Further sources determined that there were plans to send John Gunn to Chile for special meetings earlier in the year, however those in Chile refused to allow John Gunn back. It is therefore likely that Craig has known about this situation for an extended period of time.

In general, Craig and other workers on the Island of Ireland have been allowing alleged perpetrators to continue their lives with little to no consequence. When alleged perpetrators have been discovered, there has been little to no communication surrounding the issues, at the most, the individual has just been removed without further comment. This is unacceptable. Hiding those accused of CSA and SA, is allowing those individuals to have access to the vulnerable, creating the potential for more abuse.

Yours sincerely,

LM and JV

Milford Townhall with Ray Hoffmann

WINGS note: Mr. Hoffmann issues challenge to prove cover-ups.


Setting the scene

90 minute discussion, about 50 people in attendance, 7 workers arranged in a big oval. Ray Hoffmann and Barry Barkley were two of the workers in attendance. The discussion started with a hymn.

Discussion

The first person that spoke was Barry. He stated an apology and that they were there to listen and learn.

Someone spoke next about their professional experience with children that have been a victim of abuse. Explained that it often takes years for a child to come forward and that statistically they only mention it once. This is part of why it is so important to believe victims when they come forward. The speaker expressed concern that when instances of abuse are brought to light that nothing is reported to authorities and perpetrators are simply shuffled to another field. They then told a story about a rape victim that they only discovered because the victim began to self mutilate. The rapist was a known offender moved into that field, and there were other victims after they were moved. The speaker asked for reassurance that the decision makers would make good decisions for everyone. (This request was not responded to by the workers).

The next person to speak said that the only way any of these perpetrators have a chance with God is to be in jail where they can’t hurt anyone. Where they have time to think and repent.

The next person said that they were glad the workers were at this town hall tending to the flock. They told stories of generations of sexual abuse in the family from perpetrators within and outside of meeting. They said we need to understand the difference between legal and moral and that the legal aspect of this would catch up to the ministry. They asked a rhetorical question: “where is the scripture that supports covering up? David’s sin was not covered up.” They ended by saying there is hope.

A brother worker responded with “the more informed we are the more we can move forward.” He explained that the CSA stuff was new to them and that MinistrySafe has been a real eye-opener.

Someone spoke in response to this worker that “no adult needs a course, book, or instructor to tell them that rape and child molestation is bad”.

The next person to speak stated that they wanted reassurance that all allegations would be reported and people in the area be informed.

The moderator tried to bring the mic to Ray Hoffmann to respond to this and Ray motioned the mic away and did not respond.

The next person said “how can we know children will be safe” (at meetings, conventions, etc.)

A brother worker responded with “that’s a hard question to answer but parents need to be aware of where their children are and who they are with. It’s a red flag if they are separated.”

Someone responded to this saying that this implies that parents of victims are to blame for not watching their children like a hawk and that guilt should be placed on the parents. The perpetrator is 100% responsible in every case. They then shared their own experience as a victim of CSA and explained how their parents knew exactly where they were but had entrusted them in someone’s care that ended up taking advantage of them..

Someone else responded to this by saying that it’s definitely partially on parents but parents know this and they know to watch out for their kids. The lack of communication is a big part of the issue. People are not told about perpetrators when they are transferred to their area. They also noted that the only information about this topic is from a website run by people who no longer go to meeting. They also called out the cover ups and victim shaming.

A few people made demands for a public blacklist of perpetrators to keep people more informed and aware. Workers seemed to be open to that but no verbal confirmation from them.

Someone mentioned that Ray’s name was brought up in a few posts about coverups and that people were calling on him to step down.

Ray zeroed in on one report. He painted a picture of the reporter being untrustworthy. He said “I’m not aware of anything I’ve been involved with with CSA. If people can prove that I knowingly moved a perpetrator to another field I will happily step down, I will happily step down, I will go to jail, I’m not afraid of jail. I don’t think it would be wise to step down off the suggestion of one person.”

Someone responded to Ray by saying “on the behalf of all victims, believe victims”.

A question was asked how we as families can keep the ministry safe. The interpretation of the question was “how can we make sure there aren’t perpetrators in the ministry”.

A sister worker responded with referencing the MinistrySafe course again and being informed.

Someone suggested that some kind of group is created of sister workers and mothers to be a resource for victims. If something were to happen to someone they would know of a safe group of people they could take their case to.

Someone asked why overseers travel alone and that maybe if they didn’t travel alone, they couldn’t lure people into their hotel room.

Ray responded to this by saying that that is a great suggestion and that he fears traveling alone. That he doesn’t like it when his name shows up alone on a list. (doesn’t he make the list?).

It was stated many times throughout that there needs to be better communication and we need to be able to trust that the workers will inform us immediately and those people need to be removed from meeting, special meetings, and conventions. That there is no grey area in waiting for the law to deal with it.

Ray responded to this by saying that they have notified known perpetrators that they are no longer welcome. If anyone shows up they will be escorted off the premises. He encouraged people to come forward with any cases or allegations and even things that just seem like red flags.

Someone responded agreeing and that it is important to put out the fires when they’re small.

Someone had a follow up of “what is the biblical justification for overseers?”

Ray referenced James as an overseer and that James had the last word. He also said that someone has to make the plans and organize. He then said that he used to be Catholic and he definitely won’t be going back to that and that he didn’t like the hierarchy.

