I’m sorry for the length of this when everyone is already weary from a lot of reading.
TLDR version: I’m not going to be a worker or come to meetings anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoco1CQ7qU0&ab_channel=PaperHorses
It sounds so inadequate to say, but I want to say thank you to Sheri Autrey, Lauren Rohs, and Cynthia Liles. I know hardly a fraction of what they have done over the past eight months and more, trying to help a church that refuses to help itself.
There is no end to what could be written, but many other exit letters have already said it far better than I could. Instead, I will paste some things that I have already written in emails to the NC/VA/MD/DE workers and some notes from things I said in NC and VA listening sessions.
Your friend and brother, Jared Snyder
June 3, 2023 email to NC/VA/MD/DE workers:
“I think some of us have gotten too self-righteous about “not reading stuff on the internet” because it’s “not good feeding ground” and it has rendered us clueless in the current situation. The Bible itself gives a n unblinking, realistic account of some horrible things, including the failings of God’s own people. We all need to be aware simultaneously of what is going on and discussions that are happening so that we can face reality together. The cluelessness that I’m trying to call out is something I have been guilty of for a long time. I have “not gotten it” in every way there is to “not get it”, but there’s no need to stay that way.”
“Who is really happy and healthy among us, or do we feel we have to act that way, and that everyone else should too? I had a horrific nervous breakdown several years ago, simply from being a worker and trying to do what workers do and I often worry about the daily misery that my co-workers, especially the young ones, might be experiencing for reasons they can’t sort out. But there’s never time to really stop and think without the pounding drum of the next upcoming worker duty overtaking your thoughts. For many it has been far worse:”
“Eli’s sons were so despicable that the people abhorred the offering of the Lord. We should also acknowledge God’s displeasure that many have been robbed of the ability to enjoy fellowship among us. We have lived to the drumbeat of the gospel meeting, special meeting, convention routine for so long that we are hypnotized. We can’t tear ourselves away from this religious routine long enough to get together and address a very obvious crisis as the family that we supposedly are.”
June 5, 2023 email to NC/VA/MD/DE workers:
Are any of us interested in having a discussion about how we’ll communicate with our young families about keeping their children safe at convention this year?
Hodgie Holgerson molested a child in Hawaii before eventually moving to Virginia. We didn’t know this but it was whispered about among our friends for years that “something happened” with a hushed fearfulness that they might be gossiping or too judgmental. Hodgie has been attending Virginia conventions for years and using his beekeeping hobby to groom and gain access to children. There is now another allegation, from more recent years, that has surfaced since the one that prompted our letter. This game of “who can be the most spiritual” can be a dangerous one when we can’t say what we know or feel for fear of being considered not spiritual enough.
If being spiritual means never getting upset about anything, ever, then I have started to lose the game badly. When Jesus was turning over tables there was probably someone reminding him that it was a house of prayer and to calm down. (Written before Ron Thomke spoke this very thing at Downings this year)
This is the Lord’s war with Amalek in OUR generation, why is it so upsetting that some want to blot out his remembrance from under heaven, instead of sparing him for another generation?
It is hard to give yourself to evangelism when you’re unsure of how a vulnerable new babe might be treated, or what old and dead traditions might be thrust on them, like a yoke that neither we nor our fathers were able to bear.
The next time there is a septic problem during a convention I’ll remind everyone that God is on the throne, to not let their heart be troubled, and assure them that I’m going to go pray about it. If it’s really bad we’ll call in the help of the older brothers, who apparently have more access to the Holy Spirit than the rest of us, based on what we’re hearing back from some. If I live another twenty or thirty years, I look forward to the benefits of this extra dispensation.
Can anyone offer a starting point for coming together and having conversations and considering questions that are not the least bit new among our friends, who open their homes to us?
Jun 24, 2023 Holly Springs, NC listening session
Jared shared that he felt that this was an initially slow and personal process that began for him when the information was shared about Dean Brue r and became more intense with the news of more overseers having to step aside due to allegations. He felt very much that the Lord is purging His ministry and this began for him a process of self examination and then opening himself to God’s examination that He would reveal if there was anyone he had not listened to or not been there for in their time of need. More broadly, we should be asking, as a ministry, who have we failed and what can we do for them?”