The person who asked said “there is a hierarchy of the friends, elders, sister workers, brother workers, older workers, and overseers.”

Ray said that it’s important to have overseers who are led by God and to manage, otherwise every worker would just be doing what they think is right. (Pointing to the sisters workers) he says the sister workers are submissive in their place and are happy to be. Maybe you would like to speak on that? (Motioning for a sister worker to speak).

The sister worker described her relationship with their coworker as a marriage and that she feels her older companion is in a lot of ways in service to her.

A brother worker shared his testimony and love for being a worker and serving the friends. He said that he has respect for the overseers he’s been led by and that they’ve (the overseers he’s been under, not all overseers) always had the kingdom’s best interest at heart.

Someone shared that we are like a family and that being abused by someone in this way is not like being abused by someone from outside. Paraphrasing: There is a different level of trust/betrayal.

Someone spoke on the importance of talking about everything and coming together in unity and focusing on serving God.

Someone responded to the workers defending the hierarchy saying that they weren’t trying to poke holes in anything and that they love this way. That their trust hasn’t been broken by the workers in general by those in power, the overseers. They said that there needs to be reflection and accountability there.

The discussion ended by Ray saying “we’re sorry and thank you”

Victims of Leslie White speak out

WINGS Note: These victims have said “please feel free to share wherever with whomever”. 


Leslie White, 

This letter is for you, from all of us known and unknown who you have abused through your terrible misuse of assumed power. Please know that we in this letter are only a small representation of the lives you have personally damaged. 

You have molested us, raped us, had inappropriate sexual conversations with us, touched us inappropriately, hugged and kissed us forcibly, against our will, asked us inappropriate questions, you have demeaned, threatened, groomed us, made us trust you, coerced and forced us to be a part of things we didn’t ask for and that we didn’t want to be a part of in any way, shape or form. 

You have robbed us of much, taken our power and silenced our voices but we are here to say no more, enough! 

No longer do we fear you, no longer will we be silent, lest we also would be amongst those who have in their silence and inaction enable you to continue to abuse and ruin the lives of precious souls. 
We are taking back our power.
Now it is our turn to do the asking. 

We request that you would acknowledge your abuse of us all and that you would permanently remove yourself from all meetings and gatherings effective immediately. This is in accordance with how the scriptures tell us that evil doers like yourself should be handled. 

After all that you have taken from us we are not asking much. 

You are a predator, a violator, you are not safe to be around women and children. This is mercy for your soul to remove you from temptations which you so obviously cannot refuse. 

JoNell McDaniel: Leslie was so overpowering and flew so deeply under the radar. I was so afraid of him.

Leslie loved to visit me alone at my house and in his secluded little cabin on the convention grounds in Elizabeth. 

He asked me to buy him a couple of ties, because his were getting worn. 
Of course, he wanted me to deliver those to the cabin during convention. 
He was on such a power trip. 
He makes me sick

Anonymous: When I was in my 30’s Leslie’s abuse was on going over a period of several years. Leslie would come through and visit alone on his way to overseer meetings in Tennessee. I experienced inappropriate touching and sexually explicit comments and conversations. His abuse had such a physical, emotional and mental affect on me and made me so ill that for quite some time I couldn’t even care for myself. 

I reported and shared my handwritten account with the sheriff’s dept in 2012.

Kim: Leslie abused me in my 40s.  A meeting took place sometime around 2000/2002 with Leslie, Marlon Halbakken, Marge Major, along with my grandma Maxine Felton. I begged that Leslie would step down from the work as I felt he wouldn’t stop his behaviour and it would only get worse. Leslie’s abuse of me included unwelcome visits to a lady alone in her home. Inappropriate sexual conversations, Inappropriate touching, forced kissing. Leslie stole my soul and I hate that. 

I reported to sheriffs dept in 2012.

Laura Jelinek van Dijken: I was around 22 years old and had been in the work for about 2 years and 3 months when I was raped by Leslie White at Elizabeth preps in Colorado in 2003. 

Leslie said he would do a walk through of the area where I’d been working that day. 

He raped me up in the nursery, told me to clean up the mess and I was threatened among other things he said that I would would be put out of the work and out of meetings if I ever spoke up and that no one would believe me, that they would believe him because of who he was. 

I still remember the sound of that door shutting. 

I shoved the trauma under to survive and went on with my life and never said a word. I was called to go in the work and I didn’t want to have to leave and I definitely didn’t want to be told I couldn’t go to meetings. 

Plus Leslie was my overseer, the one making the plans for my life. Who was I supposed to turn to? So I just pretended everything was fine and I believed it was…until it wasn’t.

In 2011 I returned from working in Finland/ Scandinavia. I was not feeling well at all. I hadn’t really been sleeping for quite some time because it didn’t feel safe. By that time I was very sick and felt like my body was shutting down. It felt like it was saying “You’re not taking care of me so I’m not working for you anymore. 

I went to York convention that year and found out shortly beforehand that Leslie was supposed to be there. He cornered me at some point in the dining shed and asked me if I was still keeping silent. I said yes. I ended up speaking in the same meeting as him and felt so sick. 

In 2012 I was put in touch with a professional trauma counselor who was a huge part of what essentially helped save my life. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and hyper vigilance. I was so busy throwing myself into taking care of others so I wouldn’t have to feel or deal with my own pain but I could hardly function. I remember having thoughts while driving the road and thinking how nice it would be to be hit by a truck and just have all the pain ended and over with. 