July 11, 2023 Huntersville, NC listening session
- If I love someone’s soul, I want them to believe in Jesus. If they believe in Jesus, that will get them to heaven and eternal life. They don’t have to believe in a homeless, celibate, 2 x2 ministry. They just need to believe in Jesus.
- God knows who and where people are. God can keep them alive and feed them. That’s the kind of servant I want to be, to feed that faith. I don’t know what my future will look like, but that’s what faith is, isn’t it? Does it require more faith to do the same thing you’ve always done, or to do what you’ve never done before when God is asking for it?
Aug 3, 2023 Bolivia, NC listening session
I also think about realizing the experience of a survivor of abuse and how we have failed to understand the long term trauma they experience. We’ve had a goal of getting people in meetings, but now I can understand why they couldn’t bring themselves to come to meeting. Jeremiah 6: 4-16 NIV “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush.”
I feel like this is something we have done. People who have been wounded in the worst kind of way, just had their wound not taken seriously and we do need to feel ashamed of that. I wish I could take a walk back through my 21 years in the work and change things I may have said or thought about people who stopped coming to meetings in the past. As these meetings have been going on, things have been changing and one thing I have been thinking about recently is there is a strong possibility of a split and people pulling back from coming to meetings. That is not a choice that anyone is making lightly and it is quite agonizing for them.
Aug 8, 2023 Fredericksburg, VA listening session
Collectively we have not entered this process of repentance as a ministry. The reaction of some will be “I haven’t done anything.” Ask God what HAVE I done? Who have I harmed? Experience of a victim: not just what was done but years later processing, speaking up but not being believed, seeing nothing done to the offender, can’t go to meeting so others say they “lost out” or have gotten offended. This is an agonizing struggle. So we’ve all done harm at times by not understanding people and what they’ve gone through.
At recent sessions it has been pointed out that we ask, who is being brought into the fellowship? But should we be asking how many have we driven away? We’ve driven many away. So what does God want? God has given no guarantee that this ministry will continue like it is, but He and His Son will be there. Also there’s no guarantee what this fellowship will be. But put your faith in Him.
Referring to ourselves as the “kingdom” – it’s actually whoever is serving the king. Who’s submitted to the king. Can we say that we are the only ones on the earth that are right while all of this is going on? Seems foolish. The Lord knows who are his. Shameful that we have said our form is the truth, not Jesus. God has been very merciful to us as a people. Makes you wonder what he wants next. Maybe interact with others in our community who are also trying to be Christians.
Sept 2023 Greensboro, NC convention
I want to add my witness to Greg’s [Greg Swenson], I have also had visits with people who have decided to stop coming to meetings for the time being and they are not losing out or falling away from God. A friend that I grew up with testified in court about a criminal act of abuse done to a child by an elder that she witnessed and the overseer made it known that she was not to be in meeting if she testified – that overseer is still in the work, and where does that leave her? It goes beyond that. We have brothers and sisters in Christ that have a relationship with God, believe in Jesus, are born again, are seeking to be led by the Holy Spirit, and will inherit eternal life who have never met or heard a worker. They don’t know this ministry or fellowship exists and they are alive to God. Something we need to chew on. Why aren’t we having fellowship with those people.
WINGS Note: Jared Snyder and Greg Swenson are two brother workers in North Carolina who took a “leave of absence” after the NC/VA conventions this year and began traveling around US listening to/supporting others. The NC/VA/MD/DE workers list shows a blank by both their names–no field, no explanation, just phone and address.
Jared’s letter was sent November 16, 2023.
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WINGS for Truth 
Amen.
Give yourself a pat on the back…but don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Beholder, you are exposing your lack of compassion to us all
No compassion for those that would destroy the fellowship. Traitors are the worst.
Beholder the first words that come to my mind are, you miserable creep, but I don’t talk that way and mostly don’t think that way.
The Lord rebuke you for your lack of love, kindness and wisdom.