I eventually disclosed the rape to my counselor and in time he helped me tell my sister who was my co-worker at the time.  

In April of 2012 I finally got to the place of desperation where I could no longer remain silent about what Leslie did. 

I knew that if I keep silent the abuse would continue.

I wrote to Lyle Schober, he called me, he let Ray Hoffmann know and Ray was in touch with Leslie. 

I had a meeting with Ray, Lyle, my sister, my 1st co worker and a friend who works in the legal department concerning sexual abuse in mid May. 

Ray and Lyle said they couldn’t make the decision for me but that they strongly encouraged me to report to the sheriff’s department in Colorado and they said that it would be the leverage that would need to get Leslie out of the ministry.

I was told this was mercy for Leslie because maybe it would help him to realize what he’d done and take it seriously and that maybe it would be a chance for him to repent and make things right. 

I didn’t want to report to the sheriff’s dept and relive the horror that this man had done to me but at the same time I desperately wanted Leslie’s abuse of women stopped.

I reported to the sheriffs dept in May 2012. Ray informed Leslie that day that effective immediately he was no longer in the work. 

During the course of the investigation I was told that many many reports had come in from all over the US. 

The nature of these reports was anything from someone feeling uncomfortable around Leslie, unwanted sexual conversations or questions, grooming behaviour, visiting women alone, inappropriate touching forced kissing etc. 

 In spite of the countless reports that came in to the investigator it unfortunately never went court. The case went inactive last year after 10 years. 

From all I’ve heard Leslie has continued his behaviour and because of Ray Hoffmann’s refusal to put him out of all meetings and Ray and other overseers refusal to write a letter and notify the church (the people) of Leslie’s behaviour and lack of repentance his behaviour has been allowed to continued and his abuse of women and young girls has been enabled. 

In 2012 Ray Hoffmann looked me in the eye and promised and assured me that Leslie White would never be in the work again, yet in April of 2023, 11 years later, it was discovered that Ray himself was letting Leslie speak in gospel meetings. When asked why, Ray answered; “Maybe not the wisest choice”. 

I cannot help but feel righteous anger that Leslie wasn’t removed from the work long ago. Barry Barkley and Ray Hoffmann are partially responsible for all those who were abused after the very first time they heard of his behaviour and essentially did nothing. A friend in Colorado told me in 2012 that her Aunt had had problems with him in Georgia 50 years before this. Your knowledge of Leslie’s abuse has never been 1 isolated occasion that you could write off as a simple innocent lack of judgement.

Anonymous

I want to talk about shame.

SHAME. It’s what I’ve been cloaked in for such a long time. It’s what I felt at convention one year when I was 12/13 when a brother worker who was very well respected by everyone sexually assaulted me.

SHAME. It’s what I felt that same convention when I took too many of my anti-anxiety meds and started having issues breathing.

SHAME. It’s what I felt when the ambulance had to come get me from the convention grounds.

SHAME. It’s what I felt when my parents had to come pick me up after getting my stomach pumped.

SHAME. It’s what I felt when that same brother worker wrote a letter to my parents telling them that due to my ‘suicide attempt’ I was no longer welcome on those convention grounds.

SHAME. Red hot. Creeping up my face. I felt it in my bones. I tried years to bury it. I used drugs, alcohol, I cut myself, I DID try to commit suicide. More than once.

SHAME led to self hatred led to very abusive relationships and a self destructive lifestyle that I’m lucky I survived from at all.

SHAME is what I talked about today in therapy. Years of it rolled down my face as I said that brother workers name.

SHAME is what HE should feel, having hurt many others besides me. 

I put my shame back on him, I put my shame on the fact he’s still (to my knowledge less than a month ago) ACTIVELY participating in meetings.

He should feel every ounce of his survivors shame, every bit of our fear, our sadness our collective pain. He did MUCH WORSE to others than he did to me.

He should be ostracized, cast out.

He should be IN PRISON for the acts he’s committed.

But he isn’t. He’s free. 

And finally after years and years, I’m free too. 

SHAME: I put it all back on you, Leslie White.

Tava Z: I was 9 years old when Leslie molested me in my house. The abuse was on going.   

Reported to PI Liles 2023. 

Anonymous: I’ve been asked to share a bit about my experiences with Leslie White, both as a teenager and again as a young married woman. I was probably 15-16 when he appeared (unexpectedly) at a gathering of young people in our home. He was “holding court” with all the young girls clinging to his every word. I was very uncomfortable with the whole situation. When it was time for him to leave, he was hugging the women/girls and shaking hands with the men. When he got to me, I awkwardly extended my hand to shake and he ignored that and pulled me into a hug that was a very inappropriate “full frontal” hug. I quickly extricated myself and pushed away from him. I thought I had, through my body language, made my opinion of him crystal clear. 

Several years later, when I moved to the state where he was the overseer, I heard stories from the other married ladies of LW showing up, alone and uninvited, to their homes when their husbands would be gone working. I thought, “he’d never do that to me, he knows I don’t like him at all.” I was quite surprised when he showed up, not once, not twice, but three different times. Each time, he was alone, uninvited, and my husband was gone. The first time, I ignored the bell because I had been warned he just stopped down the street and was in the neighborhood. (Imagine that, the professing ladies playing a game of telephone to warn one another that the overseer was making his rounds, alone, to see the married ladies!?) The second time I told him that I believed in the verse that said abstain from even the appearance of evil so he wouldn’t be coming into my house when I was there alone. The third time, he called through the door and said that he just needed to use the telephone. Again, I refused him entry while I was there alone and told him there was a pay phone at the gas station down the road. 