I’m hoping that you are making a sarcastic statement about the way that the workers likely will react to Jared’s letter. If not, then you are not a very nice person.
How on earth is this a Christlike response to someone who’s struggling to figure out how they fit into God’s kingdom?
Beholder — I would agree with you, “No compassion for those that would destroy the fellowship. Traitors are the worst.” Those many workers that are following after their own lustful desires, sexually abusing weaker, vulnerable victims, those workers that are not following after God’s Word and spiritually abusing many, many people who are genuinely seeking Christ, yes these despicable humans are traitors. They are the traitors. Traitors to God and traitors to those who seek him. And also yes, those traitors have already destroyed the “fellowship”. That ship has sailed. And those many people that have been abused, are never coming back. They realized the truth, and it is not the truth it was purported to be because of the traitors.
Beholder,
You are an idiot and I wish you would shut up.
From a worker in the fellowship
Couldn’t have said it better!
Sam, a worker that encourages people to leave the fellowship is a traitor. No question. Jared thinks alot of Jared, all he wants is attention on himself, that is not a true worker, so let him go be a Rev. in the Church Of CCF…..
CULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“pat on the back”, isn’t that what professing people do when they give their testimony? Give themselves a nice pat on the back for giving said testimony in the light of the unforgiveable things they did the night before? People in the truth are in the truth because of everyone else. It’s a scam. Narcissists dream! Workers telling people if they are going to hell or heaven based on the amount of money they can get from your pocket. Workers took advantage of my grandmother and scammed her out of everything she had. Cars, medical procedures, clothes, purses, you name it…..My uncle told Sam McCracken to get a sister worker out of my grandmothers home because she was robbing her blind! No, I’ve no use for that way of life, especially now after learning their secret lives and the awful truth of who they are and what they stand for. I wanted to be a sister worker…I was groomed to be a sister worker or the worlds best wife. Neither worked out. The problem I have is, I have a mouth. A Big Mouth! I stand up for myself, and I take notice of weird situations and ask all the right questions only to be called down and told I was going to hell for asking those questions. How can Jesus have started this way when William Irvin, a married man, came to US in 1800’s and started this religion? The look I got for mentioning William Irvin….
Nah, Jared isn’t a traitor. He’s awake. He gets it, and he’s done. Everyone should be done with it. Do you need a specific way to live and worship man to go to heaven???? My grandmother thought that doing things for the workers was her ticket into heaven! Is that the promise made to children so that they may edure the abuse by the workers and/or someone in authority? CULT! Traitor? Because he wouldn’t keep the dirty awful secrets??? Traitor of the fellowship……CULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jared, I have been a part of this fellowship for 60+ years, and I have lived on both the east coast (married to a North Carolina boy) and on the west coast where I was raised. But, for a few years I left this fellowship (in my 20’s) and when I came back, it was with my eyes wide open. I had attended over 20 denominational churches in that time. I learned a lot. But, one thing I never saw or felt was the Spirit of God in any of them. But, what was the best thing I learned, was to be thankful for those places of worship because we would not have the freedom of religion we have today, without them. I also learned to pray for those people, not for them to just come to meeting, but that they truly would find God and know the Joy of having Him in their lives. One thing I saw within this fellowship when I returned is all the things that we do…that have no scriptural backing. The things that were allowed that were contradictory to the scripture, and how intimidated the people were by the ministry! People weren’t intimidated by Jesus, so why these imperfect humans? So, as I’ve been watching all this stuff unfold (I was not shocked by what we heard about Dean Bruer – never could stand being in his meetings, he was quite the preacher, but never even took his own advice), I remembered that one of the things that this fellowship has that is NOT scriptural are “overseers”. In Matthew 18 Jesus put it pretty plainly that NONE of them would be above another, and that they were to humble themselves. When one is considered to be above/over another or a group, then abuse of power takes place. We need to fix this. We need to remove all predators from our fellowship (they are felons not “just sinners”). If they can ever find a shred of honesty within themselves, then they can work out their own salvation in fear and trembling too, just not in fellowship with this group (or any other group). We can pray for them, and forgive, but if we truly love their souls, we would NOT put them in a place where temptation abounds. If they want to be right, they will CHOOSE to not put themselves in places where temptation abounds either.