In all of these interactions, I felt like he was testing my response to see what he could get by with. I was never raised to worship workers and was always told by my parents that if something feels wrong, trust your gut. I am very thankful for that. I am also thankful for the more experienced, slightly older married ladies in my town who had warned several of us that were newly married and quite young that this may happen. Their courage to speak up gave us the courage to say no when he showed up uninvited. While these things were not criminal, they were definitely inappropriate and not the behavior of a true servant of God.

Anonymous: I was a teenager when Leslie was around my sister and I a lot. He would hug us and was very touchy feely with us and it made us so uncomfortable. 

Anonymous: At convention in August, 2008, Leslie White spoke to me briefly in the dining tent about returning to the meetings, and having a part again, following my divorce. 
He mentioned that he would be in touch to find a time to have that conversation. 

In January, 2009, Leslie was having gospel meetings in the area, and contacted me to follow through on his earlier promise to have a conversation about meetings. 

Leslie invited me to join him and his companion for dinner with the purpose of providing me with an opportunity to return to meetings, have a part, following my divorce several years earlier. 

Leslie asked me numerous times to meet at my home for dinner, to which I replied that I did not feel comfortable with two men in my home, alone. We agreed to meet at a restaurant for dinner, however, only Leslie attended and made an excuse as to why his companion did not attend. 

Following conversation about family and life, with dinner finished, Leslie stated that he wasn’t finished with our meeting. I suggested that we could go to a coffee shop, to which he stated that he didn’t want more coffee. 

He suggested that we go to my house; I denied that request repeatedly, stating that it was inappropriate, and he should not consider that an option. 

Leslie continued to try to break me down to convince me to allow him to come to my home, which included statements that he didn’t care if things weren’t in order, or that he wouldn’t go upstairs. After offering several public locations to continue the meeting, Leslie finally agreed to meet at a large public mall, in view of others. At this location, the conversation turned to a far more personal subject involving my relationship with my ex-husband, specifically my sexual relationship with my ex-husband.

For reference, here are some of the questions he asked me:

1. Did you ever have pleasure with your husband?
2. How often did the two of you have sex?
3. Could my husband get an erection?
4. Did he ejaculate?
5. What did I do to excite him?
6. Did I get him to masturbate?
7. Did he think your body was attractive?
8. Did he look at other women?
9. In the times you did have sex, was he able to get you wet?
10. “Any man with one red blood cell would have sex with you.” Statement by LW
11. Leslie said he would have sex with me.
12. Leslie said he would even marry me if he were younger.
13. Leslie said I was an absolutely beautiful woman with a beautiful body.
14. Leslie told me that he loved me 4 or 5 times during the evening conversation.

Following this very uncomfortable conversation, I felt extremely violated by someone I had been taught to trust and respect. 

I reached out to friends from meeting that I knew I could trust with this sensitive information. Without hesitation, they began to advocate for me and initiated contact with Barry Barkley. 

Barry flew from the East Coast to attend a meeting at this couples’ home, where Leslie, Barry, the couple, myself, and an Elder from the area spent 3 hours in a conversation about the incident. Leslie denied everything that I mentioned he had said to me that evening.

However, during a pause in conversation, he blurted out, “I did ask you about orgasm.” “Did I say that right?” This was the moment his entire denial would be seen as a lie, when he convicted himself.

Over the course of many months, emails were exchanged with workers who had been put in charge of handling this situation by covering his behavior as “he’s just a human, and we all make mistakes,” calling me “a troubled woman,” asking for additional time to see if there was a pattern to Leslie’s behavior or if it was a one-time occurrence. 

At my request for outside intervention, a mediation specialist heard both parties separately, and then together for a final meeting, in August 2010.

At that final meeting, Leslie denied he’d ever mentioned any of the above-mentioned statements, including the orgasm comment. The mediation specialist gave a dire warning that unless a system was put into place where people could feel free from the fear of retaliation or disbelief by coming forward in abusive experiences, that this behavior would continue amongst the ministry, and it would not stand the test of time. 

He asked that the worker, Jim Price, who was acting as witness for the final meeting, agree to such a system, to which he refused by stating that those decisions would need to come from Barry Barkley. 

The mediation specialist suggested Ministry Safe as a means that all workers/ministers should take, to better understand their roles, and safekeeping as they stayed in other’s homes. 

Barry Barkley continued to remain in touch with me through email, often discussing his travels and time with various workers and friends, never making mention of the incident with Leslie and how it was progressing. 

It is now 2023, and in light of all that is happening in the Truth, I felt compelled to include my experience, knowing that Leslie White was never held accountable for his behavior, but was allowed to continue in the Work, often meeting with other women alone, and traveling without a companion. 

To all the workers who were involved in this situation, investigation, and mediation that chose to blame the victim while protecting the abuser, you are just as liable and responsible for promoting dishonesty, immorality and illegal behaviors within the Truth. 

A mother: In light of all that has been brought to the attention of workers and friends in the last few months, regarding CSA, SA, sexual harassment, and inappropriate behavior within the ministry, I felt it was necessary to share concerns that I felt with comments Leslie White made to me in regards to my then 13 year old daughter, at convention. 

Leslie had just arrived in IN, and was getting acquainted with everyone between meetings. I was in the meeting shed when he came up to me, and stated that he had met my youngest daughter, and she was “absolutely stunning,” and the most beautiful young girl he’d ever met! 

He went on with similar comments for a minute or so, I thanked him, and then moved on. 

At the moment he said those things, a flash of concern ran through my mind, just for a split second, because it seemed so passionate and a little unexpected from a male worker. I reassured myself that my thought was entirely wrong, and actually felt guilty for even considering some concern, as we often heard people compliment our girls’ appearance. 

What I was unaware of was the fact that Leslie White made a practice of this behavior and conversation. 

What seemed as an innocent compliment may have been nothing more, in this case, as I kept a close eye on my children. But Momma Bear would’ve certainly stopped at nothing to protect my children had anything else seemed out of line.

Anonymous: I was abused by Leslie in Indiana around 2009. I was young, beautiful, and in a difficult relationship. Leslie thought he could prey on me by phone. He asked me sexually inappropriate questions. I hung up on him because of my disgust.

Anonymous: In 1987 Leslie was visiting at our home. I think he was overseer of iowa at the time. I was 14 and he told me that he noticed I had slimmed down and that my figure was looking good. It was awkward. I can’t remember if my mom overheard him say it, but I did discuss it with her. Everyone thought Leslie was the greatest so everything he did or said was perfect.

In July/August of 1993 when I was 19 and about to turn 20, I had just given birth two weeks prior (pregnancy from being raped by a professing family member that I was protecting at the time), and I was visiting my parents when Leslie also came to their place after Brownstown, IL convention. Leslie lectured me at length that if I kept myself pure I could be forgiven and could be eligible for marriage.  (I had always believed and heard growing up in meetings that the workers were so close to God they would say and do the right thing even if they didn’t know the whole story.) The next morning my siblings and I all took a picture with Leslie and he had his arm wrapped around my waist for the picture and I was SO uncomfortable!!!

I believe Leslie was trying to be encouraging to me and he probably didn’t realize how uncomfortable I was feeling in both instances. I don’t believe he was coming on to me, but it was truly a lack of boundaries on his part.

I wish I could find that picture. I think it’s somewhere at my parents and it would take quite a bit of time to locate it. 

Cynthia Liles, PI: Information on the internet indicated White had finally been removed from the work in 2012 after years of complaints and the allegation of rape. 

I noticed online there were a couple of comments suggesting White was actually still in the work in Maine. I learned in late March or early April of 2023 that Ray Hoffmann indeed had let him back in the work by letting him speak in gospel meetings. 

This was confirmed with Ray in a phone call. 

Over the course of the last 3 months and even before the news of Dean Bruer broke I have received numerous messages and calls in regards to Leslie White.

A note to the administrators, workers elders and friends everywhere. We plead with you in the meekness and gentleness of Christ, do not ignore the crimes of this man and others any longer. 

We beg you to deal with every perpetrators according to God’s clear scripture and in and with God’s Spirit. 

The question needs to be asked; 

WHY victims are so often not believed, not supported, not validated. 

Why are there so many concessions for the violators, why do you protect them, cover up what they’ve done and dismiss and re-traumatize us? 

Why do you allow them to continue abusing others?

We feel that it is because the violators and perpetrators are most often well known, someone in a place of power. 

While the victims are most often unable to reveal their identity (they shouldn’t have to) and so to you they remain faceless and nameless. 

So let us introduce ourselves and just know that every victim falls into one or more of these categories. We are women, we are mothers, we are your sisters, daughters, nieces, we are your sister workers, we are grandmothers and from a even less heard from group sometimes we are men, boys, your sons, nephews, uncles, fathers and grandfathers. 

Most of all we are God’s children, we are souls and we matter too. 

Whether we were children or adults when the abuse happened, whether our abuser or abuse was one time or many, whether we still go to meeting or not, we matter.

Please don’t lend a deaf ear or turn a blind eye to us anymore.

Sincerely, 

Just a very small representation of the many. 

Merlin Affleck apology to friends and workers

(Note: Revised apology below: June 23, 2023)

June 19, 2023

Dear friends and fellow workers,

I want to extend a personal apology to each along with this updated Child Safe Policy. A while ago I was encouraged to seek out some professional / professing help to address the Child Safe Abuse (CSA) issues that have come to light in recent times. Three couples were chosen to help, and their dedication and professionalism have taken a heavy load off me. Recently 13 couples representing all fields in BC attended a Zoom session to review and critique the CSA policy. Stemming from this meeting, further constructive edits were made. This document was then reviewed by a CSA legal specialist for accuracy and legal compliance. Now we would like each elder to distribute a copy of the Child Safe Policy to each member attending the church in their home.

In hindsight I realize more than ever that I was in over my head and floundering as I was trying to understand and get up to speed with CSA. I do want to apologize to victims amongst us for my lack of understanding and the additional pain that this has caused them. I truly am sorry. The Ministry Safe Course we all took in 2021 was an eye opener, but that was just the beginning. I want to say “thank you” to those who have constructively reached out to help myself and others in the ministry who are coming from a background of zero understanding of CSA to become more aware and educated regarding the damage abuse does to little lives and the long-lasting effects that result.