My heart cries for all the victims/survivors, and I push for more change because I want a healthy place for everyone to feel safe. I’m the parent who brought soccer balls to convention to give the kids something safe and productive to do between meetings (and to be sure they stayed safe, I pretended to be cheering for both sides – which allowed me to sit and watch them all to make sure no one was getting out of line nor an adult making stupid decisions…and this was over 40 years ago). I got looked down on, and shamed for bringing “worldly things to Convention”…but, never allowed any of that negative speak to affect my choices. I was sent from working in the kitchen to cleaning the bathrooms at night because of it – which actually was not such a bad job…because I made it fun! They’d tell me to shut down the whole bathroom, and I shut down HALF the bathroom so others wouldn’t be forced to “wait”, and I would sing while I worked…because God was in my heart! I still have my eyes wide open, and my home is (and has been) open to any who need a safe place to regroup (and many have) from the world or this fellowship. I was informed that I was “not to speak to the people of the world” (when I lived in NC) and I just laughed and said, “Well, that sounds like the voice of the devil, not wanting to lose any of his converts”. She was stunned, and then was more determined than ever to “fix me”…from my flip flops I wore/wear to Bible Study, to the modest pants I wore/wear to pick vegetables, climb fences, ride horses/4-wheelers, etc. What she learned, is that if it’s NOT scriptural, it doesn’t apply to me. I’m following Jesus.
When we were ordered to come before Taylor Wood and Kenion Coleman, my husband was raised to never question anything a worker said…I was not. So, it didn’t go well for them, because I actually read my Bible and knew what they were saying wasn’t scriptural (Kenion wasn’t even reading what was actually written on the page!!), and had the audacity to pick up Taylor Woods Bible and read what was actually PRINTED. We were sent home, and never bothered by either again. Al Goff tried more than once to assault individuals in our home while my husband was at work…I did NOT take it kindly, and the last time he tried, he was booted from our home and told to never return. Because, no one led by the Spirit of God would act that way. Did that make us “cast aways”? Nope! We had Union Meeting in our home, and it was not one he could attend. So, he would preach at me at Gospel Meeting instead, and I’d sit there and laugh at him and shake my head. I know he hated me, and I didn’t care. I wasn’t there for him, I was there for his young companion who actually DID preach the Gospel, and the friends who loved us so deeply. We did end up moving back out west after 5 1/2 years of Al’s abuse (they didn’t move workers around much back then), and our children were getting old enough to know that what Al was preaching was NOT what Jesus taught, so we headed out west. Gave up our homeplace, and it was very hard on my heart to be leaving those friends behind. But, for the sake of our children’s salvation we had to get away from him. Taylor would do nothing – he never cared, and was only in the work for the free life. He told me “I was never called into this ministry, but who wouldn’t want to go on someone else’s dime!” Made me sick. So, if anyone needs help, or wants to discuss anything, or just wants a friend…I’m here.
Thanks for telling your story. My husband and I are both B&R in the fellowship. Our young family spent 13 years in NC. Our eyes were opened to a whole new set of rules we hadn’t learned in our 30 years prior. Like asking the workers before having any get togethers! We weren’t in the habit of asking the workers how to conduct our lives and didn’t start then. Instead we endeavored to treat all with kindness.
If you were there from 1995-2007, I remember you cleaning the bathrooms and singing. You were kind and comforting to me when I was pregnant and nauseous.
We also were concerned about the children’s safety. We set up an area were we could keep an eye on our kids and they could play with others between meetings. We brought the toys and other parents thanked us for it. Watching those kids play and visiting with the other parents are some of my favorite memories from convention during that time.
henoffour, you sound like someone I’d love to chat with. How does one go about doing that on this site?