Moving forward I do feel we are in a much stronger position to deal with CSA appropriately. Some of the new tools at our disposal are:

  • Clearer guidelines, education, and awareness that past generations did not have. Recently, it was wonderful to see the response to an apology from the BC ministry to an older couple who felt betrayed in the past. She was able to die with peace in her heart and he is presently attending meetings again. We want to recognize and apologize for any other historical cases in BC.
  • We understand that good victim therapy is expensive. We’d like to encourage victims from CSA to seek this help and If the CSA came from the BC ministry we’d like to offer to help with these costs if possible. Please feel free to bring these concerns to us for consideration.
  • Our professing /professional advisory panel (similar to Acts 6) has kindly offered to help us navigate through CSA issues. I hope we all can appreciate their efforts and sacrifice helping us find a way through these issues in a more united way. We are aware that our enemy’s most effective tool is the wedge- creating divisiveness.
  • Communication will be better going forward. We need to accept the fact that most communication will end up on social media but despite this we will endeavor to send out little updates more regularly to keep us all on the same page regarding things relevant to BC.
  • Recently a person shared their story of coming ‘full circle,’ giving God the glory for a power beyond human strength to forgive and love those who at one time had been abusive. Isn’t this the power that our Master displayed at the cross as He was being abused sexually, verbally, physically, and emotionally, and then uttering the words “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”. This allowed Him to slip into eternity with a free spirit. We don’t want to overlook this most powerful tool that is at the disposal of every true child of God. This victim also stated that convention memories were the 5 most wonderful days of each year free from abuse. Going forward with more awareness and better tools, conventions can be an even safer memory maker for our youth.

Thank you for your patience in these stormy waters and I hope I can regain your trust going forward. I do love this Kingdom and especially the youth in it and pledge to do whatever is best for the Kingdom.

Your brother in Christ,

Merlin

REVISED APOLOGY June 23,2023

June 23, 2023
Dear friends and fellow workers,
I want to extend a personal apology to each along with this Child Safe Policy. I have been becoming more aware and educated regarding the damage abuse does to little lives and the long-lasting effects that result.

In hindsight I realize more than ever that I was in over my head and floundering as I was trying to understand and get up to speed with CSA (Child Sexual Abuse). I do want to apologize to the victims amongst us for my lack of understanding and the additional pain that this has caused them. I truly am sorry. The Ministry Safe Course we all took in 2021 was an eye-opener, but that was just the beginning. I want to say “thank you” to those who have constructively reached out to help me and others in the ministry who are coming from a background of zero understanding of CSA.

Now we would like each elder to distribute a copy of the Child Safe Policy to each member attending the church in their home. To address the Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) issues that have come to light in recent times, I was encouraged to seek out some professional/professing help. Three couples (similar to Acts 6) were chosen to help us and their dedication and professionalism has taken a huge load off me. Recently 13 couples representing all fields in BC attended a Zoom session to review and critique the CSA policy. Stemming from this meeting, further constructive edits were made. The policy was then reviewed by 2 lawyers and a CSA professional to ensure the children are protected and our policy is in legal compliance.

Moving forward: we are in a much stronger position to deal with CSA appropriately with more awareness and better tools:

  • We want to recognize and apologize for historical cases in BC. Recently, it was wonderful to see the response to an apology from the BC ministry to an older couple who felt betrayed in the past. She was able to die with peace in her heart and he is presently attending meetings again.
  • Clearer guidelines, education, and awareness that past generations did not have. I hope we all can work together to find a way through these issues in a more united way. We are aware that our enemy’s most effective tool is wedge-creating divisiveness.
  • We understand that good victim therapy is expensive. We’d like to encourage victims from CSA to seek this help and if the CSA came from the BC ministry we’d like to offer to help with these costs if possible. Please feel free to bring these concerns to us for consideration.
  • To help us navigate through CSA issues, communication will be better going forward. We need to accept the fact that most communication will end up on social media but despite this, we will endeavour to send out little updates more regularly to keep us all on the same page regarding things relevant to BC.
  • Making conventions a safe memory maker for our youth. A victim stated that convention memories were the 5 most wonderful days of each year free from abuse.

This morning I read over the story of the man who was stripped and wounded and left half dead (Luke 10:30-35). Hopefully going forward I have learned a little more about compassion from victims who have shared their stories and instead of walking past without understanding I will have a toolbox with some oil (comfort) and wine (disinfectant for bitterness) and love to bind up wounds.

We are more thankful than ever for our innkeepers (elders & wives) who can offer rest and safety and a place of healing for the victims amongst us.

Thank you for your patience in these stormy waters and I hope I can regain your trust going forward. I do love this Kingdom and especially the youth in it and pledge to do whatever is best for the Kingdom.

Your brother in Christ,

Merlin

Rob Newman letter to friends June 2023

20 June 2023 Update

Greetings–

We intended to get weekly updates posted here in this folder, so our apologies since this hasn’t always happened – we’ve just been fully occupied with travel, visits and communications.

Glad to say our friends who are psychologists, clinical social workers and professional counselors who have made themselves available to assist in finding help, now have their website up and active: https://dev.resourcesforhealing.org/home We appreciate the care and help represented by their efforts and sacrifice to reach out and make themselves available. We have also been reaching out to known victims to see if there are ways we can help them receive therapy, if needed. We invite any victims to be in touch.