Very solid points made and well thought out. “We have lived to the drumbeat of the gospel meeting, special meeting, convention routine for so long that we are hypnotized. We can’t tear ourselves away from this religious routine long enough to get together and address a very obvious crisis as the family that we supposedly are”. This is real. This was my life. You can not even begin to focus on Christ when you are so busy with meetings, meetings and more meetings. What I have found is this: “We have brothers and sisters in Christ that have a relationship with God, believe in Jesus, are born again, are seeking to be led by the Holy Spirit, and will inherit eternal life who have never met or heard a worker. They don’t know this ministry or fellowship exists and they are alive to God”.
Thank you for your insight and kindness. It’s unfortunate there are people that have such callous and hard attitudes like BEHOLDER. He appears to be a “good professing” man.
Thank you. It is encouraging to see those standing up for what is right. I hope all will dig deep to see what has happened in this ministry and strive for a righteous outcome.
Jared, everything you said here has been on my heart for months, some of it for years. I left the fellowship when all the **** broke out a few months ago. Learning the truth about the “truth” left me feeling very betrayed. The thought of attending a meeting now makes me want to hurl. I feel now like I have been able to get closer to my Father. I am now realizing more every day how much Jesus means to me and how much I owe Him–my all. We have heard those words repeatedly for years, but I never really understood how I was supposed to make it happen. All I can do is let go of myself and put my complete trust in my Father, in Jesus, and in the Holy Spirit. These three are One God. One to the third power is One. A wonderful thing about that equation is I can be included because one to the fourth power is also One. Everyone who puts their trust in God can be part of the equation. One to the billionth power (and beyond) is still One. God bless you!
Teresa Schauffler
Kansas City area
Jared stated: “A friend that I grew up with testified in court about a criminal act of abuse done to a child by an elder that she witnessed and the overseer made it known that she was not to be in meeting if she testified – that overseer is still in the work, and where does that leave her?”
That is a criminal act called Witness Tampering. A form of intimidation and suppression. She was ex-communicated for her honesty, bravery and doing her civic duty.
I’d like to know who the overseer/worker is? He should have no place amongst the fellowship, let alone the ministry! This is thug behavior 101. Covering for a perpetrator is even worse than the original offense because it enables and supports the perpetrating culture amongst the church. Who is this guy???
Yes exactly! Whats his name?
Jared, I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve endured. We left coincidentally right before the DB fallout and now have the language to know that I was raised and participated in a fundamentalist/ legalistic sect that is based on the limited commission.
The unnecessary pain and sacrifice so many have endured is heart wrenching.
The words of John Piper now often come to mind, ‘Bad theology dishonors God and hurts people.’ Thank you for taking a stand and attempting to end the cycle of pain.
Jared- it takes back bone to do what you have done! It won’t be easy, but with God it will be all worthwhile!You are a brother in Christ to me.I would love to keep in contact with you and everyone that has left this fellowship, it cant be cured, honest souls need to seperate from people that make a mockery of Christianity!
Jared; Your letter of exit shows the immensity and depth of your Heart, Mind and Soul. You have had the experience of SEEING and KNOWING
2 Corinthians 11:13 – :15 the experience and you at least realized; finally.
Yes, we must bow our heads in thanks to those three, who without any plans to shake-up rancor; has had the effect to either deeply search our hearts and our hope or vehemently deny the twisted hearts and minds that so heartlessly destroy and yet seek to keep their esteemed “position”
We bow our hearts and Spirits to your deep soul searching and the ability to allow your mind to be Honest enough to read what was actually ‘true’!
Your revealing question: How many have we driven away? Have we destroyed? So what does God want?
Yes, Your answer of: But God and His Son will be there.
That is of great importance! How do you find the answer?
The answer is given in very clear, plain language in Ephesians 6:11-:18 :17.Our helmet of salvation and our sword of the Spirit IS the Word of God.
Hebrews 4:12 explains the “word of God”: we are thankful it is true!
This was written by the ‘apostle of Christ’ from his imprisonment in Rome to the saints which are at Ephesus. You read that first sentence of chapter 1:1 – :6 of Paul’s letter to the saints at Ephesus.