In the last couple weeks we have worked at addressing some new CSA allegations that have been brought to our attention. All of these have been asked to not attend any meetings until risk is assessed and appropriate measures are taken:

  • Gilbert Smith, an allegation from when he was in the work about 20 years ago was sent to us, he is going through the professional risk evaluation process, as mentioned in the Child Safe Policy document (here in this folder, and sent out to everyone a few weeks ago).
  • Rodney Loera, several allegations from 30-40 years ago when he was in the work in Mexico and Central America have come to light, he also is beginning the risk evaluation process with a professional.
  • Manny Delacruz, there have been some behavioral questions and his testimony at Casa Grande convention raised alarms and precipitated a CSA report by a concerned person. Language and misunderstanding have been an added complication. All of his children (a daughter and three sons) are focusing on helping Manny strictly address issues while they await the CSA report outcome.
  • Joe Schoen, two allegations have recently surfaced from some 20 years ago when he was in the work, he is beginning the risk evaluation process.

Through the past little while we have felt His help and presence near and some scriptures have become more real and meaningful. Maybe we can share a couple here:

  • Nahum 1 – this whole chapter tells of God taking vengeance, even mentioning Him being furious. We know that nothing at all escapes His knowing, and everything is within His power: woe be us if we feel we can hide anything from Him. In His own time and way He does cleanse His kingdom, on many levels. Problems do happen, but an important test of our faith is whether we will follow Jesus in how we react and respond to problems. Nahum 1:3 “… the Lord has His way in the whirlwind and the storm”– it is amazing how God is working purposefully and carefully in what we may perceive as ‘chaos.’ May our faith make it possible for Him to include us in the solution that honors Him. Also Nahum 1:7 “… He knoweth them that trust in Him.” It’s wonderful when we honor Him by trusting His plan and timing.
    The resurrection belongs to Him– the power that does the glorious when there seems to be no hope.
  • 1Corinthians 1:19-31 – especially v23, God’s way is a stumblingblock and foolishness to the logic and reason of men– how Jesus got the victory through the crucifixion. As He said in Matthew 18, humility is crucial– we honor God by being quiet within, asking Him to show us His way, and allowing Him to give us the grace to walk with Him in His way– then, v31, the glory goes to the Lord where it belongs. As we cling to the Rock, the stability and peace of the Rock becomes ours and we reflect the same precious peace to the world around us.

In closing, we want to again thank all of you who have selflessly helped us with the current issues, decisions and needs. We also thank all of you for your care and prayers, knowing our Father is watching over all things.

With care,

Rob and helpers

Lack of transparency in BC

Dear Merlin,

This letter is also addressed to Reid, Paul and Joshua.

It has come to our attention that you are spreading the word that we are speaking to people to gather support for us having lost our Sunday meeting and asking them to speak up on our behalf. THIS IS NOT TRUE. We have NOT requested of ONE single person to reach out to any one of you with respect to our meeting being “taken away”. We encourage you to ask anyone that have written you about the removal of our meeting whether we had asked them to do so.

We continue with our Sunday meeting. Nothing to take away. We enjoy it when others attend our Sunday meeting on an ad-hoc basis to add to our number.

Note the following for the record:

  1. With respect to our Sunday meeting, we have not gone looking for support from any person whatsoever.
  2. Many people have however heard of the decision regarding our meeting and have reached out to US. Many of those people we have never even met before. Most of those people have shared with us their frustrations with the workers in BC and the mishandling of issues (see 3 below).
  3. We have communicated the following concerns to you (as have many others):
    • Handling of CSA issues and suppression of transparency. (Why is there still no general notification of current CSA investigations in BC in order that victims be made aware. Also there has been no notification of members stepping down from Merlin’s CSA committee, why not?);
    • The unacceptable treatment, silencing and bullying of sister workers;
    • Overseers and workers’ abuse of power;
    • Suggested changes to restore trust and a healthy foundation for our fellowship.
  4. We have communicated with friends regarding the manner in which you, as ministers in a position of trust have been conducting yourselves. One such issue is bold faced lying and below is a recent example:
    • Reid and Joshua, you have spoken to people this past week suggesting that you have been trying to arrange to meet with us and that we have not accepted this – HOW do you manage to lie so blatantly? You know that after Gospel meeting when we greeted you at the door that we INVITED you to come to our place. Specifically, you Joshua. We were genuinely pleased to see you when you took Paul’s place with Reid and we specifically said to you after your first Gospel meeting “thank you for a Gospel message today and please come and visit us anytime”. You know that we invited you directly more than once and you, Reid, know and heard that invitation after Gospel meeting. You have our cell phone numbers and email addresses and we have not received a single request to meet.
    • If anyone of you did send requests to meet with us and if we declined or if you did not receive a reply from us: please forward the time-stamped communication to us and everyone on this letter.

There have been meetings with concerned friends in BC where you are KNOWN to have LIED and be very clear: several people present in those meetings KNOW the truth. How do you expect the friends in our fellowship to have any trust in the ministry when you yourselves don’t follow the most basic Doctrine?

Merlin, we understand that communication was sent to elders recently regarding baptism arrangements. While we had heard of it, we never received any details. We then contacted Reid by text to ask if there were recent communications and were told there was communication about baptism, but without any details. We still have not received details from Reid or anyone else. This does beg the question whether you, Merlin, Paul, Joshua and Reid consider our children as unworthy of baptism? Interestingly, our text to Reid was recent and further evidence of how there has been ample opportunity for Reid and Joshua to make contact to meet with us.

Kind regards

Jeremy and Leonie Tomlinson


WINGS Note: See more at

https://wingsfortruth.info/2023/05/11/suggestions-to-address-serious-concerns-about-the-ministry/

https://wingsfortruth.info/2023/04/26/letter-from-friends-to-overseer-merlin-affleck-and-vancouver-workers/

Letter from BC worker Edward Emberton

June 2023

It has become clear that questions are being asked about how I, Edward Emberton, came to be in the work in Canada.

First, I would like to make it clear that I was not transferred to Canada from England, as is often the case when immoral or illegal behavior has come to light. There has never been any suggestion of anything like this in my case.

As many of you already know, I spent 5 years in the work in England, and was asked to go to Switzerland as a temporary exchange for Rheinhard Wicks. This was intended to be for 1 year but became 2, and was a transformative part of my experience. I began to love my place in the work while I was in Switzerland, and a part of my heart is still there. Unfortunately, during my time there, I became ill with Lyme disease, having been bitten by a tick a few months before going. I returned to England early, and it was soon clear that I must take a break from the work, and I’m grateful to this day for one of the friends who told me about Lyme disease, which made it possible to get treatment. It was 4½ years before my health was back to a point that I could think about the work again.

I was very aware when I arrived in Canada that speaking openly about the following few years would create judgements toward me, and create more questions and division, rather than encouraging unity. It seemed best that we would speak openly about my experience if it would be beneficial to the fellowship, and otherwise not. I feel the time has come to speak openly, and I hope no one feels mislead by this approach. I have been grateful to be judged not by my past but by my present amongst you. Very few know my full story. I have never said anything untrue but we have felt it better to not include all details until now.

After 4½ years I reached the point that I felt strong enough to be in the work again, and was grateful to be given the chance of this in England. This was a very positive time, and confirmed to me that my calling was to the work. During the next 18 months I became aware of a case of Child Sexual Abuse in my field, and when the victim, aged 18, confided in me and confirmed what one of the friends had suggested to me and my co-worker, it was clear to me that she was speaking the truth. I approached my overseer and explained what I had seen and heard, and asked for his advice on how to proceed. I was very disappointed to be told “We have experience with this girl, and she is a liar” which we have since heard is a common response. I was told to cut off all contact with her as it was inappropriate that I, a single male, would be in communication with a young female on such matters. I relied that I would be very happy to cut off all contact, as soon as he would arrange someone more appropriate than myself to give her the help and support that she needed, and that I had promised to give her. He refused to do this, and two weeks later it was clear that he would ask me to step back from the work. I was very grateful for the offer of Shaun Buckley to intercede for me, as we had been co-workers for a short time before this, but I knew that no one was able to help me now. Two weeks later I was dismissed form the work, and the victim was cut off from fellowship, leaving her father to be in full fellowship. He was made an elder in due course, but got offended and died outside of fellowship.

The opportunity soon arose for me to go and work as an electrician in Switzerland, and I was happy to accept this, partly because I felt it would be helpful for both sides to have some distance. I worked there for about 7 years before I felt the door was closing. During this time I was determined to find a solution, and not just ‘run away’ as others had done in the past, and so returned to England for conventions and Special Meetings when I had the opportunity. Twice I begged the overseer for a solution, but he refused. The third request for a visit was refused, and so I wrote a few times, which only made him angry. I understood at that point there could never be resolution during his lifetime, and found this is a very dark place, when all hope is lost.

I came to Canada for my brother’s wedding and met with Shaun en route for a few days. We had a good visit and I shared my feelings that Switzerland was closing down for me, and that it was time to move on, although I was unsure where to. BC felt right to me, and Shaun encouraged me to explore the options. After the wedding, I returned to convention in Switzerland where the message was repeated many times, “Lift up your eyes and move on” like Abraham did. I felt this was a very clear message to me, and so started exploring the options. I soon found that a job offer would be needed, although this proved difficult, but then I flew over for Shaun’s funeral, and returned with two job offers. The rest is history, as they say!

I feel that my time in BC has been a time of healing for the hurt caused in England, which I am grateful for. I felt confident that CSA would be dealt with very differently than in England, and was very happy to hear it spoke on during our virtual convention in 2021. Ī welcomed the training we did, and would welcome more. Unfortunately, this ha snot brought a change of attitude here, and I have been very distressed to find a similar approach to the one I saw in England. I have asked for updates to the cases here in BC but it hasn’t happened, all our information on local cases comes from hearsay, which has weighed heavily on me recently, but I am encouraged to hear of some places where this is no longer the case. I yearn for the day that survivors in BC get the recognition and help that they deserve.

I believe that the cleansing that is now beginning will be positive for our fellowship despite being painful, and hope for a brighter future. I also understand that releasing this account of my experiences will cause some to view me in a negative light, and this could mean that it is best for me to step back from the work completely. If it seems appropriate, I would very much like to be active again one day, my intention has always been to be a blessing as a servant to the lambs and the sheep of His fold, and I hope I can continue to be this, in whatever capacity. My choice would have been to leave the past behind, but recent events and rumours force us to be more transparent. Our recent study in Proverbs 21:3 states “To do justice and judgement is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice” which seems very relevant – my sacrifice in the work means nothing if it is facilitating abuse of whatever kind.

I am grateful for the help of my Heavenly Father through each stage of my experiences, and feel this has forced me to grow and mature in ways that could not have been possible otherwise. I am also grateful for those I have grown close to in each place where I have labored. I hope this growth can be put to good use.


WINGS Note: Edward is currently on the “Care of health” list by choice