You will learn :3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who hath blessed us with ALL((Yes, that is what it says))
spiritual blessing in heavenly in “Christ”! (Not what we do)
:6 to the praise of the glory “”of his grace””, wherein “he”
hath made us ‘accepted’ in the beloved (NOT what we do)
:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, (not what we do)
the forgiveness of sins—according to the riches of His “”grace””
:9 (Can you imagine this???) Having made known unto us:::
What?? The mystery of His “will”
Do you, Jared, know what this is? “Mystery of his will”? We did not!
Do you know how to find the answer? We did not! (No, this is not a game.)
What is required of US? :11 -13 first trusted in Christ
in whom ye also trusted
after that ye “believed”
(NOT what we did) ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise
If you are interested in What the “Risen Christ” through his apostle, Paul, is NOW teaching by His Grace: Ephesians 3:1-:9; 2:1-:18; 1:15 -‘:22-:23’
But Now Romans 3:21 – :28 etc., etc.,
I do pray for peace for you, Jared, but also want to offer a word of appreciation to those who have been so patient and caring toward you throughout your years in the work.
Hi Jared,
I wanted to say that what you did is very courageous. It is a very difficult thing to leave something that has been part of your life for so long. It is like removing a rib or a kidney but at times it is necessary to save your spiritual life.
Some years ago I began to see the meetings in a different light because of some stuff that was happening among the workers. This caused a lot of upheaval in my life because, for the first time, I began to feel uncomfortable in the meetings. My eyes began to open and once that started there was no turning back. God removed the veil. It was difficult to just walk away because of the connections with the meeting in terms of family members not understanding and the fear of being rejected by many for leaving. The trauma of it all and feeling trapped led me to a breakdown.
However, that became a game changer for me. I realized the importance of living at cause and not effect. In essence, I needed to be authentic and live according to my belief, that I could have psychological and physical balance. In the word of God, it tells us that our walk, words and actions should be in alignment. When these are not in sync it can cause mental and spiritual conflict. I was having this conflict within me because I wanted to be free from “a way” that was dominating, and controlling, where it was do as I say and not as I do.
I began to distance myself from some of the meetings and eventually, I got the strength to leave completely a few years ago. My husband also left some years after me. We have no regrets! We were not looking for religion, we simply wanted to place our lives under God’s direct control. Sometimes the mistake for some is to replace one controlling religion with another. It is important to get to know God on a personal level without the interference of others. We enjoy fellowship as a family and we have peace. It is amazing the conflict that can enter a home when you are part of a false religion. God is truly at the head of us.
When we see what is happening in the meetings today, it is clear that the spirit of God is not with many of these leaders. They talk about not watching television. Some of the stuff they are accused of would only be seen on X-rated shows. People need to seek God independently from those meetings. There is only one ‘Truth’ and it is in Jesus. There is a lot of psychological manipulation and people are so conditioned to believe in this “one true way” that is just really an earthly religion that condemns everyone who is not a part of it to hell.
The meeting is not ‘Jesus’s Way’. Jesus was rejected by the Jews partly because he was not exclusive. He healed and forgave people whom they condemned. They had their ideas about what their Messiah should/would be like and he did not meet their expectations. The meetings are no different, it is full of self-righteousness, prejudice and condemnation. It is time for people to examine the meetings through the word of God and see that it comes up very short. This is the reason for all the trouble in it. Some say these things happen in every church. However, these same people believed that they were or are better than every other church, which they term as being all false religions. If now they are seeing the similarities, perhaps it’s time to see that the 2×2 religion is also false. For many years they have pointed their fingers at all other Christian denominations while many were pointing back at them. I have proved that many of the things which they have accused others of being, apply to them. They say, “They have the word but not the spirit”. I have proved that many of these workers do not have the word or the spirit.
When we open up our minds to read and learn more about the word of God outside of the meetings, it is clear to see how much we do not get from them. There is a huge lack of true spiritual leadership in those meetings. It is only when you take a step back and ask the ‘Holy Spirit’ to show you that it is clear to see. The messages to the churches in revelation reveal so much about the meetings when we study closely. There are many false preachers in this world but God gives us a discerning spirit which helps us to know what to accept and reject.
Read the Word of God and listen: